Things were passionate and heated, and we ended up living together. I am a student and I could not pay completely half the rent but he knew this before we moved in… eventually things got stale. He would no longer ask me out on dates, he would only see me whenever he and I were coincidentally both home (which usually would be at 10 at night and then we would just watch some TV then go to bed). I tried to ask him to make more of an effort. Every time I talked about my feelings he just shut me down and said he didn’t want to talk about feelings because he doesn’t handle emotions well. Eventually he broke up with me because he said he lost feelings, and he thought I made the relationship feel like work (even though relationships ARE work). He said he isn’t ready for everything that encompasses a relationship, and he wants to be single. I was so devastated he gave up so quickly. How did he lose feelings for me when we both loved so deeply at first? Over time he got more angry with me, started lashing out that I needed to be independent and that I need to get over him. He got so mean
My friends think either
since he doesn’t know how to deal with emotions, he is just hurt inside
he is a sociopath b/c he switched gears so quickly and got angry and the way he behaves and doesn’t show emotion
I personally tell myself that he is just hurting because he doesn’t want to be alone forever but he is scared that he will be (I told him he is an emotionless robot at one point and he actually cried a bit). I feel like he is not ready and mature enough for a relationship (he’s 22yrs old), and that he attributes “losing feeling” as being in the compassion stage (meaning, after the honeymoon phase was over, he didn’t know that it takes effort and work to keep the spark, and so since he didn’t want to make an effort he let the spark died down and I think he is immature and likes only the excitement… so he thought of this as losing feeling. but it’s ridiculous because its not always passionate love, but he doesn’t get that long term relationships go through this).
I’m sad because I told him I felt like he hated me and he said I was being dramatic and ridiculous. IS that his way of telling me that he doesn’t hate me? He said he loves me as a person but not romantically.
Also, I noticed he deleted me off of Facebook and started adding his ex back and his ex crushes he had … is this his way of trying to “heal”
or…
DOES HE JUST NOT CARE ABOUT ME anymore
Hi sxox, he could he going through a ton on his mind right now and the mind is a complex result of his past encounters. Youve got to work on yourself first, find your self worth, understand yourself. Be the attractive you once more. Stay strong.
thank you, i just am having a hard time.
he never really expressed to me too much about his feelings towards me. i know i am good enough for him… but I just felt like it would be easier to move on if I knew if he still loved me.
i can’t help but telling myself “he will come back” “he will miss me” “he will marry me one day”… i guess its a coping mechanism… but it’s not good for me to think that!
thank you! i will keep you updated… it’s only been two full days of NC the last message he sent me was in regards to moving out my fireproof safe he said “you probably could not carry the safe down yourself. did you want to come back at a later date?”
haven’t messaged him
I’m going to send my step brother in to get the safe, but of course, i can not contact my ex to tell him that.
we were together for 8 months but saw each other every day practically, we lived together… and have known each other for 5 years
Also, I am friends with some of his friends as he is friends / working with my step brother. Am I breaking the no contact rule by going out with his friends? I try not to speak of our relationship to his / my friends
So I hung out with some of our mutual friends, and he texted me saying he wouldn’t be comfortable with the idea but its my life and i can do whatever i want. he said that they are no longer his friends now, and to be careful because his friends are backstabbers
i just said okay i won’t hang out with them
so i have to start Nc again. but yesterday i decided to hang out with them again (including one of his best friends who my ex still is friends with) because i am not a doormat i can do what i want because he is just trying to manipulate me.
he never texted me about it but i heard from one of his friends that he texted “oh i didn’t know [name of his best friend] was there” but apparently he isn’t mad…
i think I’m going to continue seeing our friends because i think he is just jealous that his friends like me and he can’t deal with that.
also,
he texted me again asking if i properly moved out all of my stuff because he is missing his hair buzzer.
i don’t want to break NC again so i am thinking of just getting my mom (who works with my ex) to give him the box when she sees him at work. and that she will text him saying i dropped off a box and she will give it to him …and that she is sorry that i have been so busy and just need space.
the last message he sent me was in regards to moving out my fireproof safe he said “you probably could not carry the safe down yourself. did you want to come back at a later date?”