Hi RichBeauty, He contacted you Monday then 2 days later on Wednesday, you contacted him and he replied. Today is only Thursday and you’re worried already? I mentioned this before, but I don’t think he believes you’ve changed regarding the smothering and I think he’s waiting and watching and taking it slow. Please prove to him you aren’t the smothering type by backing off and letting him reach out to you first. Don’t give up, just be more patient!
Hey Patricia,
You’re right. I guess I’m just expecting things to go back to normal with us talking everyday but that’s what caused the relationship to end and when it doesn’t I think the worse (another thing I must work on). Being patient is NOT easy…lol ??
I have not contacted him and don’t plan on it. I’m keeping busy with my schedule and life. Man, I hope everything comes together. Thanks for that reassurance and wake up call!
Hey Patricia,
Just an update… He hasn’t contacted me and I definitely have not reached out. I’m doing what you said and let him come to me. My question when is there a sign that he’s moved on? I don’t want to wait around forever. In the meantime I have went on dates and still enjoying life.
I’m glad you’ve gone out to enjoy life, but don’t be discouraged. As I said, you were way too smothering and he didn’t like it! He wants to know that you won’t be that way again. And you’re proving it now by not chasing him and contacting him first. The only way to know for sure if he has moved on, or wants to move on, is if he tells you.
Hey Patricia,
It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Is that a good thing or bad? And no, I haven’t reached out.
Maybe he’s testing you to see if you’ll start smothering him again. Maybe wait another week and contact him with a short happy note.
Ok! It could be he’s happy with the lady friend ?. I won’t think negative tho… I’ll wait another week and if I haven’t heard from him will send him a happy note.
Hey Patricia,
I need some real advice. So waited a week to text him. A simple one indicating he was on my mind and was seeing how he was doing. This time he was really cold towards me. One to two word responds then eventually just stop responding. What did I do wrong? Should I just let him go altogether?
I definitely don’t want to give up so easily but this is hard!
It’s only been 11 days since you last contacted him and I thought you were going to wait another week after our message to each other Aug 12th - that would have put it to the 19th to contact him.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe he was busy at work and didn’t have time to reply with a longer message. You said he’s dating (just a friend), so he’s probably been spending time with her too. But don’t focus or worry about it as it’s probably just a rebound. I know it’s so hard to wait, but maybe wait until next weekend to send a note or call him if he’s off work. After that, no contact for at least two weeks. Let him be the once to reach out to you again. Remember, he still has memories of you being way too smothering. It will take time for him to get past the fear of you starting to smother him again. Did you restart your business yet? Have you been working on losing weight and how’s that going? Are you at the ideal weight for your height yet?
Thanks for responding Patricia. This waiting and being patient stuff is so hard…especially when you start thinking about that person (which is what happened when I reached out).
Yes, I did restart my business and in fact creating a few proposals to submit to some companies who will use my services. I actually hit my goal weight for both myself and height. I won a challenge that was going on at my bootcamp class. I’ve now started another goal for birthday which is in October.
Tomorrow I’m going to work on my fall vision board and do EVERYTHING possible to NOT focus on him but all the great things I’m doing, have done and will do to end out this year.
Hey Patricia got a question, would the lady friend still be considered a rebound if we’ve been broken up for 9 months?
Congrats on winning the challenge to reach your weight goal and continuing on to another goal for October. I’m assuming you’re not at your ideal weight yet? Also glad to hear you restarted the business and I’m wishing you much luck with it:) Most people say a rebound is when someone moves on quickly from a relationship. But it could be any amount of time when the emotional feelings for an ex are still lingering. The person might start another relationship, but their “heart” isn’t in it so to speak. He expressed his love for you at the meet up last month and said the other lady was a “friend”, so to me that sounds like reconciliation is still on the table. Next time you text him or call him (maybe the weekend?), how about if you ask him when he’s going to teach you to play spades? That might be a starting point for another meeting… Don’t give up all hope yet. Stay positive:)
Thank you so much!!! No, I’m not at my goal weight but only 5 pounds away so I can say almost there. Definitely been focusing on my businesses right now as the focal point is children with school back in session I’ve been quite busy.
Now I understand the whole rebound relationship thing. Great idea about the spades game ?. I’ll definitely try it maybe next weekend since I just reached out.
Again talking and getting advice like this is so helpful because this is HARD!!
Goal weight is different from ideal weight. Goal weight is a certain number of pounds you want to lose by a certain date. Ideal weight is the normal weight for your height. There are tables on the internet to illustrate that. When you text or call, don’t drag out the conversation. Just keep it rather short and very pleasant:) Good luck and keep us posted…
Now it makes sense. Well I’m at my goal weight but not ideal weight. According to the table I’m still overweight ? so work is still being done on that part.
Ok, I’ll do that and definitely will let you know how it goes?
So he contacted me yesterday. Just small talk but I think he wanted to meet up (based on his question of “what I’m doing”), however, last night was bootcamp night ?. He did tell me to stay with it and was proud of my success thus far. ? Hopefully he’ll contact today or this weekend. fingers crossed
Glad he contacted you:) Was it by text? Did you ask about him teaching you to play spades? Since he just contacted you yesterday, don’t get your hopes up about him contacting you today. The way to get past the anxiety of “hoping” for more contact is to go about your life and not “anticipate” or think about if he would or not. Then you would be pleasantly surprised when he does. How many more pounds do you need to lose to reach your ideal weight? Good that he’s proud of your success so far and I’m sure he respects you for it…
He contacted me via text. I didn’t get a chance to ask about him teaching me how to play spades as he contacted me when I was preparing for my workout class.
I have 5 more lbs to go so that’s my main focus right now which will keep me from “anticipating” a text from him.
Right now I’ll focus on me and let the rest fall as it should.
Hey Patricia,
It’s been a week and no contact since he reached out last Wednesday. Was wonder should I reach out or just wait for him to contact me?
Since you two are on good terms and he contacted you the last time, I think it would be a good idea to contact him. You don’t want to put too much distance between you at this time. Keep it simple and friendly, but don’t smother him again by contacting him too frequently. Good luck:)