my ex broke up with me a month ago after almost 2 years spent together. I did first two steps of the plan, now I’m on the third one - focusing on myself - and I think I’ll be ready for the fourth step soon. But… he moved abroad (in March already), that means I can text him, but I can’t meet him.
My question is: how can I show him that my “old” confident self is back again? I’ve deleted him on my FB, I can’t meet him, is there any other chance to prove him I’m not needy? How can I get him back when he is 2000 km far away?
He is really far away so you can’t have a normal relationship. If he broke up with you and moved away, why do you think he is going to want to get back just to go into a long distance relationship? If you want to prove you aren’t needy I think you need to let go, move on, and if you are right for each other you’ll meet again in the future and maybe things will evolve again
BUT, I am not into long distance at all. Maybe someone that has made it work that way somehow, can advise you better. How old are you if I might ask? Is there a chance he will be back in the mid future or you too could live in the same country at all?
My ex and I have always been long distant(more than a year). We broke up 3 months ago because of something horrible I did and we will still remain long distant for a year now.
Your case is little tough because I am assuming you two didnt breakup on a positive note (given the fact you deleted him on fb which makes things even tougher). I can only speak for myself. We brokeup but are still best friends. That wasn’t my choice (i want us to reconcile) but with a heavy heart I respect his choice. In our case he has trust issues with me so despite being long distant the only way I am trying to show him that I am trustworthy is by being open and honest. We stay in touch throughout the day but I try my best to never be the one to initiate the contact myself(to not appear desperate for reconciliation). Since we are long distant,we try to connect through words. We at times have skype sessions when he expresses his desire to see me (which happens only we feel connected with our talks).That gives me the chance to look good and sexy and him the chance to compliment me. He flirts and we express our affection that way. Out situation is just too emotionally complex so our progress has been slow and mercurial but still bit hopeful so far.
Again,our situation and reasons for breakup might be very very different but I personally feel its important to stay in touch with an ex even if not much. At least that leaves room for him to see the changes in you and connect with you. Make yourself little approachable. Just my two cents xxx
to Kaila: I’m 27, he is 26. Well, we’ve got through quite difficult time in the country we have been living together (school, stressful jobs etc.). He decided to move to another country because of the job. I couldn’t go there cos I’m finishing my university study now and he didn’t even say he wanted me there after study. All we (mostly he) said was: “We will see”. With or without him, I was planning a long time ago, that after study I’ll go abroad. After visiting him for a week in the new country I was planning to move there in September, too, but I didn’t say him anything, cos I saw he is not sure about us as he wasn’t sure even before moving there. We’ve been in a long distance relationship since March, but a month ago he told me he is meeting a girl and he just can’t give me what I want (I don’t know what he meant about it). He wanted us to stay friends, cos I’m still an important person in his life as he said. But I didn’t want to, cos I needed (and still need) to focus on my study, on me and my future not on his FB and on hoping and so on (yes I hope now but less than if we are in a contact, I’ve already been in the similar situation with another ex) - thats why I’ve deleted him. And also because he fell me down cos he started meeting a girl before telling me what he felt about our relationship… If he hadn’t showed me before how he can love me, and if he wasn’t have what I was looking for with every ex-boyfriend before him, I would let it go. But he is a person I am looking for. Yes,he cheated in some way and I see it. But I don’t wanna give up on him, cos he is still a special one for me.
I know, he is the one now who should fight for us, if he miss me, but I think he knows I was addicted to him in some way. And I was, cos I really believed he is the one. I believed we just need time to solve our situations, to think about what we want. He’s made the decision and I feel like it was because he felt I am a needy girlfriend now. The rational part of me says, if he loves you and he just needed time to find it out, he must do something for it, not you this time. But my hopeful part says don’t give up, show him you still are the same confident person as you were when you met each other, you needed time to think about what happened about what you really want and you want a person like he is.
We should believe in out dreams, hope for them, or not in this situation? It is already a month without him, I am meeting (just meeting) an old friend now to find out if I really want my ex back. I use to fight until it’s over, and I don’t feel now like it’s completely over, isn’t it…
