I have been in a relationship with my ex for a mere 5 months. But in that short period we became really close, talked about marriage and made plans about the future. We are both in our mid 20s. He rushed things while I tried to slow the train down because I carried some baggage from the past and was going thru a rather stressful period in my life. I had problems with jelaousy and passive aggresiveness and my pettiness lead to multiple fights. After he had left me for the first time because of those reasons, we got back together after a few days without really solving anything. I promised I would work on myself but it could not happen over night and he left me again after a month saying he couldnt take it anymore and that he "loves me but is not in love with me any more". I tried to accept the break up gracefully but I couldnt. I initiated further contacts with him and we mostly fought but niether of us mentioned getting back together. He told me he needed space but I just wouldnt listen. But he responded back to my texts with even longer texts and we actually spent a night together after the break up. In the meantime, I met someone else and went on a few dates with him. I did not really like him but I tried to move on. Ive told my exs about him cuz I sincerely thought he didnt care based on his words and behaviour towrads me. After Ive told him, he got really upset, told me I have broken him to pieces and ended any contact with me. I felt guilty, but mostly confused so I reached out numerous times (the texts where rather pathetic), even tried to see him but to no avail. In the meantime, I broke it off with the new guy, went to see a therapist, too up painting, writing, exercising and was really determined to work on myself. I have contaced him with an apology and told him all of the above and to my suprise, he text back with a short novel. We texted and argued for the next two days and he told me all of the crazy stuff he has gotten himself into (like beating up two guys who were talking shit about me) and I realized I have hurt him really bad. Eventually, he called me and we talked for two hours and went thru every single aspect of our relationship. He asked me severeal times if I wanted to get back together, to which I replied ambiguously. He admitted that he overreacting about some things that I have I done and we ended up on positive note. He did not really want to know what was happening in my life and just asked me if he could contact me once hes over me. I said that I dont really see the point of it but ok. That was two weeks ago ( we broke up almost three months ago). I will follow the no contact rule easily since I deleted him from social media and deleted his number. I still miss him and want him to text but I dont know whether I want it for the right reasons. A part of me wants him back, a part of me is still hurt and very angry because of his actions. I would be grateful for any advice. Thanks!
@Mat0801 - Wow, so many arguments in a few short months. I’m glad you’re seeing a therapist, but you really should not be dating until you work through your issues. Don’t contact the ex until you are much more stable! And most likely it will take several months, but you will be better able to handle a relationship and it will be a happier one for both persons. Continue no contact and good luck.
Thank you Patricia. Yes, we did fight a lot and we were both to blame for it because ha has a lot of issues as well ( had a rough childhood) and he wont admit to most of them. Neither of us was strong enough to be in that relationship and thats why things spiraled so quickly. We were mad about each other but fought all the time. I am doing much better. I am single and will remain such until I take care of my other issues. Once I do that, I think I will be over the whole thing. Because a part of me knows that even the best version of ourselves bring out the worst in the other. Time will tell but with each day I just feel that we shouldn`t be together, although I miss him and have feelings for him.
@Mat0801 - I’m glad you have an understanding of the situation. You two were not a good match and you need help with your own issues. I wish you the best of luck in life:)