This would be a bit long please bear with me, it’s my first post on ANYWHERE about my situation, so hi! 
My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We were together for a year and were childhood friends.
His reason for the breakup was that he felt like he has fallen out of love with me and he loves me, but as a friend. This made me feel really hopeless about the situation, but some things he did still make me feel that he hasn’t lost feelings for me… not completely, at least.
I think this is all due to the fact that I lost myself in the relationship. I didn’t center my energy on myself and instead, kept focusing on him and wanting him to meet me more/do more things for me. I became terribly clingy and needy and pushy, all without realising it.
Our relationship started off really well, but at the 7th month mark we started arguing more and more and I could feel him distancing himself, which made me panic and cling on more to him. I did not know how to handle the situation then and right now I wish I found out earlier.
My ex and I were on good terms after the breakup. We decided to remain friends (which progressed into fwb, but we decided that being FWBs may not be a good thing for us), and I ended up going for his hobby class as he was encouraging me to go for it before the breakup but I had prior events.
We did talk about the breakup, and to sum it up he said “Once bitten, twice shy. You’ve hurt me once, and even if you’ve changed - which you have, you’ve got your life in control now and you seem to be more independent, how am I to be so sure you won’t ever hurt me again? You may not hurt me, but you definitely have the ability to.”
And I tried telling him that I was willing to work on this relationship, and that I wanted to take things slow and date him again cuz at that point of time, I felt we already were dating. He admitted that he felt we were slightly more than friends, but yet he didn’t want to call it dating.
“Do what you want and try what you want, but in the end you do realise that whether or not my mind changes, will be up to me.”
“Give me time to forget all the bad of the relationship. It’s still the most vivid thing in my mind. I promise you I’ll try to forget it, but till then, give me time.”
Everything was good since then, but I get mixed signals from him. He’s hot (acting like he’s still with me, caring and looking out for me and getting somewhat jealous when this other guy in the class plays and jokes around with me. The people in our class thinks we’re together because we act like bf and gf) then he’s cold the next (now). And when he became cold recently, I wasn’t used to it and I suddenly went all emotional and needy towards him. He stopped replying all my text messages and hasn’t answered my calls.
I’ve calmed down a lot now and composed myself (also understanding that I should give him space for now and not text him anymore). I figured that he has been busy the past few weeks as he is just starting university and was busy with moving and all his university activities, and I felt bad that I texted him over and over again when he said he was busy (I got agitated when he kept checking his phone and Facebook but wouldn’t reply me, which I truly regret now).
I would love some advice on the situation as I want to get him back, but I know that for now I need to work on controlling my emotions and also giving him space. I have already accepted that the old relationship has failed, which is why I would love to start something new with him again.
Thanks!
