My ex broke up with me like 3 weeks ago, we were together for 3 years and I must admit I was the reason for the breakup, she loved me but I didn’t have so much feelings for her the way she had for me and then a year ago I moved out of the area and her heart just sank knowing that she won’t see me that often or won’t see me at all, I still didn’t show any emotion even though I knew this, she did so much for me that no one did before, she made me feel really special all the time but still nothing from me and that was strange for me, how could I be so cold, she used to cry all the time at home and even when she called and tried everything to make me feel something for her, she even visited me although I am now like an hour and a half drive away, but 3 weeks ago she had finally given up but now for the strange part, when she had finally given up I started loving her and told her how I felt many times after she left but she said she’s through with us now, I called so many times, I texted her and sent her a long email but still nothing and last week when I visited her, I took flowers which I never did before, I told her how I have changed and if she’d just give me a second chance, I promise not the hurt her again but she cried and said it’s too late. Please give me insight into this as I haven’t spoken to her for 5 days yet she tried contacting me on the 4th day but I ignored her, trying to initiate the 30 day NC… My fear is her saying she meant nothing to me which she did say and I’ll easily move on because I didn’t care all this time anyway, so what do I do from here? Continue NC for another 25 days?
I would continue NC, you need to give her some space, because first she was chasing you then you chase her. You both need some space to rebalance things .
I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this. I second everything that @Maria said.
Change is something that takes work, effort, and time. If you go to someone right after a breakup and say that you have changed, they are not going to believe you. If my ex did that to me there is no way I’d believe a word he said.
Do NC, work on yourself, and when NC is over you’ll both be in a better place. I wish you all the best.
Thanks guys for the response, because I wasn’t talking to her and she can see I am she says ‘Hello, u seem to ignore me on everythg but I just dont understand why. I wantd us to end thgs but I nvr wantd u to stop tawking to me. Everythg I said and did was for u to let me go but it didn’t mean I dont care. You had my heart for 3 years. I’ve becum hard yes but not talking to me, please tell me why???’ … So I guess NC is starting work
Hi guys, yesterday she seemed desperate to talk so offered to speak to her, I broke the NC Rule, she said how much she missed me and she wants me back but then today she said she’s scared and can’t do this, please advice what I should do as I already broke NC so I’m really confused now as to why she’d change her mind within a day
Here is what I think, when you broke NC she got her fix and now she is fine.
I am no brain scientist, but I think the process that someone has to go thru before they come back for good goes like this:
When someone starts to want us back that belief has to be reinforced a over and over in their mind before you talk to them, the time of NC is meant to do that, the more desperate she becomes the more this belief is set in her brain, so because this belief is still weak in her mind, she got her fix and now is back to being unsure. You need to go back to NC and stick to it for 30 days, so that the process takes place.
Thank you Maria, I promise to keep to the NC rule this time
Hi Maria
The 30 day NC period is almost at hand so how do I break NC?
Hey Clint, I think you should do as suggested from Kevin, eather write her a letter or text something easy, like “i was with my friend, we saw ** movie, i remeber when we saw it, it was a great movie”…or some=) I think she will come back. That is because she needed you all this time, fighted for you while u were cold, if you dont want to loose here, never ever take her for granted. Comunicate with her, me self critical with what you put on the table.
For me, i have been like your girl, but my bf comes with exuses, like we arguing alot, and so on, instead of dealing with the real problem. We were together for 4 years. He now said that he doesnt feel the same for me, and i have been like your girl, taken for granted. i should have done like her, but i thought he would come around. He already dates a girl, just a new random that he bearly know. Sucks…
You will have your girl back, i do think so, but it has to be better from you this time, and i think you will since u understand your falws now=) Good luck!!
be self critical*
If she left you because it seemed like you didn’t care, why would she come back to you if you ignored her? I wouldn’t.
I see why no contact is good for most situations but in this one I would go with what Hells said. And keeping low contact when she initiates but trying to keep talks light and not begging for her back Etc.
I just have to text this. I cant keep it in.
You are lucky to have someone who treats you like you’re special. That loves you so much that even when you show no love for her, she sticks around. Maybe she has codependency issues or maybe she doesnt believe she can get better… but sir… you need to straighten up. People would love to have a girl like that. If you really dont love her and this is all because ‘ppl want what they cant have’, or if there’s no balance in the relationship…then let her go for good.
And dont do it because you dont think youll get someone as loving and someone that will keep chasing you to boost your ego aside from her. Go after her if YOU REALLY LOVE HER.
I know I sound like an asshole, but man… She sounds great. Get her back and treat her with love and respect.
Thanks guys for the replies, I really appreciate them. God Bless!
LAbound, I guess I didn’t commit fully to her because of past hurt that I experienced in my previous relationship for 5 years… I know this is not an excuse anymore therefore I WILL GET HER BACK!
Damn right you will. 
Dont let past pain ruin a potentially beautiful life.
I have faith youll get her back. Good luck man.
Agreed, start with light contact and go from there!
LAbound I am you make me laugh sometimes! lol
Whats up right now i am going through yhe exact same thing bit only difference is i think shes on a rebound relationship but anyway she gave me her love and i ignored it and now its gone and guess what i miss? Been through women but damn this girl is craazy but she is saying its too late and all that shes in another relationship but she said she would be hated if she called it off but also said she liked him, i think she is scared to love me again i said goodbye and kissed her on the cheek but i could tell she wanted to kiss but what should i do, i told her i am aware what i did she didnt deserve im sorry and want a second chance.