Should I Give Up?

Long story short-- my ex bf broke up with me about a week before thanksgiving. We were together 5 years and were eachothers first for everything. We had a great relationship, but towards the end he started saying he needed to figure out who he was as an individual. He kept saying the breakup would be better for us in the long run, that he still loved me more than anything, and if we ever wanted to work out in the future, this needed to happen. I didn’t really text him or reach out to him at all until a couple of weeks passed and I texted him just saying that I was checking in to see how he was doing/if he had a good christmas. He took like 10 hours to reply and it was a super short one so I sent something along the lines of “sorry if I bothered you” and he said that it wasn’t a bother but he had spent a lot of time trying to get over me, and talking to me again would just reverse everything. I told him I was sorry it had to be like that, and that I wouldn’t reach out again because I want to respect his decision, but I’m here if he every wants to talk or catch up.

It’s been about 3 months since we’ve broken up, and about a month since we’ve last spoken to eachother. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all and now I feel like I can’t contact him because I said I would respect his decision. I’m just confused because they way we left things he made me feel like we were for sure getting back together at some point. I have been talking to one or two guys casually, but I still think about my ex non-stop. I am still so in love with him and still see my future with him. Should I just leave it alone and stop trying?

Hello Jen0404!

I think the best you can do to not tey to reaching out for some time… you need to know for how long. I think he is confused. You said you were each others first… I don’t know how old are you guys, but most of the time, especially with guys in this situation they feel like they not tried other “options” with other, they feel stucked. You know what I mean? So you have to give him time and space to figure out what he wants, after that try to reach out to him, and say that you really need to know what he wants fron you, because you want to make things work or just move on. Listen to your gut feelings, wish you luck!

“…he started saying he needed to figure out who he was as an individual.” This isn’t a good reason to break up with someone he supposedly loves. He might want to date other girl for comparison.

You could wait for him to contact you or contact him every few months to check on how things are going for him. It might take many months or years for him to figure out what he is, so continue talking and dating other guys.