My ex and I have dated for 7.5 years, we ended the relationship due to me not giving her enough time and attention she deserved as I was focused on my business. Recently, I wasn’t showing that I loved her and slowly she started to realize and eventually ended it with me.
We both agreed to end the relationship and work on becoming better individually and more stronger, so we left in good terms. She told em how we may or may not get back in the future but a few weeks might not be enough for me to fix my old habits.
So far it’s been one week since we broke up and I still can’t get over her. This week I accidentally called her but hung up right away as I’m trying to do NC, she messaged and walked what’s up? I told her I was sorry and I accidentally called her. She told me if I ever need anything or want to talk I can always call her.
I’m trying to stick to the 30 day NC but today I ran into her at the gym and he had a good conversation for about 10min and talked about how everything was and how the single life was lol, we shared a story each and that was it. Dumb me asked if she wanted to go get coffee and she told me no, so I asked how about some other time and she told me maybe. I showed her that I didn’t get mad at her response and acted completely normal.
I think I may have messed up NC and am not sure what to do, I want to work things out with her but don’t want to rush either, as we were speaking I noticed her eyes get teary, she told me she’s over me but I don’t think that’s the case. Not to sure how to proceed going forward from this point.
Any help or suggestions would really be appreciated, she is my first gf and I know I can do a lot better if I get a second chance with her.
@mikeb - You wrote:“…asked if she wanted to go get coffee and she told me no, so I asked how about some other time and she told me maybe.” Start over with the 30 days no contact and avoid the gym if you think she might be there.
You also wrote:“…we may or may not get back in the future but a few weeks might not be enough for me to fix my old habits.” I don’t know what old habits you have that made her decide to break up with you other than not giving her enough time and attention, but any others you need to work on, try and do it!
@patricia12 It May be hard to start no contact all over again as in a few a weeks a group of mutual friends are going on a trip and we both are going. It doesn’t look like she won’t come, I’m hoping to treat her like a friend at this time and show her I’ve changed over the past few weeks. Also, none of our friends know we broke up.
Other things were stuff like putting her down or telling her she’s over thinking little things, which girls tend to think are not so little
@mikeb - There is no excuse for putting her down by being rude and disrespectful. I don’t know why you would treat someone you love like that, but it must be deeply ingrained in you. Maybe you should consider therapy to get at the root cause and get the help you need in order to change your thoughts and behaviors. She’s correct in that a few weeks is not enough time to change long held behaviors!
Also, when you had the conversation at the gym and she refused to go for coffee, you said you showed her that you didn’t get mad at her response. What? Do you also have anger issues?
Okay, so go on the trip and be nice to her. Also be honest about the breakup with your friends.
@patricia12 I used to let me anger get the better of me, I have been working on it for the past few months when I noticed things starting to spiral downwards. Earlier, I couldn’t stand being wrong, recently we had arguments about not spending time with another more than once a week or showing each other love.
The reason I said I didn’t get mad is because I was someone who would when I didn’t get what I want, when she said no I simply smiled and said maybe another time. Didn’t let her response bother me.
I am going on the trip, we both decided not to tell anyone in case we work things out. If we are unable to then we will let others know.