My ex and his ex broke up after an over 10 year relationship that included two children. He moved out and began dating me about a month or two later. Although I already knew his children, he held off on bringing me around them until about 6 months into the relationship. Up until last week, Everything seemed fine and We even had plans to go to an event with the kids. I slept over his house, we were intimate and our routine was normal, and then he broke up with me the following night. He made no indication that he was going to break up with me. He told me that he felt that after over 10 years with his ex that he moved into a new relationship too quickly and that he never had time to figure out what he was doing and to be single. He said it had nothing to do with me and that it’s not something he wanted to do. I’m blindsided and completely at a loss. Is he just backing out because he’s too afraid of where this is going or because he is unhappy with me?
Dating and sleeping with a man who isn’t divorced is unwise or hasn’t been divorced for at least a year! Most likely they’re hurt, wounded, and confused…
How is it that you already knew his children? FYI: Men can be thinking about breaking up and act as usual up until the minute they announce the breakup. It might be that he’s considering reconciling with his wife in order to reunite his family…
Try not to drive yourself crazy by thinking of the various different reasons he chose to break up with you. It is what it is, and you’ll have to try and move on without him. I’m very sorry this happened, but perhaps you will learn an important lesson here…
Grieve for a while and then get out there and date single men with no children.
I’m friends with a relative of his which is why I already knew the kids. He told me he hadn’t considered breaking up with me until a day or two before he actually did it. And his ex has been in a relationship since January, there’s definitely no reconciliation with her in the future. They tried several times with infidelity on her part being a big part of the end result. He told me they continued to live together for the kids but had not been really together for over a year.
Because of my friendship with his relative, I’m going to have to see him again eventually. I’m struggling with the sudden loss, especially because we had started to make plans to do things like vacation together. His family and mine are both convinced he got scared or worried that this was moving too fast. Either way it’s over, but I don’t know how to cope with the loss.
See a counselor or your pastor if you think it might help you. I understand you might be in shock and heartbroken, but you will survive. Don’t pursue, beg, or try to persuade him to change his mind. After he gets a divorce, things might be different. Maybe he just needs more time to think…