So my ex and I dated in high school. February 24th will mark five years since we broke up. We both played hockey growing up, so we knew each other long before we dated, and our families are fairly close. Her family really likes me, and vice versa. Even though I was only a junior in high school at that time we dated, I knew I was in love. I can still vividly remember some great memories with her, like our first date, first kiss, and probably my favorite memory of when we were at my house watching Wipeout, and I was just holding her. I just remember not wanting to let her go (that was also the night of our first kiss, so probably the best night of my life). Every time I remember something we did together, it makes me smile. When we broke up, it wasn’t ugly or anything, we did end on good terms. Over the past five years, I’ve thought about her a lot, some days more than others, and I constantly miss her, and I have to admit, I still love her. I have dreams about us being together again from time to time. We’ve gotten back to talking a few times over the past few years, but nothing came from it, mainly because I never really made a move to try and fix things. Over the past month or so, I’ve really missed her, I’ve dreamt about her a lot recently, and really wish there was something I could do. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could do or anything specific I could say to just start talking regularly again? And I fully understand the whole “It didn’t work before so why would it now?” But I know I’ve changed a lot. After not being with her for so long, I realize I took her for granted. Given another chance, I would be a lot better. I truly believe she is the love of my life, and there have been signs that I think might prove that, but some small signs, probably just coincidences. Is there still hope for me? Or have I just been out of my mind this whole time and I’m just too young to be in love?
Ask her to meet you for coffee or lunch and take it from there.
To be thinking about your ex with this intensity after five years is quite impressive (by lack of a better word). You have to go for it just to give yourself some mental rest on the subject, whether you succeed or fail, it will both be better than this state of limbo, in my opinion. So yea, I agree with patricia12, chat her up through text a little bit, and when it feels somewhat right just ask to meet her for a drink. During the meetup check how you feel about her now that you are actually interacting with her and when it feels right try to keep in contact, meet more and slowly escalate you know.
I do want to point out a risk. I feel like you really idolized this girl by thinking about her all this time. So make sure when you take action you are confident and don’t feel like your world will end if she acts cold or something. Realize she is just a girl among the other 3.5 bil.
About your question on what to say specifically: I think this is not important at all. You have to show guts and establish contact with her again. It’ll even be better if she feels like maybe you want to get back together, what point is there in indirectly denying that? Make her subtly(!) think about that possibility just by starting small talk with her. Just ask her how it is going or say o “this situation” reminded me of you remember that. Don’t think too much about it or you will mess it all up by being in your head so much preparing the perfect thing to say.