She's blocked my number

I was with a girl for nearly a year. I’ve never loved another girl the way I did this one, I thought she might have been “the one.”

I lost tragically lost members of my family a few years ago, and as a result suffer from some residual mental illnesses.

Christmas time us insanely difficult for me. My girlfriend and I got in a fight, our second real fight in a year. The stress of the holidays and a manic episode ended up pushing me over the edge. I said some really, really mean things, and hurt her very badly. She told me to delete her number and never speak to her again.

I hate myself for what I said. I took my problems and anger out on her.

I waited over a month, have been seeing a therapist and getting the help I need, and have generally been feeling great.

Until today.

I sent her a text, but never got a response. I reached out today via a social media platform. She told me she never got the text, said that she didn’t want to hear from me ever again. She said how much I hurt her. She’s also already in a relationship.

Part of this is me getting it off my chest, part of this is me needing advice. It sounds like she’s still hurting badly over what I did. And rightfully so. I hate myself over what I did.

I figure it’s a good sign she talked to me at all, despite having blocked my number. I think she’s in a rebound relationship, but she’s listed as single on Facebook.

Do you think there’s a chance? I’m not sure what I should do. I’ve never been so torn up over a girl. Normally I just move on pretty quickly. If I wait two or three months more, do I have a chance?

Sit down and write her a letter. Tell her everything you need to say. Apologize and then apologize some more. Tell her you understand if she will not forgive you but one day you hope she will see how truly sorry you are.

Then do nothing…