So I went through my ex boyfriends phone and found out that he had been texting some inappropriate things to other women. Now he is mad at me and will not discuss getting back together because I invaded his privacy and lied to him. I need advice.
Apologize, but think about if you really want to continue with an unfaithful boyfriend who flirts and texts other women. This is called cheating, whether it’s physical or emotional…
We finally talked and now he says he hopes he can get passed being mad at me and that he still needs time but I’m going crazy with the fact of not knowing
My gosh, you should be the one who is mad. He cheated (emotional and maybe physical) on you. If you want to settle for this type of person and you have no other options to date decent guys, go ahead and wait for him to get over his anger. How long have you been boyfriend/girlfriend?
14 months
I didn’t see this post earlier and I suggest we continue the conversation on the other post after I address this one.
Your ex is not mad at you. He was embarrassed and being defensive and projecting that on to you.
You are not stupid. You went through his phone because your instincts were telling you that he was hiding something. Althought, in my book sending inapproporiate messages or even pictures is a serious problem, it is not always a deal breaking. Actually meeting the other person is the deal breaker for sure.
The biggest problem I see is a lack of trust and respect for both of you and no relationship can succeed without that.
The first step for you is to stop being his door mat and command his respect so he never acts out like that again by giving him the strong message that you are just fine without him. Stay full no contact and make him worry that he is losing you. That is exactly what he should be worried about. He screwed up not you. He is so self absorbed that he thinks he can play the field with other women and come back to you anytime he wants, and you basically gave him the message that he is right by accepting the blame for his bad behavior and by chasing him.
Flip the script on him now. Go full no contact, heal yourself and become strong and confident to where you feel secure enough to meet other men and know you can live just fine without him. Then watch him panic and start chasing you when he realizes that. He better shape up fast before he loses you for good.