So my ex broke up with me the 22nd of March. We had been in random sporadic contact afterwards but have not shared any dialogue in about 2-3 days now. The break up was pretty amicable, there was some intense negative energy but never any hatred or anger, more of ‘how could you do this to us?’.
I didn’t do any of the negative things minus trying to persuade her during our 20-30ish minute break up session but I’d like to think that’s kind of normal. I didn’t want to jeopardize the relationship she wanted to keep with me and even though my feelings were telling me to fight I kind of felt like I would be pushing her away so I didn’t do the negative things much to my happiness. (this website confirmed what I felt before I even knew if what I was doing was right).
We broke up because I wasn’t doing certain things that created some resentment in her. It’s not like we were fighting all the time, we had a very good relationship and worked on our problems together very well. She’s someone who is very anxious and ambitious so the combination of those two things plus me not doing certain things to solidify a solid future together perturbed her (whether she knew it or not but I could tell and analyzing what happened afterward affirmed those feelings in me even more). She said maybe we could connect together in the future but not to wait for her and she wouldn’t be upset if I moved on and fell in love again even though it was the furthest thing in my mind. She also still wanted to be best friends and said she couldn’t imagine me not in her life. I think that’s her way to have me without having me not realizing this break up could have been me being so pissed that we just ceased to ever talk again.
But I’m in a good place now surprisingly happy and motivated because I know she still loves and is in love with me. I just have this weird unshakable feeling we will end up together again but I don’t know if it’s because our bond is that strong or I’ve somehow fooled myself into thinking she would ever take me back. Maybe it’s because of how relatively amicable the split was and that I respected her boundaries very well even though it was hard.
2ish days ago she poked me on facebook and I hadn’t been on in 1-2 hours to respond so I just decided to poke her back when I got the notification because she pokes a lot of people and usually responds pretty systematically to the pokes with not much thought or emotion. Then I get a poke back which was strange cuz even sometimes when we were together she wouldn’t respond that quickly. I just poked her back again and we engaged in this ‘poke war’ where we poke each other consistently every second until one person taps out. This was a popular thing we did when we were together and it gave me strong hope because it wasn’t even contact I initiated and it felt good to know she missed me strongly and gave me hope that she would be easily convinced to get back together.
I’m in a better place, making moves, happy (somehow. I was a wreck when the realities started setting in). I’m doing what she always wanted I just needed a little trauma to shake the cobwebs off and understand myself.
i guess my question is though what should I be doing next after No Contact? I plan on reaching out to her around the end of the month with a letter if her family will give me her current address since she’s living in a new place for her internship. If not I’m just gonna text her a little later then I may have sent out the letter. I just don’t know how I would set up planning a date with her if she’s in Washington DC and I’m still in NJ. Any help would be appreciated because I feel like I’ve done well thus far in every aspect of this plan I just want to tread lightly and keep my chances as high as they currently feel.