First off, if you are just starting NC and having trouble…keep going, it’s not that hard. Just believe in yourself and think you’re doing better than her. Focus and follow through.
Having said that I went the 30 days, some minor social media stalking but she did the same. I know it.
Ironically enough on day 30 I sent a letter for thanking her, agreeing and telling her how well I’m doing. 40 minutes after I put the letter in the mailbox she texts me when Can I come get my stuff back, lol. After being a pro, (I started the gym-began a new job-sought out therapy,) I went back to my old way and feel like I threw it all away…
Basically instead of letting her know I could come by after the holiday, we both turned it into a 4 hour text Marathon. My only question now being did we do it cause we weren’t ready for the games and am I really just too nice and want someone to either come back or be done.
Anywho the jist of it is she tells me she’s having minor kidney troubles with hospital visits… I ask why she couldn’t have told me and she began the downfall. “It wasn’t right to tell you, I hope the best for you, hope you get what you’re looking for, I’m sorry I dragged the relationship on when I really wasn’t into it…I met someone new” etc
Now, I’m not worried about this guy. He’s much older, albeit more successful at life, he’s got kids already and I don’t believe it’s in her to him being the one, so I said good luck and I hope it works out, I’m happy for you. She says she’s ready and we didn’t have the “depth” she was seeking and maybe found.
rather than just let her get off on herself and let me be mysterious I let her know my good things but I’m worried if I came off as desperate in a sense…I let her know I got the new job I was wanting, let her know I’m not involved with my same circle of friends, let her know I got therapy and have been at the gym 6 times a week and loving it.
I don’t play games well, even for someone who crushed No Contact. I truly care about her, would love her back, and she obviously still knows it now. We haven’t spoken since, she’s not with him for the holiday-she’s taking a solo trip to the mountains. I feel if I were mysterious this would be a time she would’ve opened up to me and possibly began the rekindle phase. Now we know each other’s stuff and if she’s not impressed enough she’s going to be gone as we approach day 40-50 when they start to fade.
Did I rush it? Did I fail? Or were we just not ready and better off anyway…like I said she found older and kinda done with life, haha. I want younger and ready for the adventure…
Wondering if it’ll just let her go and she won’t come back cause it’s not a challenge, or maybe she’ll want to reconcile when we exchange our belongings.
On this thanksgiving I’m thankful for our time spent and thankful for your opinions.
Best of luck to anyone who needs help during NC. I promise I’m an over-thinker and I did just fine and you will too.
Focus on YOU.
Thank y’all