We had been together for nearly 1 year. Our relationship from the start was amazing and she told me everyday that she had never been treated better. She came from a really rough and abusive relationship that she had been in for 2 years. I came in first as a friend, and helped her to get better and she fell madly in love with me!
We did everything together, we were together nearly everyday, EVERYTHING we did together. And she loved it she really did.
Troughout our relationship i showed an insecure side, a jealous side and so on! But nothing to major.
Reason for breakup:
She told me she had to find herself because she had changed herself because of me, and that is in some way true. I was not a good boyfriend towards the end, i had a negative attitude and could be ‘‘mad’’ even tough she was very nice and cute. No i never did any violent i just had a negative attitude for no reason. And i tried to make our relationship something it wasent, tried to make her do stuff she had never done before. An example could be, if we got into an argument, i would ASK HER to come to my house and fix it… but she does not have a car, and it would probably have been said in the middle of the night. Yeah i know… This is just the tip of an iceberg but i do not see any reason to explain further.
Only that our relationship WAS AMAZING and she told me everyday, even towards the end, and end i never saw coming!
Fast forward, she blocked me last week Tuesday on messenger because i wrote in a negative way. Before tuesday from 12th of april to tuesday i fought for her! I came with flowers to her house, and did everything in my power to just make her listen to me but she didnt want to! She told me to leave everytime and give up, and not fight for her because she hasent told me to! Well fuck me right? So when she blocked me on Tuesday i just said okay 
And i did not contact her, i went full under the radar. She knows i could have contacted her but i didnt. She even unfollowed me on Instagram, but the funny thing is she watches ALL my stories.
Well fast-forward to Sunday, 3 days ago. She unblocked me, and contacted me the first thing she wrote was ‘’ Hey i can see you are using my Netflix, please stop ‘’ well i never used it after we broke up so that was BS. But i answered i didnt, and she asked if i had time etc. And i said yes, well i dont know for what because nothing happened she just told me that she misses me and thinks about me a lot! I answered so did i, and i tought ''YES she is coming back ‘’ she even wrote she still has feelings for me, then she wrote in the middle of the night ‘’ I wish you the best, in the future … you are an amazing person etc etc etc ‘’
She then contacts me Monday asking what im doing, where i am etc. She told me she was shopping and is missing someone to shop me ( we used to do that all the time ) i said i could come, and she then suddenly had to work out… Well then troughout the day she keeps asking what im doing etc. Then tuesday (yesterday) i asked if she wanted to eat icecream with me, and she told me no because she had to work till 8, and i told her the place closes at 21:30 and then she said ‘’ Oh well i have to go clubbing tonight so no i cant ‘’ and i said ‘’ Okay i hope you have a nice night ‘’ (trying to show im not jealous etc etc ) even tough she is not my gf anymore. Well then when she was ‘‘clubbing’’ she keept writing to me about me and how i have changed, and i explained and she keept saying she doesent know if she should believe me, and she even said she has it better now without me (because of how i acted ) Then we keept writing back and forth about my changes kinda, and she then said ‘’ Well i doesent matter now anymore’’ where i then worte ‘’ No i guess not because we are not gonna get backtogether ‘’ and she wrote ‘’ No ‘’ and i havent answered and she havent written yet.
What does all this mean? Because i begged and pleaded for 2 weeks straight nearly. And i cant use this ping pong back and forth to anything! I have tried now twice to get her to meet up but with no luck after she contacted me again.
Advice please!! Because she unblocked me and said she misses me, thinks a lot about me and still has feelings, she just doesent believe i have finally changed and she is scared to enter.
I kinda wanna write to her ‘’ Hey i think it’s best for me that we dont write together anymore, it’s clear that you dont wanna take small steps with me and see where it goes and thats fine, but i just have to many feelings for you and it hurts me having to write with you like this, if you change your mind about me and a chance to show i have changed then you can contact me ‘’
Or is this a stupid idea? Because i kinda wanna show her that she has to make up her MIND! im not sayin we are gonna get back together instantly but taking baby steps so no one gets hurt if it doesent workout in the end.
Any advice or is this a stupid idea?! I wanna get her back, she dumped me btw, or should i just go NC again or will she drift away from me?
Btw we share a youtube account so i can see that everynight she is watching sad songs about breakups, and missing someone songs etc etc…?
What should i do, i need real advice!
::: And i have changed! In so many ways, but i cant show her that over text can i…? She acts so hot and cold towards me, wanting to know all im doing etc?
What do i do so i can get her to see me by herself… so i can show i have changed, or should i just let her go since its not worth it idk? I love this little lady so much.