Post NC Conversation

Ok. Broke 6 week NC last night and got a positive reply on the memory text.

Our relationship was a good one with no fights. Our breakup had nothing to apologize for. We just fizzled, half her extremely demanding job (resident Dr.) and me for my temporary lack of ambition. We were going to move in June, my attempt at a business failed (I was starting it when we met), and I saw no need to find a job I was going to quit in 5 months, had plenty of money; enough to last 2-3 years if I really had to. I’m a scientist; quitting like that doesn’t look good so I decided to do consulting while I waited to move to the new city that had tons upon tons of FT jobs for me. (The reasons for the breakup are only my best guess, she never specified and she did apologize for that a week after the break up while returning my things. “It just feels wrong.”)

In our texts, I’m feeling that Dragon of Resistence, is that what Kevin called it? Thoughts to overcome? I’m giving her positive change information but she is only reacting (positively) and not asking questions for me to elaborate like I was hoping. Nor is she providing much information on her life that I was hoping to talk about too. It feels like the beginning of the end of our old relationship rather than the beginning of a new one.

Also, I cannot follow the standard text model. Because of her job, short conversations can last days. Even when we were together at our peak, if it was a busy rotation for her, we’d each squeeze in a text every few hours. I “stalked” her FB hoping to match her activity to day off activity to start this, but I messed that up. That breaks up the model Kevin says to follow. It will be tough to even come close.

Anyone familiar with my text/time dilemma and have an alternate that could work.

Succeed or fail I feel great. This is definitely a good idea. No regrets that I didn’t try. I’m sure fail will end in despair again but hopefully shorter than the first time and I’ll come out of it over her…I’m hoping for succeed though.

Even though she’s busy, she must have days off now and then. Ask her when it would be convenient to get together for a talk in person.

Thanks for the reply, Patricia.

I don’t think we’re even close to meeting in person.

I think one of the problems was that I interferes with her very limited free time. 14-16 hour days and 4 days off a month will do that. I don’t want to come off too early asking for her time again. She may have mentioned that while breaking up, “I want to spend time with my friends before we all leave.” However, grain of salt, my tears were peaking around that moment and I could have imagined it too. This is especially key right now because she just came off of working nights and making up time was always important to her after nights (she mentioned nights in text.)

I think Kevin’s plan to re attract by limited text first is a great method but to follow his schedule is almost impossible. I was hoping for alternate ideas in that category.

If a solution isn’t found; in just gonna roll with a steady conversation dictated by her schedule. It worked the first time and resulted in the best relationship of my life. Then I’ll feel out meeting in person for the right moment.

Okay, good luck)

But seems she could take one of the 4 days off to meet with you before she leaves in June. Anyway, you have a good plan and I hope it works!

Oh yeah. That is 100% the goal!

One of those days? I want one within the next three weeks. Take the rest of the time till June to restart as best as we can, then take thorough advantage of the fact that my mom just retired/moved 2 hours away from where she will be.

I know relationships need to start over, but I’m hoping to leverage the past a little and speed it up just a touch. There are no bad memories between us.

It’s a long shot to rekindle but I got a plan in place if we do to keep it going!

Best of luck:)