Should I give ex back program a try?

reconciliation
21

I talked with her few days ago and she said that she is so good and happy and all that stuff. I really didnt believe,that she got over me so quickly. I get along with her brother a lot and even he said,that he doesnt believe,that she is like that. I told him if she ever asks something about me,he doesnt know anything.

She said,that she doesnt want to even be friends with me anymore. I understood and stopped all contact with her. I removed her from social media,deleted all of our pics on my phone etc. I read,that completely dissapearing from exes life sometimes opens up her eyes and shows her that breakup wasnt that good of idea after all.

Until then I will focus only on myself and try to move on with my life. If she contacts me and i can see,that she really wants to be together again,then I will be really skeptical about it all,and if I can feel,that she just wants to get back together,because she misses me and feels empty without me I’ll just try my hardest to not accept her request. I will not stay waiting until she writes me tho.

22

Are you seeing a therapist yet; about your anger issues?

23

I have time on 22. January,but they will look,of they can get time for me before that

24

The way she has been acting has left me with a feeling that she is not that afraid of me. Of course,the way I acted was wrong and i want to change myself, but i think that,the real reason she broke up with me was because we were not really talking if we had problems and stuff. We didnt allow eachother to talk with people we dont like and stuff. We both wanted to change other person instead of accepting them as they are. Everything felt so forced. Even the close people I told this thought same. If she really fears me so much that she tells me she is,she wouldve broken up with me long time ago and wouldnt given me another chance aswell. I am just so confused about it all.

She even admitted the last day we spoke,that she felt that everything was working aswell, but she didnt want to wait.

At one moment I dont feel anything negative but the next moment i feel so heartbroken. I want to believe,that I am trying to get over her,but I am afraid,that in the inside im still waiting her to write me. What should i do to get rid of such mindset. I see her pretty much every night in my dreams with someone else and that wakes me up with negative emotions.

25

For a long time, she probably thought you would change, but you didn’t and she probably gave up. Stop obsessing about her. If you catch yourself thinking about her, do something and divert your thoughts to something else. School will be starting (if it hasn’t already) and you need to focus on your studies and get good grades.

26

Yeah,she told me, that we had tried so many times to make things work but nothing didnt seem to work. Then i told her,that if we both tried,things worked and she didnt deny it. I read some article about relationship psychology and there was written,that this “freedom” feeling could be temprorary and soon she will start to miss me or smh. Me and her brother also noticed,that she has started to say curse words, A LOT. When we were together the way she spoke was really nice and every time she cursed she said sorry or oops… she even got mad at me,when i cursed while being together.

My mind tells me to move on and not to think about her anymore,but my feelings tell to wait,maybe she will come back.

I have some of her things in my place. She was supposed to pick them up yesterday,but “forgot”. Every time we had these arguments and fake breakups she wanted them back as soon as possible, but now it seems she really doesn’t care about them. She got along with my mother really good and she was supposed to give my ex items back to her. Why would she want to waste time with picking up her stuff, if she is so so sure,that she doesnt want to be with me? My mother is going to her town to give her stuff back today. She told, that maybe reality is starting to hit my ex or she is confused if it was right decision and she just wants time to make up her mind about that.

I really hope,that school can blow thoughts of her away,for most part atleast.

27

Yesterday,when my mother went to gave her her stuff she looked really strange. Her face looked really white and she didnt seem to be happiest. She hugged my mother twice. When mother told her,that I will be okay and its a lesson for all of us,she turned away,like she wanted to start crying. She told,that she wants to stay really close with my mother and that she(my mom) is a very good person. I was actually shocked,when i heard this.

Second shocking thing, that happened was with my best friend and my ex. My friend sent a random snap to her and she replied with “living my best life” my friend said,that he doesnt do that well and she gave him a tip to tell everyone,that bring you down to f*** off. She has never been like this. She has always been really nice to everyone,she rarely cursed etc. I am actually worried about her.

28

You are trying to read something into gestures, but that doesn’t mean much. Sorry to be blunt, but your ex is none of your concern anymore. She has a right to live her own life…

Get into therapy and focus on getting good grades in school…

29

She had a manner to force her feelings down and I am just afraid,that she is doing it now aswell. She acted like this about 3 years ago,when she was as lost as I am right now. She told me that, if we started talking,that she had nobody in her life,that she could speak about everything. I am just very worried about her. I try not to think about it,but it’s just too hard.

30

Everything has been good for last few days. I have tried to keep my emotions under control and it has been mostly successful. I have so much more apetite,dont have nightmares anymore and feel strong again while working out. Everything has been good except for one thing. My ex sent me a snap yesterday. It was white picture with text “If you dont fight for what you want,then dont cry when you lost it”. It hit me quite hard and now every second thought is about her again. We have not talked a single word for about week and half now and she sends me this snap. Could it be a sign for me to contact her or something?

31

Might be a sign, but it’s immature. Are you in therapy yet?

Glad your appetite is better and you don’t have bad dreams…

32

Im not going to react to her “signals” just yet. Going to wait for more obvious one. And im going to find out today,when I will have therapy.

33

I have been feeling completely lost yesterday and today. I just can’t think of anything else than her. Even though i removed her from everywhere I still check her profile few times a day no matter how hard I try.

She has been sending me snaps with texts like “is this life paradise”. Yesterday she also sent a few snaps about random memories of her. One snap was chat with somebody and there was a nickname I called her when we just got together. There was also 2016,the year we got together. I know these doesn’t mean much but i can’t stop overthinking. I would want to remove her from my snap,but I am afraid she wont reach out. What should I do?

34

Literally everything reminds me of her or things we have done together. I feel, that it isn’t easy for her either. She snaps me every time she is with her friends. When we were together she rarely went out with her friends. Also she has been studying a lot lately. I read that,it’s a sign,that ex is trying to keep mind busy with everything else except the previous relationship. Might just be me overthinking,but I think she is struggling aswell.

Every time i write here, I feel a weird relief and I feel much better,than before.

35

You’re obsessing about her and that’s not good for your own mental health. Controlling yourself isn’t easy, but you should be able to do it by distraction and determination.

Yes, remove her from your snap. Have you started therapy yet?

36

Should I tell her, that I will remove her or just go for it? I have therapy session next week.

37

I removed her few days ago,wrote her,that i think it’s best if we dont snap anymore,wished her good luck with her life and studies and then removed her. She responded with just okay. It’s was all cool until same day evening and what I see,snap from her. Same happened today. She can see,that I removed her n stuff but she still keeps sending me daily pictures. I am so confused. My mother thought she is trying to get my attention with that or she is starting to regret the decisions she made.

I have stopped the habit of regulary thinking about her. I Also dont feel the need to stalk her on social media anymore. I talked about it with some of my closer friends and they told me their stories about their breakups etc. They had much worse situations. They really opened my eyes and brought me back to reality.

Got time for therapy next Tuesday. Really looking forward to it aswell.

38

Had therapy today and they said, that my anger issues came from the stress, that my old relationship was bringing. I dont have to go back there. I haven’t felt that good for a long time. I get along with everyone. I have almost 0 problems with anger and whats most important, I have conpletely moved on from my ex. She wrote my mother yesterday to know,how I was doing. My mom just told Im doing good. She stopped sending snaps to me few days ago. I am seeing some nee people also. I very rarely think about her

Thank you for all the support :slight_smile: It really helped me get through some tough times.

39

I though that i had moved on and all, but last week has been really hard, even though i haven’t seen her for like 2 weeks. I saw her at school break,when i had volleyball session, she came with her friends all the way from her town. I knew, that she had played it when she was smaller, but had to quit due to knee problems. It was really awkward. We both just looked eachother the whole session. We didnt talk or anything. I dont know about her, but i felt really insecure. I also found out, that one of her friend has been trying to get information about me through my classmates.

She has also written to my mother in February few times, that she doesn’t miss me, but it is really hard for her and she is still mad at me. Once she wrote my mother, that she started crying while watching tv with her mother, so she told the whole story to her mother and it made her feel much better. It has been quiet since then. My mother is friends with her on facebook and she told me, that she saw my ex share an article about not pushing feelings down or something like that. I really didnt care about that, but this week, i have started to really analize and think all the things, that have happened. Why would she share something like that, when she clearly told me that she will do anything to push her feelings down towards me. Everything happened few weeks ago.

Last time I actually talked with her was in snap. I told her in January to remove eachother and stuff. She kept snapping every day until i told her brother about it, after that it was quiet for about 2 weeks. I thought, that it is over and she had removed me (i removed her, when i asked her to do same), but nope, I was still there. On one day, when she had just chatted with my mother and the fb conversation ended she sent me a snap. I really didnt know how to react so i asked her, why? I told u tp remove me weeks ago, why do u still have me added,when u told me that u dont want to ever see me or hear anything about me. She replied with in snap i dont care, i just dont want to see u face to face.

There has been few more “incidents” with her, but those are minor. Why would she act like this? Should’ve i contacted her, when she was doing all this circus? I haven’t tried to contact with her in any way and have only focused on personal growth. I have feel, that it mighr be too late. I am also sure, that she wouldn’t in any circumstance contact me first.

40

I hope you’ve resolved or improved on your anger issues with the therapy! You’re both very young and she is just behaving like a childish person typical for her age. It’s been 6 months since the breakup so I had hoped your feelings would be strong in moving on. Maybe someday in the future when you’re both older, you could have a mature happy stable relationship, but for now, just do the best you can in school and focus on yourself and think about your future career possibilities.