Hello, I am a Male, aged 29.
To keep my story as short as possible but as long as needed here is a little bit of information that you probably need.
I was and currently still am married to my “ex ex” if you want to call it that. We have a child together.
I met my current ex at work (I know, typical…) and she showed/proved to me that my marriage wasn’t as life fulfilling as I thought it was. I tried to work things out with my ex ex but that didn’t work out.
Throughout the space of a year, my ex and I got to know eachother really well. I bonded with her on a level I’d never experienced before in my life.
She has an understanding for me and the person I am like nobody else on this planet.
Short conversations turned into long conversations which then finally turned into a relationship.
Our first sticking point happened in December. We had been together for a couple of months and we found out that she was pregnant.
I was quite overwhelmed at the point in time and to keep things relatively short - it turned out to be a miscarriage.. After a couple of days my ex told me that she had stomach pains and that she would like to go to hospital.
I asked a rhetoric question if I should come with her and was surprised by her answer. She said no and that her sister was already on her way to pick her up.
I respected her decision and decided to go home - I instantly sent her countless messages upon arriving. She didn’t respond up until the point where doctors told her that it was a miscarriage. At this point she called me and told me what was going on. I instantly asked - again - if I should come by. She said no again - which I respected…
The next day we talked again and she told me that she felt abandoned by me - even though I did what she told me to do.
She said she expected me to be there - no matter what she says which I find a bit difficult.
We broke up for the first time.
In the meantime we didn’t really talk much. I used the time and opened up to a couple of friends. I needed to speak to some people about what was going on and the friends I was talking to, already knew about the pregnancy / miscarriage (this is important for the current situation). I was in a state of desperation and thought I was doing the right thing and that I could trust my “friends”……
My ex and I finally managed to brush everything aside and got back together 2-3 weeks later.
Everything was going really well for 3 weeks.
She started pressuring me that she wanted to meet my child. I told her, respectfully, that I would prefer to wait a little bit longer until our relationship was more stable seeing as our last fall out was only a couple of weeks ago.
She had absolutely no understanding for this and boom - we had an argument which lead into our next fall out / break up.
In the meantime she started talking to our friends (the ones who I talked to in the past and trusted) and they started telling her everything I told them.
This just poured more gasoline onto the fire and since the beginning of the week we haven’t spoken to one another.
She has since blocked me on Instagram and at least deleted my number on whatsapp (I can’t see her picture and I won’t send her a message to find out if im blocked…).
On the other hand she hasn’t blocked me on TikTok where she keeps on reposting videos, of how betrayed she feels and that she regrets meeting me.
She reposted a video which really hurts because it says: “For my final act of love I’ll give someone all of the love I wanted to show you and you’ll have to watch our life be the one I promised you.”
She told me more than once that she doesn’t care about me anymore. She said we will never be in a relationship ever again.
The whole situation is ripping the life out of me. I am trying to focus on myself and I am giving her the space she wants / needs.
I can’t stop thinking about the fact that the relationship I want the most might be nothing more than a memory in the future. She isn’t just a chapter of my life - she is the woman I want by my side until I am no more..
Helppppppp