My girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago. I never saw it coming. I thought we got along so well. We never fought and she seemed happy. But the day our relationship ended she told me that, although she thought I was a wonderful, she just didn’t have the depth of love for me she was looking for. In hindsight I see I made the error of becoming complacent and didn’t nurture the romance sufficiently.
I was in a state of shock for the first month. Like many folks here, I reached out, asked her to reconsider and come back. Over the first couple of weeks we sometimes talked in person or via email, but she became increasingly frustrated by my clinginess. I didn’t discover the 5 Step Plan until the third month after the breakup. I wish I had known about it sooner. Anyway, I did no contact for about 50 days. It was tough. When I did eventually decide to reach out to her again, I made a critical mistake of asking her best friend for advice on approaching my ex. Of course this got back to my ex so when I reached out to her I was rebuffed. My ex emailed me to say she was upset that I had been reaching out to her friends to talk about our relationship, to let it go, and that she would never have the feelings it takes to pursue a long term relationship with me. She said she hoped we could one day become friends but that she needed time and space, to not force things and just let our friendship grow naturally. I sent her a light, breezy email a month later but this only upset her further. She told me she was frustrated by my not respecting her wishes for space, to stop contacting her, and that she would reach out to me when she felt ready.
I still want my ex back. But my present dilemma is that I have no way of having her experience my new, improved self since she’s not willing to see me. And every passing day I fear she will meet someone new and my opportunity to win her back will be lost. It’s so frustrating to not have any options. Has anyone else here had this experience? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.