Well, I spoke too soon. Now his friend is chatting with me again. Color me confused about everything. But I may have more answers soon, after talking to him.
Okay guys, so new info and I absolutely don’t know what to do. This is extremely time sensitive so any advice is very welcome!
Our mutual friend received a text from my ex today. He asked him if he was going to be hanging out with me tonight, and then asked if it was possible for our friend to arrange it so that we run into each other tonight. He made the comment that the ex from NY “isn’t around, idk what’s happening with her” which tells me not all is well in that department. I also found out that apparently she has told him that since things are so expensive in NY, if it’s gonna work, he’s going to have to pay for everything. His friends are also under the impression she wasn’t that into him and was just going to use him.
What do you think guys? Should I allow this run in to happen or no?
hey, that’s good but not sooo fast! I’m giving you the same advice I’m giving myself. it’s not easy but you shouldn’t give in so easily if he wants you. you aren’t second choice. he should fight for you and you shouldn’t give in like that. you know you want him bak but tell him you need time cause you not sure if you want it and if he wants this either but this is good! I’m happy for you
You are correct… it’s so funny how he went from being legitimately angry that I was in the same area of the city he was to now asking for a situation to be set up so we run into each other. I was actually open to it since it was going to be in a huge group of people rather than just him and I, but it ended up not happening because our mutual friend (and my point of contact) got stuck with work. I wasn’t about to go into the lion’s den alone. It was a little disappointing because I guess I was hoping to get answers, but at least this way my ex gets more time to think about what he wants (as do I), and I get to see where his head’s at. I kind of think he’s going to try again but we’ll see. I think this was also an attempt on his part to try to see where my head’s at as well.
yes I think so too. cause that other girl didn’t work out but just be sure if you. both try again if she comes into the pic he won’t just up and leave again
Well, a huge update, but it’s still confusing. Apparently the reason he wanted me to have my ring back was because he is moving to Florida for a job. According to him he just has to pick which one and it’s a done deal, but some things he says doesn’t make sense. These are: he says he won’t move for a couple of months (those who have moved for work tell me it’s much quicker than that), and our mutual friend asked him “So I hear you’re moving, should we be planning a going away party?” and he responded, “Well, I’m PLANNING on moving.”
So, after finding out about his potential move yesterday afternoon, I did respond to him. He had told our mutual friend that my ignoring him was driving him insane and he texted me what he knew would get a response. Which is another thing that makes me think this move isn’t a done deal. But in case it was, I decided I would lay my cards out and tell him how I feel about him and why he shouldn’t move.
So I met up with our mutual friend and ended up with all of his group of friends. We had a fun evening, but it got late and I was ready to leave. It’s funny, we actually ended up parking our cars beside each other on a very busy night here. Out of all the places, we ended up beside each other. So I got in his car and did it. I really gave it to him about everything he had done to me, but I also told him I love him, including all the bad stuff, and that I want to be with him. I told him to seriously think about it, and to let me know if he wants me too. I told him that we’ll make it work, even if he moves. I did end up crying, and because it was so late I went back to his place and slept there. He held me and comforted me the whole time I cried. We kissed and made out several times (he initiated it each time), but that was it. I don’t regret it, and I’m glad that I was able to say my piece, tell him how I feel, and at least spend one last night with him. Many would have advised against this, but I didn’t feel it was wrong.
It could go either way at this point. Literally in the last 36 hours he wanted to bump into me, then he didn’t, and then he did again. He clearly still has feelings for me. Now it’s up to him to act on them. I’m not planning on contacting him.
hey that’s good that yoy were able to get closure and tell him everything. I think it sounds like you are ready for whatever the next step. I can’t say if it is good or bad. I think as long as your happy and feel good about it then that’s all that matters. I hope it works out really!! if he moves how far is that from where you are
Yeah, I think it was definitely closure for me if it doesn’t work out. All the signs are still there of him still having feelings for me (constantly wanting to see me, trying to show off the results of his gym visits [he seemed jealous that I lost 20 pounds since our breakup in May], said my ignoring him that ONE TIME drove him insane and deliberately said something that he knew would get a response). Like I said, it’s just a matter of him actually getting his s*** together and acting on it
Hey everyone, really quick update! I heard from our mutual friend that my ex had planned on contacting me (apparently he chickened out though) and said he needed to talk to me in person and make a decision. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but him wanting to speak in person has in the past meant he is leaning towards making it work. He is the type to just send a text and say “I don’t think it’s going to work,” which is fine to me as I’d rather not cry again in front of him lol. Sounds like he wants to talk to me before he makes a decision. I guess to figure out any expectations, when I would expect marriage, etc? No idea. Will update once something actually happens.
I hope for the best lol but pace yourself
Okay well, slight development. He texted me tonight and has apparently made a decision, and he gave me the option of talking in person or via text. (The fact that he gave me the option to talk via text scares me and makes me think the worst.) I told him I was surprised to be hearing from him, and how I didn’t think I’d hear from him until after his trip. Well, I told him I think in person would be better either way (closure, I guess, and for me to make sure he really has made up his mind) but we can’t meet tomorrow evening, and he leaves for his trip the next day. So it has to wait until after his trip anyway.
I’m scared, you guys. That he offered the option of talking via text and said afterwards “We can just do this when I get back” doesn’t sound too hopeful to me. But on the other hand, him being ready to “just do this” when he gets back says to me he probably isn’t actually confident in his decision. I don’t know. I just know I’m nervous. Well, at least I have about 10 days to prepare myself.
don’t have a positive or negative expectation. just make sure you will b fine with whatever he says. he could always say he isn’t ready right now which isn’t bad is not rejection but it’s not what yoy want but it’s still neutral which is good
Oh gosh, you guys, I’m rolling with laughter right now. So something told me that he doesn’t have another girl waiting in the wings, so I told our mutual friend I honestly think I’m going to get a non-decision from him. Like “Oh, I’m not ready yet but maybe in a few months” blah blah blah. Well just now I got a text from him and this is how our conversation went:
EX: “I’m actually pissed you said I cheated on you.”
ME: "I’m not talking about this with you in text messages.
EX: “Probably would be better to talk via phone then… I’m at a show so later or whenever.”
ME: “I’m not talking to you if you’re under the influence, either.”
EX: “First off I’m sober.” [middle-finger emoji]
ME: “Lol. Enjoy the show and stop trying to pick a fight with me. Bye”
EX: “Maybe it would be better if you lost my number.”
As you can see, I didn’t respond to that. t can’t deal you guys, this is too funny. What a child to pick a fight with me when he knew I was at work and when he was out supposedly having fun with friends. And me lose his number? He has initiated every contact since I told him I wasn’t going to beg for his attention. I’m guessing his strategy is to make me mad in order to kind of break things off, so this leaves a door open for him. Or maybe its his strategy to get me mad so it closes the door completely. Who knows.
wooow yea I think you’re right. that awesome that you didn’t feed into it tho… did he text you after
I think he still didnt make a decision. Still confused. I feel he doesnt want to lose you though… You did very well by not replying to his last text…
When u meet, pls try to be neutral… Dont show ur emotions. But i think u should heAr him out because he might have really got offended on this cheating issue and have built things on it.
I think u have a big chance of getting back together. He just needs time.
I have not heard from him since this all happened. I don’t even know if we will meet up to be honest, because I just found out he blocked me on Facebook. How adorable. He’s being so immature. I get it if he’s offended, but at this point it’s getting a little ridiculous. The animosity is just perplexing. I find it amusing but I’m also a little upset about it. I get it if I did something unforgivable to you, but I literally did nothing except treat him like a king.
yea time is prolly what you guys need… you’re sooo, way stronger than mii… I admire your self control really… how old are you guys? I’m starting to just give up on thinking of the future and really just living day by day… if I do things and he does things that result in us not getting back then it wasn’t meant to be and that’s why we did the things we did to each other. or it just didn’t work abs there’s not much to it. I’m trying to help and come up with explanations for you but it’s just socks cause there’s isn’t a right one… we don’t know. clearly he cares and you do so what’s the problem right lol I’m so upset for you cause you really are ready to do so much for him and he is kinda being a jerk. . so all you can do is just live your life day by day and whatever happens happens, whatever will be will be at this point… that’s all I got lol sorry
Well, that’s okay @starlight because I just found out he is in Florida on this trip for over a week with the ex from New York. So I am done. As far as I am concerned, I am going to block out all positive thoughts I ever had of him. He doesn’t exist anymore, and in my mind he never truly cared for me. If he were to ever come back and want to be with me, he would have to be a completely different person. He is not capable of a healthy relationship right now. Not only did he play me, but he is playing her, too. If he truly cared for her or me, he wouldn’t have done what he has done these last few weeks. And he wouldn’t have jeopardized potential with her for a night with me. But perhaps I’m naive.
I am devastated and heartbroken and crying, but I also realize I have cried enough over him. It is to the point where all of his friends, even the one who is the hugest player out of all of them, all of his friends say I’m wife material and don’t get why he is doing what he is doing and say he doesn’t really realize what he is doing. They say he doesn’t know what he wants, that he doesn’t have this whole relationship thing figured out yet, but in all honesty it’s too painful for me to wait around for him to figure it out. So from this moment on, I am going to do my best to pretend he doesn’t exist.
He never truly gave me a decision, and I believe he didn’t really actually make one, but his actions in taking this girl to Florida for a week-long vacation tell me all I need to know.
And for our ages, he and I are both 26. But he is acting like he’s 17.
Oh, and I made the mistake of going on her LinkedIn. She has changed her city to the same one he is thinking of moving to in Florida. In other words, I think they were/are planning to move there together. So yeah, I have been 100000% played these last 2 weeks. It’s time for me to move on from him.
our situation is kind of similar. … I feel the same I don’t think your ex and mine are emotional stable to b in a healthy relationship right now. but I don’t think they can be alone well they don’t want to which is sad cause all they are doing is hurting ppl… that’s crazy that he went to Florida with her. . I would say it most likely won’t last but I don’t think you should worry yourself with that. I just stopped like I said earlier om just living my life now. you work on yourself and hopefully he will realize that a relationship won’t fix his problem and work on himself. … I’m just about done with relationships tho I tried to b positive but it’s soo hard maybe we are young and that’s why we still have time anyway… stay strong! ! you are wife material but he isn’t in the mindset to handle that. … I think. . that is what my ex use to say to mii anyway