Hi everyone! Let me briefly sum up all the situation.
-Known each other for 7/8 years, never been more than acquaintances
-He dated a girl for about 8 years
-We got together a few months after that (he told me after we broke up he regrets being in that relationship for so long, that it was out of comfort and I think I helped him regret it because I gave him a lot she didnt, etc)
-I was single for 3 years. Wanted to be for more because I wanted to live abroad and just live life freely. That made me be in conflict with myself. But I always admired him. I chose to be with him. He is a total worthy guy. Good guy, family type, lives life, good job, cooks, my type physically totally… we talked about what we wanted in the future. House kids… He made me totally change my views. Im 24. I should focus on education, a job. etc. Unfortunately I didn’t know how to maintain a healthy relationship, was insecure, would fret about anything that would bother me. He wanted a stress free relationship, I didnt give him that.
-We were together for 5 months. He put himself a lot into the relationship, changed for me, did everything I wanted, etc etc. He told me he loved me a couple of times and am sure he did.
-Broke up at the end of december. Two days after we agreed to meet and talk. I told him I realized now what I was doing wrong. He said that I couldnt change in 2 days. We agreed that we need time to ourselves. We didnt say “lets take a break”. We really broke up and he said we could remain friends and see if it would happen again. I didnt beg, pleaded, nothing. I accepted it gracefully. I smiled at him. We hugged held hands. I gave him a letter I wrote before meeting him in case he never wanted to talk or see me again and it was a definite breakup. I decided to give it anyway. It said how much I apreciated him, apologizing for everything. Also saying that although I never had the guts to tell him, I had loved him all along.
-A few days later he thanked me for it. Said he read it a couple of times and that it was hard to read. We meet two weeks later, by his initiatiVe. He told me to text him to remember him to get me something. I didnt for a week. When I did, he right away said he had that thing for me and I took that as he wanted to meet and scheduled it for the next weekend.
-We were together (1 month after break up) It was a dream. He was sweet, held my hand. It was like we were together again. At the end I decided to ask how did he feel about everything. He said he had hopes we would work it out. That he misses me. That he knows he should text more often. I was all happy. Hugged him a lot. Kissed him on the cheeks a lot. He retributed. I said when we get back it would be different. Lets take it slow. I wasnt feeling ready yet to get back and do it right.
-I emailed him college related stuff he needed. He thanked me. I waited for him to initiate. He would like my stuff a lot on facebook. Up until valentines day. Then never liked anything again. I never texted. Worst mistake ever. Two days after valentines I texted. We agreed to meet. Talked almost everyday up until our meet up at the end of that week, nothing special
-He was colder. I decided we had to talk about stuff. I guess he also wanted to talk. I was shaking. He hugged me and didnt let go for a bit and said he was scared about me shaking. I said I wanted to talk about stuff and was really nervous. I said I want things to work out. He said he does too. That he didnt wanted to give me false hope. That he missed me but was afraid we would get back to how it was. That he would get back to feeling bad. That he has been feeling good now that he can do what he wants. And made sure I didnt think he meant whoring around. I said I want him to keep doing what he wants. That I want to do good to him and make him happy. He said he doesnt want me to change for him. I said no way, I am changing for myself and because I want a healthy relationship in the future. I said I was fighting for what I want without pressuring him. He seemed to apreciate that. He also said the hardest thing for him was things only hit me when we broke up. I said I cant change the past. I can only look forward and that thats what Im doing. I also said I didnt want to say this but since he brought it up, his biggest mistake was not coming up to me and tell me he wasnt feeling ok. That if things kept like that he would broke up. He told me before he was thinking about it for the past weeks. I said I never thought we would broke up. That I thought we were together and would work things out together. He said he never thought of things like that (I guess that that talk could have saved our relationship) I also said that if we like each other we can solve all of this. At the end of the meet up I wanted to make sure of everything so I asked if he really would like things to work out he said yes, he has that will, but now he doesnt feel ready and doesnt know when or if he will.
-A week after was with him to give him his bd gift. Was kind of cold but nice at the same time. At the end I said we should go for a ride. He agreed. I told him to say something. He never did.
-A week later he celebrated his bd. wore the shirt i gave him all weekeend. a mutual friend went up to him and said i had really changed, and was making an effort. he thanked her, said that it could get back someday but that he doesnt feel ready.
-Two weeks passed. I was feeling really connected to him. Then last weekend he messed with our pics, posted a song of an artist we listened together and had really romantic moments to. Then posted a pic with the shirt. Also posted he was down. I took all of it together as being related to me. Still because it was only two weeks I didnt cntact him. But I was feeling like if I contacted he would be open to everything and maybe to even get back.
-For a few days I have been feeling distant. Not as connected or close. Yesterday, he posted a pic. Went for a ride with friends. I am pretty sure there are two helmets on his bike. Totally freaked out. Wanted to call etc. Didn’t.
-Today sent a text. Asking how he is, and what was a place we went to near the beach where we had a very romantic and funny moments saying the weather is good so I want to make the most of it. Still hasnt answered but its ok. He is always busy with work.
I am freaking out. I love him so much. I know we can make it work. I have changed my mentality so much. I am sure it would be great this time. Maybe it wouldnt work at the end. We were at 5 months. Not enough time to figure stuff out. We were still adapting. No reason for this to be the end. But now with me feeling we are distant and with the possibility that after feeling down and thinking about me last week he might have taken a girl with him… I am really worried… I can’t sort my thoughts or feelings out. Why did he do this. Why is he maybe getting close with another girl if he has been psoting stuff about us. Why didnt he just contact me… I dont know how to handle this. … I have been working on myself. Joined the gym at the begining of the year. Will try to enter college this year. Have been looking for a job and all…
Please help me! What do I do
sorry. Please still have a read and tell me what you think everyone 
Asked about his mother as well. No answer until now but I’m not worried.