Hi guys,
I need your opinion with something.
I’ve been seeing this girl for a year now.
Until 3 months ago, i didn’t want a relationship and i kept pushing her away, and we were friends with benefits even though she wanted more.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes and hurt her. Not introduced her to my friends, refusing to talk to her more often, see her more often. I regret it now.
Like 3 months ago she told me that we can go on like this, hinting to a breakup and I realized that I like her way to much to lose her.
I’ve told her that I want a relationship now but she told me she tried so hard to bury her feelings and now that i told her that she’s confused.
Told her to take her time and I will be patient.
We kept seeing each other but she cut all physical contact(kissing, sex) but we sleep together sometimes(no sex).
But because she became distant, I became needy and she told me that i was a little too needy(i wasn’t like that before).
I became so attentive to her needs, bought her flowers one time when she had a bad day and she loved it. But told me after that she feels pressure and she feels bad that she can’t reciprocate my feelings right now(She started crying). I told her i don’t want to be a stress to her right now and i will stop with the little gifts.
After the episode above, i stopped contacting her for a week(usually she would text me the next day) but she didn’t text me at all so i’ve texted her. We’ve talked but it seemed like a one way conversation and she told me that these two weeks she’s really busy and we can’t see each other this weekend. And it’s true she has a lot going on with work and some personal issues.
I haven’t text her since. That was almost a week ago.
Do you think i should go in a no-contact phase?
I started working on myself already, at the moment i’ve decided i want a relationship with her. Started going to the gym, picked up a new hobby, educating myself on how to be a better man. To show her and me that i can be better.
Thank you for your answers!
@yoghurt Since you two were friends with benefits for many months (9), she is probably reluctant to believe you now want a committed serious relationship. Yes, stop giving her gifts. Start dating her properly like when you two first met and don’t sleep in bed with her! It will give her the impression that you want sex again…
Maybe next week text to ask how she’s doing. Maybe ask to go for a walk together or something… but don’t wind up in a bed!! I’m glad you’re trying to be a better more mature man, but you have to give her time to realize you want a happy relationship with her.
I think you have a good chance at reconciliation if you don’t act needy/desperate again and don’t push for physical contact!
Good luck:)
@patricia12 Thank you so much for your answer and advice. It really gives me hope.
I’m feeling a bit sad and anxious that we haven’t talked yet, but maybe distance it’s what we need right now.
Thank you once a again!
@yoghurt Try to relax! I understand your sadness, but it won’t help you right now. It’s only been a week since the last time you two texted, so give her time to consider everything you’ve told her. You need to show you’re serious about her, but don’t pester her. That’s why I suggested contacting her next week, but don’t overwhelm her with texting too much or too often. You could ask how she’s doing at work etc. and tell her what you’ve been doing, but don’t pressure her about anything! Start out slow and casual…
@patricia12 thank you once again for the advices! I will give her the space she needs and will see.
One more thing, do you think if she’s still involved in my social media(likes my posts) she misses me?
@yoghurt Don’t post too much as it will appear you’re doing it to get her attention or to impress her. I would imagine she might look at your posts because she’s curious as you probably do the same. Time will tell what happens, but try not to obsess about her! Continue no contact until next week…
@patricia12 ok, i understand. Thank you once again! I will pace myself.
Have a great day!
@yoghurt You’re welcome:) Hope you’re enjoying your weekend…