Hey Emily, any news on your situation?
Yeah haha any news??
Hey supertedwin, Leslie,
Thanks for following-up 
No news from my ex I’m afraid… but at the same time we wished each other a nice week which implied we would not be in touch during the week… In theory I can reach out to her this weekend however some close friends have advised me to wait and see for another week if she doesn’t contact me by Sunday night… Their rationale is as follows: (i) I have contacted her so she knows I want to be in touch with her and is happy about it however (ii) she is a very slow burner so I need to act friendly but appear to be detached at the same time otherwise I will scare her away again.
She is defo reserved and hard work 
but so sweet and giggly :-). I find it hard at times but I am doing ok… I was out of touch with her for 3 months and got used to it so…
Will take at your most recent updates guys when I am back home!
Emily.
Guys,
I was wondering why I have been feeling so anxious in the morning over the past week and why I started gradually feeling better over the course of the day. I think it’s because I have been having dreams/nightmares about my ex since I contacted her. Basically I usually never remember my dreams when I wake up, they only leave a slight trace of happiness or discomfort depending on whether it was a nice dream or awful nightmare.
But this morning when I woke up I could remember everything I dreamt of and it felt really unpleasant and still does. I think this is where the anxiety comes from. Is there a technique/way to prevent this from happening? Right now I am really struggling not to text my ex.
I haven’t dreamed for five weeks now probably because I’ve hardly slept, but before my saga began if I was having a bad dream I used to be able to tell myself in the dream that it wasn’t real, I’m not sure how but it worked for me.
Try googling “controlling bad dreams”
Now if that seems like to much I’d suggest having some positive affirmations next to your bed, ones that relate to how you feel about your ex, reach for them the moment you wake to give your self a positive boost and put a smile on your face.
Thanks for your advice, I will take a look. Feeling a bit better already, going to meet up with some friends now…
What do you think about whether I should wait until next weekend to contact her again is she does not initiate contact by tomorrow night? It feels so hard not to…
Remind me how long its been since your last contact?
Last text I received from her was last Sunday so nearly a week. I know it’s been long enough but feels wrong at the same time
I’d wait until tomorrow (otherwise it looks like your doing nothing on a Saturday night) and then throw out another casual “hey, hows it going” message and then gage the reply, if you get chatting casually suggest a catch up somewhere like a coffee house,keep things slow and steady and you’ll be fine.
Good luck if you decide to contact her tonight.
Thought I would post an update as I contacted her yesterday morning.
So I basically responded to the last message she sent me a week ago and she INSTANTLY replied. We then exchanged no less than 80-90 text messages throughout the day, every 5-10 minutes on average. We talked about everything and nothing, caught up on what we had been doing in the summer, made loads of jokes (I burst out laughing once or twice when reading her replies). I managed to subtly remind her of a place I took her out on a date and she said she loved it. At some point she made a comment on a French expression I taught her and said she had used it recently in her classroom, which I thought was very sweet.
No subtext, no real banter this time but the conversation flow is amazing. I did not suggest to meet up because the opportunity did not arise during the convo and at this point I think it’s best to stick to fun and sweet texting. Her guard is down but remember, she is a very slow-burner and broke up with me because she was struggling with her orientation (probably still is) and I unintentionally put pressure on her. Ideally I would like her to feel comfortable enough to suggest to meet up so that she thinks it’s her idea, not mine. That being said, I will give it another week or two and if she does not say anything then I will take a chance.
Told her I was going to a wedding last night, she sent the last joke but I did not see her message until very late because I was already busy dancing. Hopefully she will initiate contact with me today to ask me about the wedding but. Alternatively I can reply to her joke later on today but it’s only been one day since we last texted and I want to avoid getting over-excited!
Long story short I think things are going well. Still too early to figure out whether anything beyond friendship is possible but at the same time, would you send 40-50 text messages in one day to someone you only see as a friend??
This is fantastic news, there is definitely something still there especially with the amount of messages sent, its all very encouraging and your playing it cool which is great, well done, you have put a smile on my face
Thanks Ed for your support! Glad to read I put a smile on your face!
A friend played the devil’s advocate yesterday and said “50 silly messages don’t mean a thing”. I can see why she did it - to warn me not to keep my hopes too high at this stage because nothing concrete has happened and she has not given me any signs we would date again in the near future. Which is true.
Last night I contacted her again and we had a nice text convo - not as fluid and funny as on Sunday but we kept replying to each other’s messages until we wished each other good night. The thought of most probably being the last person she talked to before going to sleep is a nice one.
Since I have initiated contact over the past two days (but in each case by replying to a text message she had sent previously) I will try not to contact her until she does - hopefully this weekend!
5-10 messages might not mean anything but the amount your talking about there must be something there, there is no way I would engage in that amount of texting if I wasn’t interested.
Your friend is right about not getting your hopes too high but there is definitely hope there, carry on playing it cool as you have been. Personally I would only leave it a few days rather than till the end of the week to contact again as your now into a new stage and she is aware of your presence again and has been enjoying your communication, she may be a slow burner but I would start to wonder after a week.
Exactly, would not send 50 messages per day even to my best friend. Last night was another c. 25 messages each over the course of 5 hours. What do you mean by “she may be a slow burner but I would start to wonder after a week”? Do you mean she is not that slow after all?
Sorry I didn’t mean to confuse you I was just using your words, I just meant that after the amount of communication you have just had it might seem strange that you suddenly stop for 4 or 5 days, which may confuse her as she has been receptive to the amount of communication so far, leave her hanging and wondering for a bit but not to long.
I hope that makes a bit more sense.
Yep it does make sense. However she knows I am very busy these days and have to work long hours. And I really would like her to make the effort to initiate contact otherwise I will feel like I am being pushy again.
Fair enough, you know how to handle it best, keep us posted, I’ve still got my fingers crossed for you
So she contacted me last night by text message and asked me a question about a comment her students had made. That put a smile on my face. We had a text convo until 11pm - again about 100 (mostly short and funny) messages. She was very funny as usual and she teased me a lot (with no subtext, that’s not her style), to the point I found it difficult to refrain from being flirtatious.
Now my hopes are getting higher, and even though there is no subtext and it’s all banter and fun, I hope she knows what she is doing as the level and amount of communication are pretty much the same as when we were dating. Anyway, since we have been in touch every day over the past 3 days and she reached out yesterday I will contact her tonight - I already have a text message in mind. I will try to figure out in a subtle way what she is up to this weekend and see if I feel like popping the “shall we have drinks on Sunday?” question.
Wow, talk about going from strength to strength, It’s great she contacted you first.
I’ve got high hopes for you,there’s not much more I can say at the moment apart from your doing great.
Slow and steady wins the race