Ok… I first saw my ex 3 years ago and instantly thought… she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but she’s way out of my league…so about two weeks later I was out hanging with my friends at a local restaurant/bar and she came in and sat at our table… I didn’t know she was coming she was meeting them there… well we all hung out a few hours and had a blast but I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask her out,so I was about to leave and she asked me to stay so I did and I got her number…we then started seeing each other and immediately we were head over heels for each other and started dating,then moved in with each other and lived together for two years and most days were just incredible… she was my best friend and loved me…we talked about marriage and I was like is this a dream… this can’t be happening… I was very insecure and always thought she’d find someone else… I’m such a dumbass… well anyway the first year was unbelievable and most of the second but sometimes when I drank I would get really pissed off over nothing and we’d argue…then… make up…then we broke up a few times but always got back together… but we broke up for the last time 8 months ago… haven’t done n/c…we still talk some and have hung out a few times but she says we’re never getting back together but she says she’s my best friend and has never been closer to any man and that she loves me and worries about me she just sends mixed signals and I miss her and want her back… just don’t know what to do… she was the best thing to ever happen to me and I screwed it up because of my insecurities and my mouth sometimes