Background: I just recently got some hard news from my girlfriend of nearly 2 years. We met in our senior year of high school and about 8 months in, it was time to go off to college (her in FL and me in VA). We decided to try things long distance and it definitely was difficult. We both missed each other greatly and made sure to make time for one another. Although looking back, regular meaningful communication was something we could’ve done better. Well a month or so ago we began experiencing some tension, both of us anxious and a little apprehensive about missing one another. Historically, the distance hit us exceptionally hard for only a week or so at a time and not that often. This instance just happened to be a bit longer and we both were experiencing a “down” time simultaneously.
Then I won some concert tix on the radio to one of our favorite bands. We both dropped some money on a cheap flight and she came up here for the weekend. We saw the concert, spent time in DC, I showed her around my university for the first time. It was an awesome weekend for us both!
About one week after she flew back to FL, I get a phone call from her and she asks if I’m home and can talk. I say yes and she instantly breaks into sobbing and says she can’t do this anymore. This was literally out of the blue as we had un an unusually healthy relationship that had never even veered close to that sort of thing. Anyways, we talked a bit via text the next day after the initial rush of emotions passed for us both (I say initial, NOT ALL by any means) and she clarified things a bit as to why she did it.
From what I can gather (and I do believe that she is sincere in all of these points…or at least she thinks she is sincere. Meaning she thinks this is how and why she is feeling this):
– She still loves me and thinks I’m an awesome person
– I’m still her best friend and she is hoping that after I move on, she will still have me as that (she began crying when she spoke of how long it may be before she got her best friend back)
– She did this not because she doesn’t love me but because the distance is too hard. It’s put her in some serious periods of depression and it’s affecting her schoolwork increasingly more)
– She has felt that maybe we’re drifting apart (I have felt it too but I attributed it to the distance and lack of constant physical interaction…also the lack of quality communication by both of us)
– She said that after she came up to go to the concert and everything she felt great and that any uncertainty that things may be heading south vanished…but as soon as she got back home in FL, those thoughts “sneak attacked” her 10x worse
– Because of this, I thought that perhaps the acute separation anxiety caused her to make a rash decision (the few days right after we head back to school in different states is always hard, especially on her). She said she honestly didn’t know if this was a rash decision or if she’d realize she dun goof’d in a few days
– She said she hopes that one day in the future our paths will cross again and that we’ll reconnect and go from there. She said she would love that because she truly loves me and believes/believed I was her soulmate
So in conclusion, it seems like she’s forcing herself to do this. Like she’s mentally overriding the “love signals” her heart is sending in order to do this. It was a very peaceful breakup and I took it quite gracefully. Neither of us said or did anything rude or that we may regret.
I haven’t communicated with her at all since the morning of the 2nd day after the breakup when I replied to the last message she sent the night before (I had gone to bed before she sent it). In the morning, I didn’t reply to her text (because there really wasn’t anything to reply about). I just said “Thank you. Have a good day _______."
Does anyone have any advice about reconciliation given that we don’t live near one another anymore? I’m 2 weeks into NC and plan on writing her in a few weeks but thos obviously can’t be fixed unless we meet face to face right?
