Hi, My boyfriend and I met 7 years ago. We moved in together a year later. He was in a rocky relationship before meeting me. It ended when his ex had him falsely arrested for domestic abuse. After 2 years the charges were finally dropped and we were living together in that time. I feel our relationship was special. We did everything together and he treated me like no other guy ever did. He fell in love with me and he told me so. No man had ever told me that and I felt like I had the one man that I would some day marry. What I didn’t know was we were losing that intimacy connection. I feel that he was always torn between me and having a relationship with his kids. His ex made sure of it. She didn’t allow him to see them when he wanted. She would arrange a day for him to see them and at the last minute she would cancel. In the summer she would take them to Florida when they have more time to see their father only thing he’s here in NYC. They was so much drama with his past life. I feel that took away from us but I was so good and understanding. I never tried to interfere. I found out later that he tried to avoid going there as much as possible because she was seducing him back to her.
Anyway, the problem started when I finally met his kids a little over a year ago. He felt it was only fair that they meet me since they had relationships with all her 7+ boyfriends and 2 lived with them. So the kids agreed to meet me and he had to sneak them over one day that the mom was at work. We hit it off well. They loved me because Im good with kids. Of course mom found out and she was livid. I guess at that point she did everything in her power to get my man back and in her house. 4 months later he walked out on me without a word. I came home from work and he was gone. At first I was confused. It was like a bad dream. He left a note:“My Dear…I’m so sorry to hurt you. You are such a wonderful person. My heart is heavy with pain but I feel I must do what is in my best interest. You have been such a good friend to me. I thank you for everything. I’m so sorry, Love …” I was confused because the day before was so wonderful and we made love to top off the evening. He had went back to his ex. That was the last place I thought he would be. He came over the next day in tears. I never saw a man cry the way this man did. he was so remorseful and the next day he was back home because he didn’t realize how much he loved me. If I had the knowledge I’m getting now we would probably sill be together but instead I was on watch mode and trying to get him to do things differently so it won’t happen again.
i wanted us to go out like we use to. I wanted to do new things but he wasn’t interested and we went back to the same routine with his friend coming over almost everyday. Then about 4 months in he moved out of the bedroom and onto the couch complaining about back issues. This went on for about 4 months and he disappeared for the second time. This time no note just and empty closet and his side of the room like a ghost. This time I was angry because of his treatment of me. It was like a rollercoaster for 4 four months. Loving him, hating him, loving him again, he giving mixed messages and so on. So I’m on my 3rd day of NC with him. I found this program just a day ago and I was convinced that what I already decided to do was the right thing. His birthday is tomorrow. I had this big speech i was going to text him. I was going to remind him of his first birthday we spent together. It was so special but since i came across this program I made another decision to not say a word. I’m on my 3rd day and don’t want to start over. This hurts a lot because, lord help me, I love him so much.