Hi all,
Recently I broke no contact at 28 days since the breakup. Dated for two and half years, she reached out within the first week and I asked for more space. Our relationship was good, and she claimed she “woke up one day” and knew she had to break up with me. That she was “always happy when we were together,” but didn’t think about me much when we were apart. I suspect I acted clingy toward the end of the relationship. No evidence of a rebound, which I doubt anyway because she is using a contraceptive that severely inhibits her libido. She went on the contraceptive about a year ago which destroyed our previously incredible sexual chemistry. She is stubborn and did not want to go back on the pill, despite it allowing her to crave and enjoy sex.
The morning after the breakup, I begged over text and then went no contact. I went on a hike with my close friends soon after and entered NC. I reached out after 4 weeks of self improvement and quality time spent with friends, having been contacted twice during the first week and politely asking for more time to think. She replied in 4 minutes with a longish text after I asked how she was doing, and I kept it short and positive. She asked how I was doing, and told me she feels horrible about “blindsiding” me with the breakup, and knows what it feels like. I simply told her I was doing really well and working on myself, and the past is the past and the best we can do is move forward and be positive, and then steered the conversation away from the relationship. I kept things short and pleasant, she said she was glad to hear from me and mentioned maybe she would see me sometime. However, she implied that seeing me would be when we got together with mutual friends.
The interaction was positive, so no contact worked, but I didn’t feel any real sparks from her. It has been 5 days since breaking NC and I’ve been patiently waiting and doing my own thing. How do I re-attract someone who I know has difficulty being sexual because of her contraceptive? Do you think she wants to see me but does not want to be the one to ask directly, or do you think she really doesn’t want to see me unless we’re with friends? Also, based on this, would attempting to arrange a meeting soon be a good idea, or should I give it some more time? After 2 and half years together, I know that she can be stubborn and headstrong about things.