long story short, we had a six month relationship that was very on and off, up and down. She was abusive at one point and i was neglectful of her. she ended up leaving me for someone else she met online that lived in another state. i did every bad move i could have for the first few months, texting, calling, you name it, i made things much worse. i even poured a drink on her at a bar. she said things like she would never give me another chance and that this new guy was the be all end all for her.
well, she popped up on my tinder the other day and is single. i am 21 days into NC (finally, it took me a long time to actually follow through with full NC). i didnt swipe her left or right for fear of either matching with her or her not wanting to match with me etc, so she still pops up almost every time i open the app. I am really thinking about contacting her… but i dont want to seem desperate like i acted during the breakup. what should i do? should i reach out or finish NC, i have been thinking about what to do constantly for the last 48 hours she has been single.
I think you should definitely try to go for the full NC! Then maybe match with her on tinder. It’s only 9 days away, and you can see if she wants to reconnect as well. Or if it’s easier then just text her. It’s likely that she’s seen you on tinder as well?
i think its more than likely, im almost certain she saw me… but she hasnt reached out to me or anything. since i keep seeing her card pop up i see her changing her bio alot to sort of outlandish things, one of which seemed like a reference to me… so i think she saw me. i mean shes about two days off her rebound relationship ending and i just am fighting the urge to contact because i dont want too look crazy and desperate like i was when i made all the fatal errors. as far as matching with her, well, im terrified she would have swiped left on me due to our past. maybe shes just embarassed too cuz she did and said alot of awful things as well… tough to gauge
Yeah it’s really hard to predict what she may do. I think it’s important that you keep no contact for as long as you can. If you still think that you will be upset if she swipes left, then I think it’s important to swipe her left or right. But you still want to connect with her, so texting could be a way to go. I think it would sound pretty keen if you mentioned seeing her on tinder & know that she’s single… so it might be better to reach out via text where it’s not obvious that you know? If that makes sense. Good luck!
Sorry: I think it’s important to NOT swipe her left or right. That way, you won’t know what her reaction is unless you are in a state of mind that can deal with her swiping left - I hope that makes sense!
im just hoping she did swipe right but i get what youre saying. appreciate your thoughts. we were very bad and very much on deaths door… im sure she saw my tinder but she hasnt even unblocked me on social media yet… she plays alot of psychological games
