Hi Kevin, or whoever reads this,
So a little background I guess, my boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. We had been doing long distance for the last 6 months of our relationship, he’s a teacher across the state and I’m still in school for one more year. It was mainly the distance and not knowing what I was going to do after I graduated that ended up getting to him, on top of constantly arguing about it and this pressure we put on ourselves to figure it all out right now. He said he just felt like it wasn’t right anymore. He still loves me but doesn’t think it’s right.
But, right away NC started. We’d had pretty much NC this entire time except he did text me a couple times over the course of the month. I have, though, been a wreck lets say, but I’ve been following the advice all of these “online coaches” give; NC, working on myself, going out doing fun things, making new goals, etc. It was going well, everyday is still excruciatingly painful but I haven’t contacted him and have been trying to be as happy as I can.
So NC was about to end though and I’d been freaking out about what I was going to do for my next step. The program I’d been reading on suggested to start contact again, be friendly and cool and try to re-attract him and be his “friend” slowly. I was nervous and was trying to figure out how to do this when…he calls me out of the blue just the other day!
Originally I freaked out a little and didn’t answer, I waited and called him back but it went to his voicemail too (he fell asleep) but I thought it might be a mistake so I texted him asking if he called. The next morning he replied ya I wanted to talk i fell asleep though. And so he called again that night. And…it was weird. We talked for 45 minutes… I eventually flat out asked him why he called and he said he just wanted to catch up and he still cares about me so he wanted to see how I’ve been. Still pretty sure he doesn’t want to get back together but I just don’t understand why he would’ve called in the first place. And now I’m lost as to what my next move should be. We had a good conversation, I was cool and fun, talked about the fun things I’d been doing and that I’d been really busy, etc. He did the same, it felt like how we always used to talk, especially since we talked on the phone a lot being LD. He did however, bring up some reminiscing kinda flirty things though which I don’t know what to think of, like he has my pillow and refuses to give it back and is vague as to the reason why he won’t, and I have one of his tshirts still and he said it was only his favorite cuz I used to wear it, he told me to keep it. Idk, I don’t want to over think those things, it’ll just hurt more.
But now if I follow the advice and try to recontact him like some programs say, and try to be his “friend” again and re-attract him, I don’t want him to think I’m just doing that stuff because he called and thinks I want to get back together with him.
Ugh…so I just don’t know what my next move should be. Contacting him casually? Not contacting him? Technically the NC period is over. I don’t understand why he would’ve called in the first place. Its been so long, why would he have done that? And he said just to catch up…? idk. It feels so much harder since we’re long distance too, he won’t be back to our hometown till sept or oct. So I guess, what should I do at this point? I’m confused now and at my whits end, I just want to be back together with him and don’t know what to do. Help please?