Hi all,
In the last couple of months my ex and I had some testing times, namely small arguments that sometimes flared up. These weren’t over anything serious, but it was my reaction to questions or sometimes my tone they caused a reaction from her which led to me and so on.
She told me recently that it’s best we split up. We had some breaks before that but ultimately couldn’t handle not talking. She also noted herself how she’d sometimes acted also. But ultimately that came from me pushing her, when I’d want to talk about the situation she’d want to not but I would push her in to it. We’ve had a lot of back and forth and she’s said she feels exhausted from it, she mentioned recently that her feelings have changed slightly.
But at the same time her family is having some problems, and she lives in London and her family live about 2 hours away so I know that’s playing on her mind. With all of this she has said she doesn’t have enough time to give everyone what they need and focus on us whilst going through this, and that sounds quite positive to me but then that leads her to say that she doesn’t want me to be hanging around for her if her feelings change. Which is totally fair. But I’m hurting so much we’ve been together for 18 months and are both 36, we’ve spoken about our future together too. She has sa
In the last 6 weeks I’ve really understood what has caused this but she feels too much has happened to get past. I want to give her the space she’s asked for especially as she visits her family (uncle is dying from cancer, brother separating from wife, other brother has some emotional drink/drug issues with a new born, having to find her mum somewhere to live) whilst trying to a new job herself. With everything that has gone on with us she’s had even more crap to deal with. She hasn’t been able to turn to me for support and I’m upset about that.
We’re hoping to meet up next 2 weeks as I’ve booked her a hair appointment for her cousins wedding in 3 weeks. She’s a little bit cautious about accepting it. I know she cares for me as sent her something a while back and she said it’s making this harder, which really isn’t my intention.
On Wednesday she told me the above about not waiting, this hit me hard and had me crying at work, previously before that I’d got her a phone case which arrived that day. She called me after work to thank me and we spoke. She then called me later that as she said she didn’t know to turn to to explain a very serious conversation she’d had with her brother and his separation happening that night. She was driving back home to her family’s place and asked her to let me know she got there safe to which she replied she’d prefer to not have this contact. So sa times I’m confused but really just trying to be there and listen as that was something I didn’t do at times.
Is my best option here to give her the total space she wants? I’m sure she’ll call me at some point or send a text, I don’t want to play games but I want to show her I listen and that yes we have split up but from this now we understand each other better and we speak more about how we feel we can make it stronger?
Thanks in advance.