Hello. Thanks for supporting me here it is much appreciated! So, my ex and I had a really rough end. Bottom line I love him so much and I can’t get him off my mind. I feel crazy. Anyways we broke up a year ago now. What happened was I broke up with him when I went to college. I started dating a college guy three and a half weeks later and my ex got very mad. I didn’t care until I hit depression. I was so depressed because my new boyfriend was nothing like my ex and I missed my ex terribly and was using this new one as a total rebound and I felt like a terrible person. I texted my ex after a month of no contact. We talked and cried on the phone together, but he said he couldn’t have me back because I hurt him too bad. He mentioned he was moving on and had been talking to a new girl. He started dating her a week or so later. We continued to talk/text for that whole week like old times but just as friends. I decided to go home and meet up with him and go fishing. Well one thing led to another and we hooked up and both cheated on our new partners. I felt awful. I immediately came out to my new bf as soon as I got back. That pretty much ended that. Then he told me he told his gf. He gets upset at what hes done because we both have high morals. He ends up blocking me of social media, my number, everything. He completely blocked me. I then got so upset I got drunk and threatened to tell his gf about the cheat cuz I knew he didn’t. He admitted he never told her and bam he hated me. He told me he would hurt himself if I told his new gf. So I quit. I was devastated and he wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn’t stand the rejection. It was like coming so close and without knowing how far away you truly were. We had minimal contact since and that was January of 2014. It’s now October. I only tried calling every few months or so to see how he was from my house phone. We saw each other a few times at the gas station and acted civil. I could never get passed how he could have me blocked though and I loved him so much it hurt. I know he loved me he’ll even admit it to anyone. It’s not like I’m goin after something that isn’t there believe me this guy treated me like a princess. I miss him horribly. All I want is for him to come back. Now today he texted me and unblocked my number for the first time since January! This is the first time he’s contacted me first. I’m guessing the no contact rule is working. He wanted to know everything about what I was up to and like so much. He explained to me that he was hurt so bad that he couldnt find another way to cope with the pain other than to block me out entirely. So, he said he thinks of me from time to time but he changed the subject quickly to small talk. Then cut the convo off completely after getting whatever he needed. I told him how well i am which is true. He said he was alright. We spoke nothing of relationships, but he did say he didn’t want me to think anything would come about meaning getting back I guess. I told him we should keep the past for the past and he agreed sort of. Make a long story short…What do I do now? The convo is over I’m officially unblocked his gf the same one is two states away at school and were right down the rd from each other?..any ideas. I’m scared to ask him to hang out because he knows what happened last time we tried hanging out as friends! HELPPP
why did he contact you for? I think you have a chance at getting him back. if I were you I’d give it a few more days send him a text message to see where hes at and then go from there. good luck and keep us posted. 
Thanks so much! I feel like waiting for him to text me first again. Maybe I’ll wait until next week and see what happens because I’m going on a vacation at the end of this month and won’t have cell service so I’ll have to try before I go. I just don’t know what I’m going to say without him thinking I’m running back to try and get him back again. I just want to make it seem like we are just friends. I want to get together with him and do something but it seems almost impossible because he’ll think of the only time since the break up that we got together and how it led to cheating. What should we do? Go for coffee? … McDonalds date lollll I’m being legit here tho! It can’t be anything crazy
I think you should take it slow. see if he’ll go with you to one of those places. if not go on your vacation and contact him when you come back. then send him a text and see where it goes from there. good luck and keep us posted. stay sstrong your doing great.
is he still dating that girl ?
r u still dating the boy in school ?
if not, try to reset the relationship! just have fun and don’t mention the history A WORD.
he didn’t get back with u coz the hurt, now the NC help him get out of the painful,
so keep contact with him and start a new healthy relationship with him.
u can find the answer between the meetings
No I’m not still with the boy from school and yes he’s still with the same girl but shes in college now like 8 hours away two states away…she’s going for four years at least shes real real smart and no offense to him but hes not! lol soooo…he’s home I’m home working full time…I guess he’s bored and lonely and decided to text me finally who knows I just am struggling 
I wish I had answers but thats everyone here patience is key the more input I get the more it helps tho! thank you
this is your opportunity to communicate with him and get him back. start trying to insinuate contact with him little by little a text here and there from time to time till you guys can hang out together. stay strong you can do this.
SOOO I guess he really was thinking about me a lot. Last night he texted me at like 8 and asked if I wanted to smoke. (Sorry if your not ok with that). Then straight after said the text was meant for someone else. I played it cool and said haha i totally would’ve though. He said if his friend doesn’t get back to him he will. I quickly rushed home and jumped in the shower. Right as I was getting out he texted me saying his friend didn’t answer. I met him at the grocery store and got into his car and left mine. Things weren’t that weird in the beginning honestly. Yeah it’s been a year since we hung out last and the whole cheat thing I explained ^aboved happened but things weren’t awkward. We drove to this back road and pulled over to smoke. When he was packing the bowl he says how he smokes and drinks so much now and he is so stressed all the time. I said “why cuz your job?” he said no it was because his gf is away at school and hes afraid that shes gunna leave him the way i left him and he has all these trust problems that I created. i felt sorta bad but felt like he was pinning all his pain on me. We started smoking and I took the smallest hits because I am not much of a smoker anymore. I told him I only came to chill really. He started bringing up the past when he got high. He said that he thinks I cheated on him before I broke up with him. But I swear I didn’t I don’t know where he’s getting this from. He explained to me that if his gf found out we hung out she’d probably break up with him. He got mad because I told my best friend I was chilling with him. He began to bug out knowing that she knew everything about us. I told him he could trust her and she wouldn’t say anything because she knows I would kill her! He got over it and thanked me. Idk why? lol. He started naming guys that he thought I cheated on him with. I kept yelling at him not meanly to stop bringing that shit up cuz it never happened. Anyways, I said “it must eat you up holding back this secret from your girl about the cheat and your so paranoid about it and all the guilt is all over your face” he then said “are you trying to hurt me?” but again he was high… He sat there for a minute got all teary eyed grabbd the bong and started ripping it like something I’ve never seen. He was drowning out the pain of everything. His tears faded and he became stupid high. I said it probably isn’t a good idea to keep hanging out. I asked him to bring me back to my car and he was just laying there with his eyes closed. I think he sort of expected me to try something with him kind of. I think he wanted to hook up but there was no way! I am not making the same mistake twice. On the drive back he looked sad and very unhappy. We talked and made convo good and laughed a little when he told me a funny story. When I pulled out he was going left and I was going right he looked at me in the eyes for a good 10 seconds with the saddest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen and until I drove away. I made the dumb mistake of texting him “im starting to feel it hard now-_-” talking about the high. He didn’t respond. It got me worried so about an hour later I called him and it went straight to voicemail?..I didn’t try again! I feel like I shouldn’t have done any texting or calling and regret it. idk what else to do now.
remain no contact till he contacts you. let him look for you. are you sure he wasnt really trying to text you and use the excuse it was for a friend? it seems like he misses you and you both have chemistry together which its a good thing. I think he seems confused. I think you should give space for a week and see if he contacts you. if he does within the week answer him and if he doesnt continue no contact for the week then you can send him a text to see where thing are at with both of you. good luck and keep us posted.
i do wonder how smoking does affect this whole process. does it slow it down and make you think about it more or does it speed the whole thing up? or a combo of both? do they think about the past (with the ex) and then forget what they thought? guess im wondering because thats what my ex is doing right now. we used to get high together a lot. now shes with her ex, staying at her mums place, smoking. her mum banned us smoking there and shes now allowed to do it? she must be hurting right?
if she wasnt allowed to smoke there she wouldnt be at her place. i know. she wouldnt want to spend time with her mum so much as they arent in a good place.
you probably shouldnt have messaged him but its all fixable. just give it time
Thanks for all the responses! To the persons post above^ weed isn’t used for fun in this scenario, it’s used as self-medicating and drowning out the pain! It is really not good! So if you’re girl is smoking a lot it’s because she is deeply hurt and she’s not dealing with it very maturely just like my ex bf. Now it’s been two days since we hung out and he still hasn’t tried to contact me and I feel like such an idiot for texting and calling him after we hung out:/ I spoke to my mom about it briefly and she thinks that he was just making sure I was still there as a back up plan if his girl dumps him! She says that the next time he texts/calls me I shouldn’t answer and see what his reaction is…pure genius she is lol. Because then that proves that I might not actually be there like he thinks. I didn’t give any clues away that I still love him and want him back at all since he’s contacted me wednesday. If anyone has anything else to add please do so! I love you all, you are great people<3
So. This didn’t work out. I wasn’t going to answer him the next time he texted but this time was different. He was wasted the other night. He texted me “I shouldn’t be texting you but I’m drunk and horny.” Of course the english wasn’t as clear as that. I ignored the horny part because I knew that if I went along with it and met him and hooked up he’s hate me for taking advantage of him drunk. I asked if he needed my help and why he was drunk alone. He claimed that he was drunk alone at home in his drive way at 11:30pm. He said he only needed himself because that’s what he gets left with in the end. When I tried calling him he wouldn’t answer the phone because someone would hear him in his family and probably get conerned that he was drunk by himself. So I told him that he clearly isn’t over the past and he needs to get past what I did to him a whole year ago. I got sort of mad and said “out of all the people text with this shit you chose me?” he was so drunk though he didn’t even no how to respond. He made no sense. I then told him not to drive and to be safe and didn’t answer the rest of his texts. None of which made sense. That was it. He didn’t even text me the next day apologizing or anything? I haven’t heard from him and I’m worried…I didn’t say anything bad and I was being a good friend and didn’t take advatage of his condition…so why hasn’t he tried to contact me to apologize? I texted him the next day and asked “are you ok after that incident last night” and he didn’t answer that was four days ago. I didn’t try contacting him at all since. Do you think he’s embarressed? I’m so confused? Help?
Who knows? I’m also getting this hot and cold behavior from my ex. I think he’s just confused because he’s guilty and probably still has feelings for you…I don’t know what you should do if he does contact you…I’m dealing with the same predicament where we’ll talk and I’ll feel a little better and then we’ll ignore each other again. It’s a game, a stupid game. Your mom had the right idea though…But how long do you ignore him if he contacts you?
Let’s make a pact that we won’t contact our exes unless they do. And even if they do, we ignore it for 3 days or more. What do you think?
Or only when they contact asking to meet or get back together
But isn’t it important to have “fake friendship?”
Yeah that crossed my mind…just how do you know when to do that…i mean we’ve both tried, hasn’t really worked, so we’re back to NC, how and when to try again?
I wish I knew buddy…maybe if you know that your ex still cares then try to be friends?