I am devastated. After having it work out so well I think I blew it. My ex came to a live stream I was doing with some other friends and was so happy and excited to see everyone, including me. She then texted me, excitedly and even brought up a memory of us. Like an idiot, I did not say much with what is new in my life. Barely anything at all. I also responded very quickly and showed a little bit of emotion, like telling her I didn’t think she wanted to talk anymore. It started off so well and then she started responding more slowly and acted more friendly than overjoyed to talk to me. I think it’s over. I hate what I have done. I worked so hard on this and I blew it in one shot.
I should also mention that at one point she got kind of emotional. I brought up an old memory of us and it had to do with a gift that I forgot she never gave to me (We are long-distance) It made her feel bad and she started downing herself. She then said sorry and that she’s been very critical of herself lately.
Don’t think you have ruined everything! You can totally get back from this. Are you still talking right now at this moment?
Okay bud. If you have any for of social media: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook; I want you to stop giving her attention on those networks and begin posting the awesome things that you failed to tell her. Post pictures of you having a good time. Post pictures of you at you new job, or your new car. Anything positive and new in you life post a picture of it. Make a status about how awesome your day was doing something NEW. Make it seem like you don't need her to be happy. That's why she stopped texting you. Because you were showing neediness, and neediness is a feminine trait. Next time she texts you don't respond. If she calls don't answer. Why? Because you are too busy being happy without her presence. Give it 21 days without contact and do absolutely awesome activities. Go on a date, for your sake. You don't NEED a female to make you happy. So boost your confidence by talking to other females.
Everything will work out in the end. Either she will come back to you, or you will be so happy and content without her presence in your life. But this is only if you are updating your life on your own. Stop confiding in others and confide in yourself. YOU are all you need.
@Kaila She ended by saying “We’ll talk soon! I’m glad we caught up.” I don’t really know if she actually meant the first part. But it sort of stung since it started out so well. She brought up a memory of us and said she thought about it and it made her sad cause she missed it.
Ratpacker that is all good! Don’t overthink! And take @TJ s advice, it’s rally good You are overthinking. To me that is all good news! If you do what TJ said, you willl leverage it. And I do think she meant what she said. Don’t overthink, remember
And @TJ I would love you to tell me what you think I should do to improve myself, my life and my chances. I really like the type of direction you give others and I think I need someone to tell me what they think I should do. That could maybe push me nicely in the right path
Here is my thread https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/he-says-he-would-like-to-get-back-but/
You think? It feels like the convo started with her so much more excited. I’m afraid I played my hand, showed I still care and that pushed her away.
Maybe. That is why now you need to step back a bit. But if you see she is trying to reconnect, arrange a meet up and maybe get back, I don’t think you should really ignore her and let it all go cold… but that is just my opinion. You know her better than anyone. How long were you together and how long since the break up»
We were together 8 months. We said we loved each other. Then she slowly turned away in the last two months and then said some slightly hurtful things to me afterward. Then she would not really acknowledge me for a long time and even after two no-contacts she would be cold and neutral with any response. So I started giving up. That’s when she started appearing more where she knows I go (online) and then she started liking statuses of mine, giving an occasional shout out and acted very pleasant. Last night was when we talked, and she seemed so excited. But I’m just so afraid she saw right through me. She has been MIA all day now, which is understandable but she wasn’t the previous days. Also, tomorrow is my shift of the stream, meaning if she chooses to come she would actually see me on camera and playing games live for all to see. I don’t know how to act if she comes. She probably won’t now
Act really upbeat Try not to stress too much about it let some time pass now and see what happens.
Which game btw?
Oh I’m participating in a charity marathon, so all sorts of games. Thank you for the advice! So I should be upbeat and carefree? Could I somehow incorporate some of the things I worked on with no-contact that I forgot to mention to her?
What things?
I started working out, got an old writing job back, learned about some things so that I can socialize better at family parties, looked up general guides on how to be less insecure and changed my major to something I could bare.
well, be more confident on camera. more happy. other than that I don’t know how you could convey it on camera