So we were together for about 2.5 years. I suspected him cheating before the first year was over. Turns out he was, with his ex. But he said all it was was sex and nothing else. That lasted about 6 months and then he stopped seeing her for good. Then he started seeing this girl from work (she had a boyfriend at the time, not anymore) so it was just casual between my ex and this girl. And then towards the end of our relationship, he was using the word girlfriend for her and we broke up. Ever since , Ive been seeing him once a week to once every two weeks, but I’m so worried has more time passes, they’re gonna get more serious with each other. I don’t want that to happen since I just want him back. Oh and while we were still together, he was casually seeing her so I don’t think its a rebound. He used to tell me how much he sidnt trust Her because she would sleep with other guys and go out drinking and she was wild. Their relationship has been going on for about 4 months.(the more serious one) I really need help on getting him back. I just want another chance and with him.
When we broke up, he told me he knew we didn’t have a future together and he was unhappy towards the end of it. I know there’s certain things he liked that I didn’t do very often. Such as not wearing makeup, losing weight, not being so attached to him…(And please don’t say I shouldn’t get back with him).
Hi Sarahgina,
For starters, it sounds like you’ve been having a pretty tough time of it, so i hope your doing okay.
It is concerning that throughout your relationship he has been, as you say, ‘casually’ seeing other girls. Has he allowed you to ‘casually’ see other guys? What do you think his reaction would be if you had? Because i bet he wouldnt like it. That much is obvious due to his trust issues with ‘the more serious one’. From where i stand, it seems he is having his cake and eating it and taking you for a ride.
Now i won’t say that you shouldn’t get back with him, because only you know how you feel regarding the situation but what i will say is if you want to get back with him and stay back with him, both of you need to change, alot.
For starters, he needs to show he is committed to you and only you. I wouldnt entertain the idea of giving him another chance if he has someone else, even casually. If he wants you, he wants you and you only.
Secondly, you need to stop letting him walk all over you, because he is. He knows full well if he wanted you back, you would agree to just about any terms to get there. That is not right and the relationship will not last, never mind the fact that it will hurt for you.
I think you need to do the 30 days NC and completely cut him off. Not limited contact but fully fledged NO CONTACT at all. He needs to see that you are not so readily available to him and this may just worry him. You also need to spend this time improving yourself, for you, not him.
I know how easy it is to say “i’ll do anything to have him back” because i’m still in that stage but you really do have to evaluate what those things are. If they are going to affect your future happiness then you need to take a long look at whether he is worth it!
I hope this helps!