He isn’t going anywhere! Hahahahaa!
I know I probably ought to, seeing as he’ll need some time to think about it after I propose it most likely. I wish I could propose it and he’d know instantly he wants to try that, but that seems like getting my hopes up. I guess I’m just really sick of wanting to hug him or kiss him and not being able to, even though we’re practically dating. And I’m sick of being scared to ask him to stay longer or of wanting to text him but being afraid to look to desperate. I just want to be able to act how I want to act without messing things up.
That’s always the hardest part… Acting like a robot is what I like to call it… That is what you are basically doing and it sucks! But as of right now, you have to take it slow 
I know I do. I don’t even mind being by myself or not talking to him so much, as I know we need a break from each other sometimes and we’ll have time to talk later. I just hate how disingenuous it feels to have to act like someone I’m not just to try and make this work. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Oh yeah I completely relate… It isn’t something that I like to do, but it is helpful… However in the long run, it’s not
I don’t know what’s helpful and what’s not in the long run. I’m just trying really hard to play it cool and to not bug him until the point that we go to the movies. And hopefully from there, something more concrete starts to take shape. I’m not feeling overly optimistic, but we both know that’s just kind of how I am 
I know! I just think you need to be more optimistic now!!
I guess I’m just so far in this situation that I can’t see it from an outside perspective anymore, so I don’t see any of the positives.
Look at my situation…now look at yours. Plenty of positives!!
Ours just feel so similar to me. That’s where I’m struggling. Feeling like I’m too optimistic. No offense, obviously, as I so desperately want things to work for you.
He unfollowed me on Instagram! My optimism kind of got shot, but I guess I have to expect it since I stopped talking to him. Right?..
I honestly wouldn’t read into it too much. I’m sure he’s picked up on the fact that you’re not currently speaking to him, and he’s not thrilled about it. He may be a jerk and he may be immature, but he definitely still cares for you, so he’s probably not happy about this. From this standpoint, he probably unfollowed you for a couple of reasons. The first possibility is that it’s hard or painful for him to see your photos, and he doesn’t want to put himself through that. The second possibility is that he knows you’ll notice this, and he’s trying to get into your head. He wants you to respond to him and ask him why the heck he did that. More than likely, it’s a combination of both. These possibilities are probably more optimistic than him just not caring, but I feel like we’ve established we can be honest about these things with each other, and this is my genuine opinion. If he didn’t act like he cared or loved you at all, it might be different. But I think he unfollowed you for one of those reasons, not because he just has no interest.
God, I’ve gotten myself all worked up and so paranoid that none of this is going to work out. I mean, of course there are no guarantees. But I just keep sitting here and thinking that this is all for nothing and that come Monday and the movie, he’ll just be done with me.
Can you explain more to me why you think all of this? Like what he exactly does to make you think this?
I don’t know. Nothing has happened today. We haven’t talked at all, and I think all of the being by myself is getting to me. I know no contact is about taking care of myself, but today has just been a hard day for some reason.
I guess I just expected that if he wanted to talk to me or were excited about the movie, he’d have tried to. Even if it meant talking about something pointless to get a conversation going. And I’ve had plenty of things I could say to him, but I’ve skipped them because I know I’m just fishing for reasons to talk to him, and that’s probably dumb. I’m fairly certain he went out for frozen yogurt with his ex-girlfriend (the one before me), and I know he has zero feelings for her and she was kind of a sore spot in our relationship for no reason, but it still bums me out. I’m not important enough to talk to today (when he supposed cares about me…) but she is? I know that’s silly. Frozen yogurt for an hour is not the same as the stuff he’s done for me or asking me to a movie, but I still feel like a moron.
People keep telling me I need to bring up the dating idea too, after the movie, and I’m just scared he’ll shoot it down. Why wouldn’t he? He already ended our relationship, it can’t be that hard to deny me just trying to go on simple dates and start from the beginning.
I don’t even know. I’m just paranoid and sad and missing him. I want this to work.
Okay, I gotcha now! Thoughts are the most destructive things in anyone’s life. They haunt you. They make you overthink and overanalyze. They basically distort things that just aren’t true. Being by yourself, your mind begins to wonder, and when it does that, it makes up things that aren’t even close to bring true.
He may be taking his other ex out, but he goes out of his way FOR YOU. The reason why isn’t texting you like your expecting, is probably for the exact same reasons you aren’t texting him! I think he is very much in your shoes and you two are neck and neck.
Whenever you decide to bring up the dating thing, do so. Do it on your terms and when you are ready. Do it on a day where you both have an AMAZING time and you feel that connection spark. That’s when you guys will have a good talk. Even if he rejects the idea for now (which I don’t see happening) the talk will go a lot smoother for the both of you.
Your last paragraph sums up why you are having these thought distortions! Haha! You’re fine! Relax!!
That’s just it though. I feel like I keep expecting something magical to happen or I keep expecting him to make some kind of move/gesture, and when he doesn’t, it feels like he don’t care and I have to shut down. He doesn’t talk to me as much as he used to when we dated? He doesn’t care. He doesn’t hug me when he leaves? He doesn’t care. Stupid stuff like that. So when is it ever going to feel like the right time? I just feel like I look desperate and like a burden trying to talk to him at all.
I want to think he’s not texting me for the same reasons. That he’s waiting on me to say something or he’s trying not to look desperate. The fact of the matter is though that I sent him the last message. He could’ve responded, but he didn’t. Sure, there wasn’t a ton to say, but if he wanted to talk he could’ve worked it out.
I just don’t see how he couldn’t reject that idea. If he wanted to date me or to try and reconcile, I’m here any time. I’d talk to him anytime. Hell, it’s taking every ounce of strength in my body not to just text him right now and ask him to come over. He probably wouldn’t anyways, but it takes that much strength. I guess the way I see it is that if he really cared or wanted me, he has a million options and he’s not appearing to use a single one of them for whatever reason
I’m feeling so crappy this morning. I keep trying to list out all the positives right now, but I feel like I’m sinking in negatives.
You have to understand, that everything you just said about what he is doing, is exactly what you are doing too. You both are trying not to seem desperate. You both are trying not to seem like you care. You both are doing the same exact things to each other.
Hell, I bet he did his own research on how to get you back.
I just don’t think you should read into it. Remember, he is still doing things for you and he is trying to do things with you. He wouldn’t be doing any of these things if he didn’t care. It is flat out clear.
I feel like things need to be brought up when you both are having a great time. That’s when it will be easy for both of you to talk.
I’m going to say exactly what you just said to me: Try not to dwell on it!!! You’re fine. Everything is okay, I promise! If I read into it otherwise, I would let you know immediately because honesty is key here. You need to pick up on the positive signs and not the negative signs. High chances are, he is feeling the EXACT same way as you.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, you’re totally right. One of my friends (who I actually met on here, so he gets this concept) has addressed my two biggest negative fears at the moment. He says that my ex is likely not contacting me for the same reasons you say. He doesn’t want to come across as desperate or he genuinely doesn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t just be trying to strike a conversation up with me, so he forgets about it. He assumes just like I do that if I wanted to talk, I would be in touch (except the opposite way, obviously). I also worry about the lack of physical contact, which as I said before, he thinks my ex is avoiding so that he doesn’t set himself down a path where he can’t control himself. He’ll hug me then want to hold me or kiss me and once he does that, he’ll want to have sex with me. And if that happened, he’d want to cuddle afterwards and take a shower like we used to and all that jazz. It’s just a slippery slope he’s not sure he should go down, and he’s not sure if I’d reciprocate if he tried.
I know that if I try to look at this from a point of total objectivity, there are more positives than negatives at this point. He agreed to hike plans and even initiated movie ones AFTER he moved out. He has no commitment to me at that point unless he wants it. He offered me a ride to work literally as he was taking his last possession out of our shared apartment. He waited to give me a ride home even when I had to finish something and it held him up. He sent follow up texts about the phone. He helped me with the vet and my car situation. I guess it’s just hard when I’m not used to LC or the idea that we could both be tiptoeing around texting each other or being physical instead of just doing it. It’s foreign to me. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. I trust the reasons for why he probably isn’t texting or hugging/kissing me. It’s just new and weird and I want progress towards heading back to where we were. I just worry that if I do something wrong, like text him when I don’t need to for instance, he will start to see me in a negative light and things will shift. As opposed to how they seem like they could be getting better as time goes on.
I really am trying not to dwell on it. I guess it’s just hard being in low contact when I’m not used to it. This is kind of the true beginning for me. It’s also hard because a new situation for us to spend time together just recently came up and it could be a BIG sign in the long run as to how things are going to go, and I’m not sure what to think about that at the moment. I just want someone else’s opinion.