It’s day 29. I’ve been waiting forever for this month to go by and now that tomorrow is day 30 i dont know what To do, well I have a plan I’m just scared. I really hope giving him time and space has made him remove the bad associations from the breakup and has given him time to miss me. I once again am questions myself with questions such as does he love me, does he miss me, does he think about me? We were together for 2 years and the breakup was out of nowhere so how did he lose all those feelings during the 2 months we have been broken up compared to the 2 great years of memories and chemistry. I’ve done so well on improving myself. I just don’t know how to go about talking to him in the right way. What if 30 days of no contact wasn’t good enough? What if he doesn’t text me back after all this time? What if he lost any feelings he had left for me? I’m so nervous and don’t know what to think or do.
First off, he has thought about you and probably still is. The fact that you guys dated from 2 years, the memories of those times do not come and go so easily. I am so glad to hear that you have taken the past month to improve yourself! That’s mostly what the NC period is for! Has he tried to contact you within the 30 days? Also do you have a plan for how you are going to contact him? I bet once you reach out to him all those bad feelings will have past by now and only the good memories remain!
No he hasn’t tried contacting me at all. It scares me that he might be moved on but he is also extremely stubborn so it could be something like that. My friend is having a yard sale this weekend so I plan on contacting him to meet up with me so I can get some of my things from him to put in the yard sale. I don’t plan on talking to him much but a nice friendly conversation if he even agrees to meet me. Today is officially 30 days. I have improved tremendously with myself in several different ways but I know I still love him and want to be with him. Hopefully he is willing to try again one day. Thank you so much for a reply!
Guys are kinda dumb with the fact that most of them are too stubborn to reach out or completely oblivious the whole NC thing is even happening. Haha! Just because he didn’t reached out to you doesn’t mean he has moved on or forgotten about you. I bet once you text him he will be really happy to talk again. My only suggestion would be try not to lead the first text with you picking up stuff from him, it could suggest to him that you are over the relationship or give him a bad vibe. I’m no guy expert though, if I wasnt I wouldnt be on here. Lol! Plus, you know your man better than anyone else so go with your gut. Thats so cool that youve made it though the 30 day! I wish I could! Keep me posted on what happens!
I’m upset because I just realized he stopped following me on Instagram. I know that’s no big deal but I feel that that was a childish move. I don’t harass him or anything, I haven’t had contact with him for a month. I dont know how To take that. We didn’t have a terrible break up. It was upsetting for us both and I was very understanding. He has also blocked me on snapchat from seeing his stories and he also never looks at anything I post on snapchat. I dont know how To take any of this, it seems immature and childish. Do you have any idea as to why he might be doing this?
Ugh, my ex did the same thing, where we didn’t part of any bad terms and we were both upset about it but it was needed at the time. Then he blocked me on facebook and I was pissed! I feel like blocking someone on social media if they don;t harass you is so childish. My ex swears he didn’t do it on purpose. but, whatever! Do you know if he just blocked you recently, or if it was right after the break up? Maybe he did it right away and you just noticed?
We broke up 2 months ago and all I know is he stopped following me within the past 2-3 weeks. He blocked me from seeing his stories on snapchat almost immediately after we broke up. He didn’t block me on Instagram but he just stopped following me. It pisses me off because it’s not like I’m constantly trying to talk to him and I also find it immature. Ugh. Maybe he stopped following me because he didn’t want to see how happy I am? Or he didn’t want to see what I’m up to? I’m still going to text him soon and be nice. Maybe he will just feel stupid afterward and will begin to think about me a lot.
So have you texted him? If you have not yet, I may have a piece of advice here; it’s basically what worked for me.
first, let me say that NC does not necessarily mean 30 days, nothing more, nothing less. NC means no contact for as long as necessary, and it can be anywhere from one day to months or even years - depending on the situation. I reconnected with my ex again after 5 months and though we are not “together” as of now, things seem to be moving in the right direction albeit slowly, very slowly. Again, no guarantees.
Now, especially after he blocked you on social media, I would not text him out of the blue after 30 days to “break the ice” and try to reconnect this way. It almost feels like you have been waiting for the 30 days to go by so that finally you can type him a message. What I would do though is try to make it look more like a coincidence - simply “run into him” one day or happen to attend the same event, or run into him through common friends, you get the gist… - I know, it sounds a bit devious but hey, at this point, you really have no idea about the state of mind he is currently in…If you do get to “run into each other” and have some fun/light-hearted small talk, you can decide on your next step based on his reactions/body language. This is what I would personally do; it could save some heartache; again, different people have different approaches; you should know your ex better than us. Just for the record, that’s what I did with my ex and it worked for me. Good luck and keep us posted.
I actually did text him today and told him I needed someone of my things back for a yard sell I’m having this weekend and he did reply quickly which I feel is a good thing but as expected he is trying find a way around seeing me. He said he could have a friend give it to me because they were going up to visit him. I then asked if his friend would be back in time for the yard sell and he said he didn’t know and that he’d see what he could do. I didn’t respond. I feel that shows that I’m not needy and by being the one who didn’t respond I feel in control. I also feel that he is thinking about me now since we talked. Any thoughts on the situation?
I think its a good thing you are not bombarding him with text. And it’s always a good thing to be in control of the relationship. I found some info on how to text an ex after the NC period and I think its really helpful. I am gonna paste it below. Maybe it will help with your situation. It talks about slowly getting back into texting your ex to make it feel natural.
" Day 1: 1 Text
(Wait A Day)
Day 2: 2 Texts
(Wait A Day)
Day 3: 4 Texts
Day 4: 8 Texts
(Wait A Day)
Day 5: 16 Texts
(Wait A Day)
Day 6: 32 Texts
Day 7: 64 Texts
Now, here is the coolest thing about the secret formula to tide theory.
It’s customizable.
You can customize it to your needs.
For example, maybe you feel that doubling your texts is a little too much and you would like to spread the doubling out even more.
Well, you can craft the secret sauce to fit your needs perfectly. "
Hope that bit of info helps, are you planning on texting him again anytime soon?
Thank you so much! I’ll try to follow that! I do plan on texting him again soon but probably not for a couple more days! But thank you guys so much! I really appreciate the responses and you going out of your way to help!
Everyone is really different and not everyone prefers texting as unbelievable as it may sound these days in my case, texting does not work at all and I would never try it. In a way, I like that because texting can easily drive me insane, I just hate its dynamics…if you and your ex are used to texting, then go for it. At the same time, I would use it sparingly especially if you plan to reconnect and try to make it work in the long term. As Leogirl commented on my story, getting your ex back is a process that will take its own sweet time and we need tons of faith and patience keep us posted!
Hi Taelor,
I see your situation seems a bit hopeless for you. Don’t worry, at first he may seem rude or even not willing to talk to you, just keep it fine and be lighthearted, be yourself and forget about the breakup, forgot even that you both were dating, just be the person you are and everything will be fine
Something inocuous may be fine for this first contact, remember that you are just testing the waters right now. Imagine that you are just two new people meeting each other.
Everything will just be fine
Thank you for your positivity I’m going to try and stay positive also through this! I’m still giving him space and time and am just going to be friendly when we do talk!
your situation sounds a lot like mine Taelor, how did it end up for you??
This situation seems pretty similar to where I am right now. I’m at about two months of no contact with 2.5 months since the breakup and I’m trying to map out my first contact and it’s giving me extreme anxiety.
@laurao14 its nice to know theres someone in the same boat, but also I feel awful for you as I wouldnt wish this stress or hurt on anyone. Has your man reached out at all over the 2.5 months?? I’m personally worried that the fact mine hasn’t means there isn’t any hope but I know he’s also been crazy busy at work as well as two weeks holiday in africa so I’m not sure he’s really had a chance to think about it.
Do you have any reason to bump into him? Mutual friends, work etc?
And has he blocked you on any social media at all?
I was asked out by a guy who is lovely and would normally be exactly my type but I just feel so guilty and not ready for it, even though all my friends say I should date I can just only ever think of my ex…
I hope we can help each other through this!