This is too painful for me to handle. I feel destroyed.
Update: He broke up with me over a HUGE misunderstanding.
He broke up with me.A misunderstanding happened between us something that would have been completely avoidable. He asked for space one weekend and since he had never asked for that during our 2 year relationship and we had a conflict last week i assumed he didn’t want to see me because he was angry and was keeping a distance. I called him to talk things through and asked if everything is ok between us. He said not really so my belief that he has something with me grew stronger. He told me he had a tough week and asked him why he didn’t tell anything about this and he said because he doesn’t feel like i understand him. I got emotional and told him the only thing i want is to be there for him and give him a hug but he doesn’t want that so i will wait till next weekend. Asked if he at least wanted to see eachother for a few hours but he said no. I told him that he is my strength and i find comfort in the weekend because it’s time to see him. I thought i was being thoughtful.However there was no problem. He didn’t have an issue with me at all just wanted time for himself and i had misunderstood. So, i was unintentionally pressuring him and trying to solve a problem that didn’t exist. The phone call made him believe thay his needs hurt me and i can’t handle his alone time whereas if i had understood that he didn’t have an issue with me i wouldn’t care giving him space and i wouldn’t have cried like an idiot.
He told me he just needed 2 days alone and i should have just given him that and what i told him lately eas painful for him. And i thought he was referring to the previous month, that what happened was so painful to him that he was fed up and wanted alone time for me. So i started explaining myself about then and he told me there is no communication between and i told him because what happened then brought here( which was wrong because there was no connection to then and now ).
He stopped eating and sleeping. He lost trust in me, said he doesn’t know whether it’s worth fighting for someone who brought him to this point and he felt like the more he talks to me the less i understand him( which was true because of the misunderstanding). He asked why did this had to happen to him, what did he do to deserve this and i told him, what did he do to deserve such pressure and i told him i am sorry and i apologised saying i felt a bit unfair because we promised to go on a date once per month and we didn’t that’s why i kept asking. My answer was entirely wrong because i thought he was asking about the previous month, i was stuck there when the answer was about the now and the correct answer was because i thought you were mad at me for something and pulled away. That’s what i had to say but didn’t.
We discussed things in person and agreed on some things but the next day he told me that at least if we broke up i would be freed from this and i asked so if you were ok you would break up with me ? He told me this showed that we don’t communicate at all and i apologised saying i misunderstandood out of fear and i get what he means i am not an idiot. He said that he will go to a different room and he doesn’t want me to talk to him till the next day. I asked him to at least tell me what i did and he said i talked very rudely and i tried to communicate to him that this wasn’t the case at all and that he is overwhelmed. He told me done and i said ok but please understand that i really didn’t say anything and he said stop and he had a panic attack. He told me that he had so many plans about us and I destroyed everything and asked why couldn’t we be like before, why did I have to bring us to this point and do this to him. He told me it would probably take him weeks to be able to face me in person again.
He said that he is afraid that if we don’t go out again it will cause this again ( which was wrong part of the misunderstanding) and i told him no because it’s not that important to me anymore and stuff like that. So he broke up with me thinking we are incompatible and i can’t handle him because i want outings and can’t stand giving him space Which was far from the truth.
After the break up he said I manipulated him, i never respected him and he despises me. A few months have passed and he found a new girl but I can’t move I feel stupid and think that any other girl wouldn’t have made such a stupid mistake.
He told me he doesn’t make me happy and i told him he does. He said if he did then i wouldn’t complain about outings and i told him just because i complained it doesn’t mean the relationship is bad for me or that i wish he was someone else. I told him from now on he is not the only one i can hangout with and we will find a solution and he said if this was true this whole thing wouldn’t have happened . I apologized for everything said i would never do smth line that but he was worried that since it took all this for ke to understand him he may go through something like that again.
He left the relationship without the misunderstanding being cleared out and now i can do nothing about this. This is so painful i don’t know what to do, honestly. I should have at least tried to reach out and explain after the break up, when I still had a chance but he would say how much he hates me and how i never respected him so i was afraid. And I regret it so much. And now gone forever out of nothing, absolutely nothing.