I was dating this great girl for a few months, then she started losing attraction to me (my fault) to the point to where she said she wanted to “take things slow.” This then turned into her needing physical & emotional space which then turned into her barely talking to me & blowing me off every time I tried to hang out with her. The last time we talked she used the word “friend” which was confusing then when I wanted to get drinks later she said she couldn’t, she was with a “just a friend” & her roommates. Even though she said she wasn’t seeing him, she then alluded to flowers I had sent her as “confusing” then finally admitted she wasn’t interested in me romantically any longer.
I made all the mistakes anyone could have possibly made. I ended our last interaction by telling her I never explicitly agreed to being just friends & then I capped that off by saying “Look, I’m not gonna make this a weird thing. I am not interested in being platonic friends with you. sorry”
She never responded, but she also since then hasn’t yet removed me from any social media & views all of my updates. Will I even be able to implement anything in order to get us back together? I feel like she would never entertain seeing me again since I told her I don’t even want to be friends. What do I do
Update: after doing No Contact for a few days, i found out she’s already seeing another dude & posted pictures with him from a beach saying how sexy he is. i didn’t react
does this seriously hurt my chances of reconciliation?
It was fairly clear she was seeing another guy from your first post so this isn’t something new. I doubt she is going to contact you unless this new relationship she has goes bad. At this point, it is up to her. To have a relationship, both people need to want to have it. She knows where you stand.
She lost interest in you. One way she would get back interest is if you worked on making your life better. Not for her but for you. Go out with friends and work on making yourself happy. I would let her contact you if she is interested. Painful but that’s the way it goes. Will she contact you? I don’t have enough information. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. But the best way to increase your odds is to work on making your own life better in the meantime.
UPDATE 2: after going total NC & seeing multiple other women, i got a phonecall with her & we’re going out for coffee at the end of the week!!! hell yea
i’m not letting myself become attached to the outcome nor am i intimidated by the fact she’s seeing a new guy & peacocking hard (posting pics of them holding hands, kissing, etc)
if it’s obviously not meant to be i can always pull back. but this is indeed an exciting development
UPDATE 3: okay, i really goofed Up. i texted her to confirm coffee by giving a time & place. she saw that as “demanding” then said i made it clear we couldn’t be friends ever. i told her it was an immature reaction i had when i was angry then she said “well, i’m seeing someone & i’ll be with him tomorrow so that won’t work”
i then said i understood & asked if she was free Sunday. to which i got no response. then i called her (she was at work & said she couldn’t) THEN texted her the next day asking when would be a good time for our catch-up, again to no response.
have i goofed so hard i can’t recover the situation?? pls advise. thank u
@lol - She said she’s “seeing someone” so your chances probably aren’t good to reconcile at this time. When you ask someone to meet up, you should probably say; When would it be convenient for you? You’ve contacted her several times about meeting and she doesn’t seem receptive, so drop it for awhile. Maybe go no contact for at least 30 days. The relationship with the other guy might or might now work out. Let her be the one to reach out to you in the future if she wants to. In the meantime, focus on your own life. Spend more time with family, friends, hobbies, and other things you enjoy. Good luck.
Confirming a date and time isn’t demanding. Her behavior is totally unreasonable.
Maybe when you went NC, she felt like she lost control of the situation and then contacted you again to feel like she was in control. Then she broke off the meeting to show herself she controls the situation, not you. And on top of it, she talked about going out with another guy. I wouldn’t have contacted her after she said she was seeing someone else tomorrow. Her behavior is pretty bad, I would go back to NC as you did before.