I was together with my ex for about 2 years. Everything was fine, we had a great time, and no matter what Problems we had (and there were not that many Problems) she would stay with me. But in the last months I had a lot of private Problems with my father, so I was often angry at my girlfriend because of nonsense…because I was always frustrated, even if it wasn’t her fault. Maybe I acted a bit weird aswell, but I explained it to her already. But this summer she went to america (we are from Austria) and we did not have that much contact. And most of the contact we argued and haven’t actual fun conversations. After 1,5 months she said when I was angry again, it’s better to break up. We didn’t see each other for 1,5 months, not even via skype. Just texting, and it felt a bit unpersonal to me (if this is even a word?). I convinced her to give us a week to think about it, and she agreed. After a week she said, she wants to see me before she decides. The Thing why she even thought about a breakup, is that I said „I am the same again now, I solved all my Problems“. And then she realized how much I changed, and maybe through the texting she got a wrong Image of me… but we never met after this, because of some complications. So we never actually spoke about this personally. She always loved me before this, I am sure! I just know it! So she than said, it’s completely over with us. I started to beg hear and everything you said is wrong. For 1 week or so. I got to the Hospital, and I could have died because of some brain bleading or some Thing, I didn’t understand it fully. But she was really scared about this. And what did I do? I asked her, when all this is over, if we could give it another Chance. She always said no. After all, I said I acted that desperate and annoyed her to make her „hate“ me… yeah, it was a lie. But thats what I said. She said, she never could hate me. I apologized a few times for this, and never begged her again, but still tried to convince her somehow… She always said, she loved me still more than anything else, but doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And she said I should move on and let her go. She said I simply wasn’t the same anymore and she didn’t like me how I was right now. It’s over with us. No Meeting, no skype, nothing. Then they were compications again with my brain, and I wanted to explain it to her via skype, but she didn’t want to skype with me. No way. Then I said, it’s better than to block her and Forget her. She said „I think it would be better like that.“ And blocked me first. After a few days I wrote her a sms , to say that my illness was cured, and said how happy I was, how life is actually going well and that I am working on myself to become a better Person for me, because in some Points she was right. I apologized to her for everything and wished that we could speak again when we see each other, and maybe have some fun. She never replied. So I started the no contact. She still doesn’t say anything. You should know: She has a really important exam at the end of the summer and is fully focused on this. Some friends say, maybe she is like that because she is so stressed, and will come back to me when it’s over and she actually see me being myself and happy when School starts? She has no social media or anything. I am her first love. And first boyfried. She is not that much interested in such Things, but it was something different with me, even though she is 18. Should I really ignore her when School starts? I started to work on myself, and to really become that old, attractive me, because I was happy then. Should I talk to her when I see her at beginning of School? She is really shy, and would never make the first step, no matter what the case is. How should I act around her? She always cared for me, shouldn’t I Show at least a bit that I feel sorry for all this? Should I ignore her completely? What should be my steps after no contact? I think, She became adjusted to not seeing and being with me this summer… thats the main Problem… but maybe this changes when she is actually around me at School? What if she avoids any contact alone with me? How are my chances?
Sorry for the long post. Thank you for every reply.
@marko813 - Girls don’t like to stay with angry guys! You can’t change yourself in a short time and maybe anger management classes would help you. Don’t make anymore stupid statement such as "I did it to make you hate me and better to block her and forget her! Think before you speak! You’ve already apologized, so no need to do it again. When you see her at school, be polite. Maybe say hi, but don’t ask to get back together! Actions speak louder than words, so show her you’re different by being happy and kind, not angry. Nobody is a mind reader so we don’t know your chances. Work on your issues…
Thank you for your answer. Yeah, I know I did stupid things. But I think, we all do that after a breakup, don’t we? Well, today school started. And somehow I felt like the distance actually killed the relationship (We spoke rarely for 3 months.) So idk why, but I went over to her and spoke about a series I watched a while ago, and she watched it before me. At first she didn’t seem like she felt well with speaking to me. You know, I asked if we could speak a bit, she asked “what about…” and I said “just some stuff that happened the last month. I watched that XY series. It was really good!” Then we talked about that, and a lot of other stuff, and it felt like she started to let her “guards” down. For example when we were in the bus, she just stood there and didn’t take a seat next to me, even though she was in a conversation with me. But a bit later in the train she actually poked me. And we made jokes and things. The conversation went really well from my perspective. I really think I overcame my anger issues. I did a lot of meditation the last month you know? I think, I really solved all the issues(The break up was 1 month ago at this time.). And I started to laugh a lot again and joke around and all that stuff she liked about me. Am I doing it well? Or did I do any mistake with contacting her?
@Marko813 - Yes we all do stupid things, but we learn from them so as not to repeat them. No you didn’t make a mistake by talking with her and it sounds like it went well. I’m glad to hear you overcame your anger issues. Remember, girls like happy polite guys, not angry ones! By being the guy she liked in the beginning you will build up her attraction for you again. Take it slow and easy. Don’t text too much. Go out on fun dates sometimes and always treat her with respect and kindness. Don’t say or do anything to hurt her feelings. Keep up the good behavior and good luck:)
I don’t understand the world anymore. Today she is totally cold towards me! I don’t know what to do…when I try to speak to her she just answers quick and kinda annoyed. What the hell happened??
@Marko813
How old are you? After a breakup, it takes time for a person to let the bad memories of the relationship to fade. It’s only been 2 months since the breakup, right? Stop trying to talk with her!
In her mind, you are pushing yourself on her and acting desperate. Back off and just be happy and friendly by smiling and saying a simple “hi” when you see her. Be more patient.
@Marko813 - I’m in the United States, where are you? I would have answered your message earlier, but when you wrote it, it was the middle of the night here.
I am in Austria. I’m 18. I know I should do that, but it feels like it would make things worse, idk. It hurts really bad to see her everyday in class. I never felt such a pain before. But well. In the end it’s my only option I guess.
Well, you should know I am in a lot of problems at the moment. Like really bad problems, I actually live on the street right now…
I know, I should worry more about that, but why not worry about every thing if I got the time to haha.
The thing is, because of that I couldn’t speak only about positive things, because she asked me about the negatives. But I stayed happy and optimistic during all the contact, even if I spoke about the problems I would make some jokes about them. But still, having problems isn’t good at this point, right?
So I gave her a letter today, with my old necklace I weared (it was a half heart, she had the other part). I wrote, that it really hurts seeing her so happy without me and cold towards me and that I am going to solve some problems so I won’t be at school. Perhaps for a week. Maybe I’ll have to leave the school because of all that. Anyways, she wrote me some sms, about not doing anything stupid like suicide, because it doesn’t solve problems blabla. Seems like the letter sounded like suicide, idk why. So yeah, I wrote back, and I don’t know why, I explained how terrible everything is (I just couldn’t handle myself…I was so stupid!). She said at some point, she is not the only woman in the world, I’ll find love with someone else if I give it a chance. Well, that hurted a lot! Like it burnt in my heart. Now that all was said, she had to go. And after some time she blocked me again! Even though I didn’t write anything to her! Now I am going to no contact again for 3 weeks. Maybe she’ll worry about me. I won’t come to school, I will try to solve all my problems before speaking to her again. But I worry, if she will get cold towards me again! I can’t handle that situation, if I see her everyday in my class, she sits in front of me! Today she spoke absolutely happy with a good friend, and when I wanted to speak to them, she turned away, even if she was good with speaking with me yesterday! I don’t know what to do anymore…
Just by the way, how comes that you are so active on this site patricia? Are you a co worker or something like that?
@Marko813 - First of all, are you both seniors in high school? Curious as to how you are communicating with her outside school. Texts, email, Facebook, or what. She blocked you where?
A year and a half ago I saw people posting here and not many people were answering. It made me sad nobody was trying to help, so I started to give advice. I’ve seen what helps and what doesn’t. Sometimes people get the ex back, but sadly most don’t. So they accept the facts and move on.
As to your situation, I’m sorry to hear you’re on the street. Why aren’t you living with your parents or other nearby relatives? Can you get a job? The main focus should be to get off the streets! If you need to quit school to get a good job, you can always go back to school later.
Sending her the letter today was a BIG mistake. And why send back the other half of the heart? You wrote:“…that it really hurts seeing her so happy without me and cold towards me”. That sounds like whining and I’m sure she already knows you’re sad about the breakup! Then you write another one explaining how terrible everything is? What is she supposed to do about it other than feel sorry for you? I told you to go slow and not try to push her to talk or get back with you. She still has bad memories of the relationship and now she has even more negative thoughts about you. You need to learn self control over your emotions and actions. You have to get your life together before any girl would be attracted to you. You have to want to make good changes for yourself, not anyone else.
I pray you will be able to get off the street soon!
Well you know, I give up. Her mother contacted my parents. But for what they did they could actually go to prison, so of course they denied it. And even though you can see on me that I live on the street, and have proofs! she still doesn’t believe anything of that anymore, just because my parents said “I was lying”. So I don’t know. Seems like I lost all the chances right now, because she thinks I am a big liar (And if it was a lie, it really would have been a HUGE lie). So I am giving up I think. There’s nothing I can do about 
Sorry for the waste of your time. I wish you all the best, and thank you!
@Marko813 - I don’t know why her mother would contact your parents or who would go to jail for what, but please try to pull yourself together and get off the streets because it’s not a safe place to be. You could go to a shelter or talk with someone in your church. You didn’t wast my time, I just wanted to help you. I pray you will be okay and I wish you the best too…
Well, somehow today I managed it all. I don’t know how, but suddenly my parents apologized. They actually took me back! I solved all the other problems aswell!
My situation is totally complicated, I know that. Thats why I ask for help.
So today I didn’t want to do anything and was just depressed at the park. When suddenly my parents called me and said, that they would take me back. I accepted that and now I’m at home again! I was a half month on the street.
So I had bad friends aswell. Like real bad. They were just fighting and drinking all the day. I broke the contact to them today and said to them that I don’t want them to contact me anymore. They didn’t accept it that easy so I had to do it the hard way…
Anyways, this is a forum about exes, not about my personal problems. So I went with scars and injurys to the train station where she always would go. I explained it all to her, I apologized and said that I always wanted her to be happy. But it’s always the best to listen to her mother. Thats what I said to her under tears. That’s all I said before she hugged me, and said she forgave me already. Then her train was there, I said “Maybe we can speak again another time”, she said “yeah, maybe”. It felt good, but I don’t know if that changed anything. It still felt like she will be cold again in the future, because what if she did it because she felt sorry for me? Thats never good. What would you say?
AND there it is again. 20 minutes ago she was cold to me again when I tried to speak to her. I asked if we could speak in the break again. She said “maybe”. That really frustrates me. Because it felt like a no, more than a “maybe”. The problem is, it’s a fight between her mother and me. Her mother never liked me and would always do anything to keep her away from me. So, if I don’t do anything her mother will win. And I loose. I feel so much like giving up… But if I do anything, it could push her further away.
She also said, she doesn’t want to do anything with my life how it is right now. And she said, it wasn’t still the reason for the breakup. I said, if I changed, could she give me another chance? Again she replied “maybe” and walked away. Now I left school again and don’t have a clue what to do next.
@Marko813 - Stay with your parents and obey their house rules. Don’t hang around with the bad guys because they will drag you down the wrong path. Don’t smoke pot or drink. Go to school everyday and try to get good grades. Get a part time job if you can handle it along with your homework.
She might feel sorry for you because you haven’t seemed to be able to put your life on the right track yet. Her mother maybe doesn’t like you because she of course loves her daughter and wants the best for her. Her mother knew how unhappy you made her daughter. But you can turn this all around for the good if you have the determination to improve.
You’ve apologized to your ex, now it’s time to stop trying to talk with her so much! You have to give her space and time to allow all the bad memories to fade. Be patient. You have to show her over time that you’re doing better and that you’re proud of yourself. She even said she doesn’t want anything to do with your life as it is now and you can’t blame her for feeling like that. So for now you must focus on yourself and do the things you have to do to improve.
I’m wishing you the best and praying for you too:)
My 2 cents:
Forget about her and work on your other issues. When you’ve cleared up your other issues in life, you’ll find someone. It probably won’t be her but it will be someone. I know it hurts and I know it sucks but that’s the way it goes.
It’s me again. Well, last time I told how I had some big Problems in my life itself. So, I fixed all of them, everything is absolutely awesome, I am really happy about my current life Situation. I am happy again, and I Show it. I am just doing great.
BUT…
I still try to win my ex back. Last time I spoke with her about the relationship, she said it again: She doesn’t love me anymore. (that was 1,5 weeks ago)
But she Acts quiet strange. Well, when I speak with her around friends she is just polite and speaks to me like any random guy who asks her something, even though 1 week ago she was totally cold. Well, I felt like the „No contact“ wouldn’t be the best Thing I could do… We haven’t seen each other for 3 months, we just had sms contact, and 1 month ago she broke up. So she was adjusted to not speaking to me. And no contact would disconnect us even more…
But when I am alone with her, she is joking around all the time. Yeah, I am too, but she kinda starts it. She touches me all the time, like today I was convinced that I will Keep the no contact, but I accidentally bumped into her, because I had some work to finish and we had to use the same Train. I said, she shouldn’t think I was waiting for her (because she always uses this Train, I NEVER used it before.) She was just laughing, Holding my shoulder (is that right? I am not that good in english).and saying „yeah, yeah, right…“ and made some jokes. And later the Train would arrive and she jokingly pretended that she would bump me on the rail tracks, I pretended like I would do it on my own, she pulled me to her and hold me. I don’t know what to think about this. She touches me more than she would touch a normal friend. But around other People she Acts kinda cold towards me.
But at School, when there was a Topic that I loved and she knew it, she looked at me and smiled.
I don’t know what to think about all that. Even though she said, she doesn’t love me or have any Feelings for me, she has a lot of fun around me when we are alone, but is cold when we are around People.
And there is one more Thing. 1,5 weeks ago I thought I could win her back with being sweet and such Things (you know what I mean), I gave her a book that I wrote during our relationship. It was some Kind of a diary where I would write all our happiest Moments down. But she always thought it was a book about my fandoms.
As I gave it to her, she smiled at it like she thought „this is so cute“. But, if she really has no Feelings for me, why does she act like this? Why does she smile at something „cute“ I did?
Should I start ignoring her at School? Or should I reach out to her? (Because she never would do it on her own)
Because, if I do ignore her, wouldn’t she think „Well, so ignoring each another is just fine. So I should do it aswell.“?
Maybe you are right about giving up, but that’s just not the way how I handle situations 
I’ll keep fighting until I know for sure that it’s all over and there is really nothing more I could possibly do. That’s just how I am, so I appreciate your advise, but I really would just like to hear some ideas about how to reach my goal, and not giving up
@Marko813 - Maybe the only person who knows why she smiled is her. Be courteous when you see her at school. If you’re the one joining her group of friends, DON’T do it every single day or you will look clingy, desperate, and obsessed with her. Don’t overwhelm her with texts or emails.
Today I really tried to avoid contact to her, just because I felt uncomfortable about it. But when I spoke to her because of something about school she wasn’t as cold as she used to be, even though there were other people around us. Is it a good sign? Should I try to ask her out for lunch? Or should I keep it up not to speak to her?