Hi everyone,
I’m 28 years old. My ex-girlfriend and I have known each other for about 10 years. We were close friends at first, and for the last 3.5 years we were in a relationship. Every moment with her was peaceful, fun, and without drama. I truly loved her and was planning to marry her next year.
Three months ago, we broke up. The reason was that my business collapsed — I was scammed, lost a lot of money, and even faced the risk of going to jail. My mental health got really bad. At first, she supported me a lot, but after about a year, when I couldn’t meet her emotional needs anymore, she slowly pulled away.
Her needs were simple — she wanted me to love her more, show affection, hug her, kiss her, and make her feel cared for. But I was too stressed and distant. Eventually, she told me she didn’t trust me anymore and wanted to break up. She texted me that, and that’s how it ended.
The next day, I texted her saying I thought the breakup was a mistake and asked to meet in person. We met, talked, and broke up again. When we said goodbye, I hugged her and cried. After that, I started no contact.
Two weeks later, I removed her from my social media.
About a month later, when my problems were finally solved, I wanted her to be the first to know. I texted her only:
“Everything has been resolved, I just wanted you to know.”
I didn’t ask for her back or anything else.
About 35 days later, I called her and asked to meet again. She agreed, but when we met, she was still very angry and said she didn’t trust me. She had started smoking and said things like “I hate myself, I feel worthless.” It was a really bad meeting.
On the 50th day after the breakup, it was her birthday. I sent flowers to her workplace — she said they were beautiful and thanked me. That evening, I went to see her without telling her beforehand. I told her that all my problems were over, that I wanted to fight for our relationship, and that I still couldn’t forget her.
But she said the same things again:
“I’m not okay. I don’t trust you. I made a decision and I want to stick to it. I need to heal. I can’t even tell you to wait for me.”
And she left.
Now it’s been 3 months since the breakup. I still miss her every day and think about her all the time. I’m working on myself, but I still have hope that one day we might reconnect.
What do you guys think I should do?
Should I reach out again at some point, or stay in no contact and let her come to me if she ever wants to?
Any advice would mean a lot.