Hello everyone,
To make a long story short, I am a 22yr old guy who has been dating the same girl since he was 17. (She is currently 21)
We have been on and off for a little over 5 years.
Girl of my dreams, lets start it at that. Relationship over all was pretty great, like I said we were on and off, but what relationship isn’t when you start dating at a young age? There were moments when she would step out and make stupid decisions. (she lives on campus and was in a sorority). It was something I learned to accept going to a different school and living at home about an hour away…Always in the back of my mind I thought she was up to something, trust became and issue and I would try to move on in my own way at home when we were on and off…but was hard because I was very much in love, it was hard to forgive her and trust in that lifestyle.
Years went on of the on and off game, I tried dating other people, she caught me, got mad, made up once again… She eventually moved off campus, dropped the sorority (for me), and we started dating and doing great again…I got a new job as a police officer, went off the the police academy and things were progressing…Talks of the future, marriage, moving in, I thought this was “our” time finally.
It became hard to ask my family for advice on the topic of her due to the fact it was always so on and off between the two of us, the relationship lost its credibility and to them, I needed to just man up and move on, but I couldn’t do that, I saw my future with her. Despite our troubled past, I wanted her.
I graduated the academy and started my career at 22. Shes in school graduating school this semester and then is trying to get in PA schools or a med school. She started going out more with her old sorority friends. Her old friends from high school are kind of the negative influence on her, all happily single and okay with casually dating/sleeping with people…especially her sorority friends.
One night after work I drove an hour from home to see her at 12:30am. She was acting werid and wanted to talk. I walk in and she was painting her nails and had this blank look on her face of just pure emotionless. I knew what was coming.
She broke things off with me and stated “I dont see you in my future as much as it sucks”. I was shocked, because I was finally starting to actually be a great boyfriend to her, seeing her more, doing cute things…but i feel like it was never enough. “its been 5 years and im still unhappy”. I was dumbfounded, I didnt know what to say, when just weeks before we were talking of the future. I left her house that night trying to make sense of non-sense… and then started the NO CONTACT rule.
I deleted her off my instagram and snap chat. and didn’t initiate any contact with her. 5 days later she calls me, I let it go to voice mail. She leaves me a voice mail.
“Hey its me, just calling to check in and make sure everything’s going well…and uhh yeah thats it have a good night”.
At this point im so confused…my ex of 5 years who wanted nothing to do with me is checking up on my well being like im some charity case. Ruined my night completely.
Now here is where things get interesting,
Me, like the idiot read too many mixed opinions online about the no contact rule, so i caved.
I called her back the next day, she answers. We talk for 10 minutes.
Before the call concluded, I asked her what she was doing tonight and if she wanted to get together… she paused for about 4 seconds…
“Bri’s calling me (her friend) i’ll talk to you later”
At this point I feel pretty stupid…
So i texted her saying if she wanted to do something just let me know.
“im really sorry but I just really need some time to myself, and im sure you do too”
I reply
“I was giving you time to yourself until you called me to check up on me”.
Her
“Just making sure you’re okay that’s all”
The texts go on for a while until (of course) we start bickering about the breakup.
I learned from some of her texts her true intentions:
“Im not asking you to go on and off with me again, im not trying to drag this on and make this difficult. I just time time to be with myself”
“I reached out to you to make sure you were doing okay. I understand that you might have questions but im not trying to beat the same drum over and over”
“Maybe im just not ready for the future yet, i dont know, i appreciate everything that you did for me, and you went above and beyond. I thank you for allllll of that. Im just young and i need a chance to act young while I still can”
Concluding the texts, I told her “just dont expect me to be here when you realize the party eventually ends”
“im not asking you to be” she replied. And stopped answering because she had to do homework.
I AM DUMBFOUNDED!
I feel absolutely stupid and like I wasted 5 years of my life and building up this relationship to just leave me in the dust without rhyme or reason to be single. I feel like everything she said was an excuse to some bigger scheme. Usually we would text and make up but this time is so different. Is it actually done for good? Will NO CONTACT even work at this stage?
Desperate need for some help in this situation, hearts telling me to move on, but what if she eventually comes back? I feel my pride and dignity took a serious shot the past couple years, but this just plain sucks!
HELP PLEASE ! 