I will reply and keep it easy. How am I supposed to tell her what’s changed for me though? I wrote something that I finally know outlines my situation honestly, and part of me is screaming to tell her. Even when we meet, the advice here is to not say those things, but why not?
Why not at that you have changed? Well she will notice. Do them causally I’d say but being obvious whilst telling her will make her realise that you are still chasing.
It’s all very odd. Mind games. And still we dont know where we stand. I don’t have a clue. Not a clue. And no matter what anybody else says, until I know 100% then I won’t believe anything for sure. I still strongly feel that we will get back. If o didn’t then I would give up. But I’m not at 100.
I feel better and stronger every day. Knowing that my life is moving in the right direction. She can move on with me if she decides to do that.
But that’s the point. She must decide. I can only do my best to improve and hope that she is willing to take that gamble on me. But they are stubborn creatures. They will leave us guessing. So leave them guessing.
It’s poker Charlie. Don’t show your whole hand at once. What you wrote down you can give it to her in a hand written letter when the time is right. When you feel right.
But I have a good feeling about you 2. You will be fine. I think I will be too.
P.s. I think I am being sort of stalked. A girl from the drama group is asking some very Nosy things in texts. Maybe it’s all good banter. But she tells me what time I was last online at etc.
If she wasn’t in the group I would maybe think about something with her. But imagine doing that now and then getting back with the ex and still having to be in a play with this girl. As you young folk would say; totes awks
First sentence again. Why not tell her that you have changed?
I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t be playing the mind games quite so much. You and I are at very different stages, and I think it’s working for you, but I need to be very considerate of how much I distance myself. I know that I can still only work with what’s been said to me though, and that’s that we aren’t getting back together. I really don’t know what’s happening either, but honestly right now I don’t have a good feeling. She hasn’t text me back since I replied, so I need to try and accept it might not be how I would like it to be. I can only wait and see though.
It’s her nephew’s first birthday today, she posted on Facebook this morning. I have a great photo of the little one and his dad I’d like to post, but all of this withholding has made me fear doing anything. Two days to reply to her text? Whatever we’re doing that would only look cowardly.
Excellent news on your stalker, must be a nice confidence boost for you! You should consider it, to make you feel better. If things didn’t go your way in the next weeks, it’d be nice to have someone to distract you.
Aha, I must be old then!
Flower’s for Valentines? Not roses, unusual ones. No message from me planned either, just the flowers. I feel like I need a way of showing her in the meantime I’m still here.
Posted one of our songs, she then posted about her nephew’s birthday. Talk about bad timing.
Big texts this morning. Haven’t replied. Not sure what to do.
So she sent a few Messages first about the fact that we never paid the woman who did our tax return last year. I had said that we didn’t several times but she insisted that she paid.
Anyway, I didn’t reply. She then sent another Barrage of texts;
She is looking Forward to seeing me next week. Exams start in 2 days and finish in a week.
She has seen nobody in the last few weeks. Nobody. Just her mam and dad and a girlfriend called one evening.
She is doing well in uni. Had a presentation and the lecturer loved it. She then said that everything is going great.
Then a short text Saying; everything is great with the study just. Thats what i meant.
Now, that was a lot of info. Was she trying to subtly hint at something by telling me that she has met nobody? And everything is great just with the study.
I am keeping calm, but that was a lot. Even for just a friend.
What do you think?
P.s. remember, It was definitely all over with us. I heard nothing for 8 days at the start! Don’t give up Charlie
Are you going to send her flowers? Big move. But if you feel it’s right then go for it.
What are you thinking then if not roses?
Don’t read into any of it too much. The fact that she text you a lot is a good sign. Work on that and that alone. Not seeing one sounds like she’s lonely. Take from that what you will I suppose. Clarifying it’s with her study means everything isn’t ok outside of her work. Good sign.
Keep calm.
I’m close to giving up Patrick. I spoke to one of my workmates (female) who thinks that she didn’t like the fact I’d given her space so that’s why I got a reaction. I think that’s true, but I have also felt different since the weekend. I feel like the dust has settled, something has changed. She thought it was over, and now with me being distant I feel it confirms it. I want to send her flowers, and my workmate said do it. She thinks that whether or not I think it will piss her off, it won’t.
Whatever, I don’t even know anymore.
Charlie,
Go for it.
On the text I sent her before the one I got it saying we weren’t getting back together, I had sent her an email with a link to one of our favourite comedian’s new stand up short. I had to buy it, but it only cost a couple of pounds.
She said ‘You probably shouldn’t have sent me that email’ (made me think the gesture had driven her away at the time) and told me it was a lovely gesture but was inappropriate.
It’s this information versus sentences like ‘I know things are really utterly shit at the moment’ that throw me. That sounds like things will get better, or maybe that’s just my interpretation. I overthink everything anyway, but right now it’s crazy.
Thanks for your input LAbound. Have you had a chance to read my thread through?
I’m sure Patrick would appreciate any opinions on his situation too
Thinking of these too, not too Valentine-ish. Plus they’re unusual.
I’ve been thinking maybe just don’t send them on Valentine’s.
http://www.serenataflowers.com/product.asp?prod=105008&refpage=Home_Page&position=pos12
Valentines is saturday. Tomorrow is thursday! Send them whenever I suppose. Tomorrow or Friday.
Gladiolas are nice too. Wrong time of year though I think. Are you going to write anything with the flowers? Like thinking of you. See you next Weekend.
LABound is good. Listen to him. Go for it.
Send flowers. They always like them. If she asks down the line what the hell was going on then say you needed to clear your head. Which you did to be fair.
My Situation is that she is getting closer with each day. Almost there. And I am almost there too. Those were big Messages today to me. “She has been alone (he is gone?)” “really looking Forward to seeing me”.
She is almost back
Interesting how everyone thinks differently, got some conflicting advice from a friend from work. He thought if he were me he wouldn’t send them, said that as things are very confusing at this time, making a romantic gesture wouldn’t necessarily be a wise idea. Much like the email gesture I suppose. He’s known me for years and has been through some difficult breakups himself, lost a marriage.
Christ. So what are you going to do now?
I have no idea Patrick. None at all. I’m getting so tired now.
What about you? Have you replied to those messages yet?
Horrible thought that when we do meet, it’ll have been six weeks since I saw her in person. I think it’s over now if I’m honest, that’s why I’m deliberating flowers. I don’t feel that drive to get her, at least not now. I just feel sad.
6 weeks. Wow. Send the flowers. If you think it’s over then you have nothing to lose