Rebound Victims?

Breakup Help reconciliation
1

Hi guys,

Great to have this forum because I need to speak my mind and man I need to, just not to be hanging on the Phone with the girl tonight.

My ex and I started of not long after she left the father of her child. Yup, it was an absolute rebound! And so, at some point, we started to run into huge problems when it was becoming clear to her that she was using me not to “fill the whole”.

Now, before I am getting it from some of you who are right now watching their ex in a rebound relationship: Her ex is a complete jerk, and, believe me, that is not just HER who has told me that. The guy has done some serious damage.

After we broke up I (by myself) went on a No-Contact period (ok, after two or three days of sending her ALL the wrong messages), and it has been a month now but I realize I am far from ready to contact her.

Now, if I had the feeling that she should get back with the father of her child I think I could really accept it, but hey, this is a REAL jerk. A leave your-son-in-the-car-for-three–hours-while-you-bang-a-new-woman kind of jerk. So no pitty here.

I am not at all ready to Judge whether my ex and I should get back together, and yes, it started of clearly as a rebound to her. But then, it has felt very, very good for months and I am now at the point to admit that she broke up with me because I really did EVERYTHING wrong from some point onward in handeling the complex situation with her child’s father who, of course, she needs to see.

It’s been hard on me because, as it was a rebound, intimacy developed very fast and we’ve shared very intense experiences together. Sorry to freak out those who have an ex who is currently in a rebound. I can secretly tell you, even if you were a jerk, men, you are still in her system! And if, unlike this monster, you happen to be great, that’s a good thing!

So yup. If anyone has any likewise experience or advice, bring it on. Yup, I am at the point that I see that it is majorly my fault that I’m in this situation because I failed to read some very Obvious signs. But man, I need to clear my heart.

Thank you all, and thank Kevin for making this information available freely!

2

Wait, so are you broken up with her now? Is she back with the father of the child? I have heard of cases of rebounds becoming the permanent boyfriend, and I have heard of cases where it didn’t work out.

3

Thanks. She broke up with me saying she has focussed too much on me instead of taking care of her own life. But I think there is another part to it as well, and that is that I was handling the situation pretty bad in the end. God prevent say goes back to the guy, but I think it’s highly unlikely in this case since the man is really doing his best to be a jerk. This is actually what I have done wrong, taking her Obvious grieve as a sign she wanted him back, where she’s just waking up to what the guy has done. So yeah, I got way to nervous about the whole thing.

But thanks, if any more thoughts / experiences, I’d be happy to hear them. Need some time, and advice maybe, to decide if it is wise to want to get back together.

4

if youre the better person and thats all she cares about, she’ll come back to you. but if she cares about the relationship her child has with her farther, it will be harder! if shes a smart women, she’ll come back!