Please heeeelp, please someone to answer me

[sky]

Hello again…I a just want an answer mr-the_ex , patricia12…please…if you read the post…please…You know my situation so I will write again…after no contact

Well I finished no contact rule, it 25 days, I didn’t want to make it a month….but, when I started No contact rule, I didn’t had a sign from my ex, before some days, I decided to finish No contact as I was feeling great and had passed 3 weeks…the same time, my ex did me likes on my social medi, photos, posts, which I am so happy!!...and also he did like to some songs which are not in my profile, songs was about breaking up and missing… I know I must not give attention on social media but it was the only sign from him…

I send him a positive message, just to remind him something and that I hope he had a great time…I didn’t begged, I was completely different from my last messages to him…probably he will think what is going on or not? because I am not begging, I don’t know if he has found other girl…

during the no contact rule I have not done something to him, nothing…no messsage, no like even if he was uploading photos, me I was doing my no contact…and when he saw that I am not doing something, he started his likes to me…

I send him good eveninggggg!!do you remember about this, etc…hope you had a great time”

and he answered me “good evening. how are…he told me about how it was and that he went somewhere else”

I know that he was alone there, so I told him I am fine, busy with work, hope everything is good for you too, where else did you go?” he didn’t answered…

So i left one day, and wrote him again to help me with something, in the beggining again he was cold hello, How are you… but then we wanted to help me, and telling me informations , and we spoke a little for how we are doing with works…just this…i send him something funny a video, and telling him when will you come here ? (you know we live in different cities)

He read my messages really quickly but no respond, also…from the day of his likes until now just passed one week…and from the day which i sent him first message after no contact until now (3 days) he is all the time on social media, aaaall the time, I mean he is so much on social media…

Ok, he is going out some hours but he spents so much tme in social media, whenever i enter he is inside, and this is happenning after my message…i am very positive on my messages, and even if he does not respond I am not begging…

But i don’t knwo what his behavior means, ok he did me likes, which is a sign that maybe he missed me, or to see that he is around of me, but now what??? Why is he cold???why he does not want to have dialog… I have read here on blog about messages and what to send…but I don’t know…

why he is giving me these signs??? Ok his likes maybe are just likes…but wait a minute…he is doing me likes and he knows how much i was in love with him?? It is like to give me a sign with his likes…is he playing with me???

in the end and sorry for my big post…what he really wants and what I have to do???

I wish you will rspond me mr_the_ex and patricia12…pleeeeease…

i really need your advice!!!

[mr_the_ex]

I’ll go back and read all the posts so far and write what I can…

[mr_the_ex]

I re-read everything from the beginning.

You did a great job on the no contact period. He hasn’t shut you off and he knows you still want a relationship with him.

The problem is, you can’t make him want him have a close relationship with you. He has said he can’t see himself having a close relationship with you at this point (and that it was his “final decision”) but he also said he still loves you and sends these likes. That is normal behavior from someone who really did care and does care about you but who, at this point, doesn’t want a permanent, close relationship with you.

From what you wrote, it sounds like he cares about you but doesn’t want to commit to any kind of relationship. The reason he isn’t writing back is because he’s told you that he doesn’t want a committed relationship and doesn’t want to make you feel bad by saying repeatedly. He likely thinks that by not writing you, it will be better for you because it will make it easier for you to forget about him and move on.

At the same time, he doesn’t dislike you, he just feels like he lost the romantic feelings toward you. Is there something you can do about it? Probably not. It is up to him at this point. There isn’t a magic way to get someone to be attracted to you, either they are or they aren’t. And you are obviously someone who can care very deeply about someone else so if you found someone who felt the same about you, you’d have a great relationship. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing you did wrong. He just lost his feelings toward you.

Will he get those feelings back someday? Maybe someday he will change his mind and think about everything he lost. He knows how you feel about him. The best (and only) thing you can do is let him find those feelings again, himself. He obviously had that feeling for you at one point because you said you had a good 6 month relationship.

It sounds like you had a difficult time during no contact because you went over old communication you had with him trying to figure out what was going on. And you feel like you are getting mixed messages from him and you are and aren’t. He said he doesn’t want a committed relationship with you but that he loves you.

There are people you can really love and care about that you still don’t want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend (or more) relationship with. And he is doing all these social media things but not writing you back. I think he is not writing back because he thinks it isn’t hurting you and is the easiest way to break things off for at least a while.

You can’t make him want a committed relationship with you, he either does or he doesn’t. At this point, he doesn’t. But he knows you are out there. He will contact you if his feelings change. They could. But in the meantime, you need to work on making yourself happy. I would suggest not contacting him and let him contact you. If his feelings do change, he will let you know. You contacting him can’t make those feelings appear again. You’ve done all you could.

You seem like a person who someone should really be happy to have a relationship with. You care very deeply. I hope you find a person who cares for you even more than you care for them Right now, he isn’t that person. He might be someday but I think he needs to find that in himself and there isn’t anything you can to do that would change him except give him the time to try and find those feelings on his own.

[patricia12]

@sky
I agree with mr_the_ex. You’ve done all you could and now it’s up to your ex whether he wants to stay in touch or not. I would suggest you not post so much on social media and try not to interpret what it means if he likes something. By contacting him too much or posting too much, you appear needy and desperate again, which are the reasons he broke up with you. I agree that you sound like a very sweet person and you deserve a man who will love you with his whole heart. Wish you the best…

[sky]

Hello mr_the_ex and patricia12 and thank you sooo much for your answers!!! really you helped me so much, I was feeling so sad again, and I was waiting your answer!!!

mr_the_ex You are so kind because you understood me even if I live far away from you!! thank you so much!!! Really when I love, i love deeply and when we meet with my ex it was exactly what I wanted and what he wanted!!! By not writing me actually makes me more close to him and I want really to call him and writing that I love you with all my heart!!! In the beggining of break up he has told me that time will make you feel better but I thought he was telling it just to not make me sad…Duting no contact i was up and down but the problem is that I love him so much, and distance sure was a reason for making him lost his feelings…He is the reason of my happiness and now I am writing him a little bit different not begging etc. It is hurting me to see that he proably enver loves me again and really the little progress which I made in no contact now I am again in the zero…hopeless and sad…

I thought likes was a sign that he missed me…I feel so sad, and even if I try to make my life better the nights when I am alone I am thinking of him and I am crying…

It is hard to see the truth…

mr_the_ex thank you so muuuuch for your comment and forgive me for making you to write me, but really I was so sad, still I am, of course no contact works and hope all the people here to do no contact!! it was a good was for me even if the result is not good…

maybe one day he will come back but maybe that day me I will not be there for him…

Now i will just inform him about his help after some days, and then I iwll just write hm somehting about our love…I will try to not be desperate…just …i don’t know…i want to make him to remember all the good times that we had…

I just want to show him my love even if he doesn’t want me…but of course not to be needy and desperate…in fact i just want to speak with him …

He knows that I love him…but as you said there is nothing i can do to change his mind…

Thank you so much mr_the_ex!!! i wish you all the best also in your life!!!

Patricia12 thank you so much for your post!!! i will try to follow your advice even if it is very hard, how much I love him?? Wish he never lost his feelings for me, but it happened…I wish you also the best in your life!!!

Thank you so much both of you for your posts!!! I feel like you are very close to me and really thank you so much!!! Yoou helped me when I was alone and really from my heart i wish you the best!!!

I don’t know what is gonna happen with me and him,…wish to have good news soon!! I am so sorry for make both of you to write me quickly but i was feeling so lost and confused!!!

A big hug to both of you!!!

[sky]

hello to everyone!!! A quick update…well when I read your posts really I was crying so much , my eyes became so sad…the next day I woke up and i was different inside…I don’t know what happened to me…i still care and love him but i don’t know I feel strange…and I started to give more attention to what I love, I am telling to myself “what happened and you feel good?”…

He still doing this things on social media, not in my profile (I am not posting all time, I am posting in the same way as in past) but he started to do likes in things which is about hmmm…how to explain it…he thinks that the bad person it’s me…but HE divorced me, not me, and even if I was being so sad I was sending him messages and I was opening to him my heart, anyway…as you said "likes’ on social media are just “likes”…and to sy the truth I don’t think he is bad, he is very good person and sure he was hurting with break up even if he was relax…

So…i told him about his help, because we have same interestings, I thanked him in a positive way “thank you so much, you really helped me, if you weren’t i didn’t knew what to do, I also found another person who is there and can search the situation and I hope to finish my work”…really he helped me, because he knew better than me what I have to do in this work, and from whatever I wrote him he just said you are welcome, i wish you finish the work, and…who is that person?" (he knew that is gonna be a man, because he knows what persons are there but he does not know them personally)…I just told him is a friend of a friend…he didn’t respond…I know he never responds, and when he responds he is cold…really I spoke with him first, and then i started to see what i can do for the work by asking also other people to have an idea for what moves I must do…we are not anymore couple so I must stand on my foots, when we were together we were speking for everything, but now it is different, I am looking myself, he is looking himself!

Ok I thought he became jealous but maybe he was just wondering who is gonna help me…why to be jealous?? He never was with me, I never give him a reaosn to be jealous with me…

As you told and you have right, now he is the perosn who must make clear what he wants, I mean if he loves me as he told…then if he wants i am here…but…he must found it on his own, I did everything, I love him, but I must care also myself, I know that is gonna be in my heart, and I don’t want to see him with other woman, but he is caring for himself and i have to do the same…

If i will have something new…I will let you know sweet friends!!!

[patricia12]

@sky - I’m glad you’re feeling a little better and taking care of yourself. He might be curious as to who this other person is to help you, but it doesn’t mean he wants to get back with you. Okay, you’ve thanked him for his help and he already knows you love him. Now it’s time for no contact!

You must not contact him for any reason for at least 30 days and don’t post too much on social media. Actually if possible, it would be best not to visit social media at all. Good luck.

[sky]

@patricia12 Helloooo Patricia and thank you so much!!! So you mean to do again no contact because I had already done it for 25 days and that’s was the result…in fact I don’t know if it is a good idea to write him when I will go there for this work, it is a place in which he has so many beautifull memories, and I thought that remind-message maybe it is good, for example the place made me to think of you and i smiled…what do you think Patricia? In some days I am gonna be in this place…of course I can write it afteeer days and days…

Also I don’t know really if again the no contact make him to move on…and to say the truth even if I had sent him before the no contact a message explaining him , you know the “letter” message, I wanted to make again clear all the things (and the question here is why to make again all the things clear???he already knows them and he can put a veeery big wall again between us) and then to “dissapear”, not to show begging, or needy…just clear message of whatever happened but…of course about this message still i have doubts , i want to see first how it is going the situation now with all this, but as I see he is cold…

The strange is that when I am out of social emdia I feel better hahahahaha…

I know what you mean and maybe going again in no contact makes him to miss me or to feel something for me…

in fact, I have in my mind that “love” needs two persons, I am doing all the best but he is as I described, so…even if it is hard maybe I have to move on…not now…but I am showing him love, and I have done all this after no contact but maybe it is hopeless…

So what to do?? To write him a remind-messange for the place or not? And then to do no conatct for some days, to not be in social media, it will be hard not being there because I also show my work, so maybe I will be just for some hour and then out,

And the hard past of all this is that according to mr_the_ex he still loves me and care for me but he does not want a relationship with me at this time…and this make sme that he will move on BUT after no contact of 3 weeks he just show something even if he was cold, it was somehting…i was thinking that he will never speak to me…

[patricia12]

@sky - Okay, send one more reminder message and then you must stop contacting him and stay off social media. You were only together for 6 months. There are good and bad memories. You were too clingy and needy. Maybe you were pestering him too many times with too many messages. Let him have space to miss you and in the meantime, spend more time visiting family and friends, hobbies, and dating other local guys. Don’t put your life on hold. Make yourself happy by doing things you enjoy.

[sky]

@patricia12 In fact anymore I don’t want so much to send him remind-message, maybe I will send it but not now, it is better to pass somedays. You have right I was so much needy and clingy after breaking with my many messages. But it was cause of his behavior, I mean ok I didn’t have the strength to move on and the same time he was showing me whatever I had wrote. By the way after break I dated other guy and really I was feeling better. And to say the truth ok I will send him a remind message after somedays, then maybe after daaaaays i will send him my last message in which I am gonna tell him that I am ok with the break, I passed great with you, you made me have happy, I wanted to be together again but being in a "new’ realtionship without the affect of the past I love you but anymore me too I don’t know and sure it was bad all that messages ,you were feeling sad also, anymore I don’t know if still exist love between us…does exist?? (somehting like this I am thinking to write him afteeeeer daaaays) and then to dissapear…

I know maybe he will see me again as needy but really I am not, I mean it is strange but I don’t care so much of what he is doing, just i want to let him see that it’s ok and i was begging him almost for 2 months but I improved myself and I am not gonna let my life cause of a breaking up…

So if he is gonna miss me or not, time will show it…if he still want to be together time will show it…

But really even if about this message I am not sure if I want to send him…maybe he needs time…and the same time as you said I am not gonna wait him forever, I show him all my love, I give him time, I tried he is cold, I am gonna try again, BUT there is a limit because I am also a human being and I need love, if he does not want to be with me ok, it will be hard but I will move on… and really if one day we will be again together of course I am not gonna have the same relationship with him as in past…

[patricia12]

@sky - According to your first post above, you already sent him a remembrance message.

The other note you’re thinking of writing later included, “…I wanted to be together again … I don’t know if still exist love between us…does exist??” This sounds too needy.

You’ve already done a lot of begging, you already told him you love him many times, and you’ve contacted and pestered him many times! Therefore, it would be best to do no contact now.

Sorry, I know you’re sad, but you need to stop obsessing about him as it only makes you sadder. Get out and enjoy life and other people. Focus on yourself and other things…

[mr_the_ex]

I think you’ve done a great job. As you said, love needs two people. You did everything you could. You deserve someone who cares for you so much. When you find that person, you will be so happy That might be him if he changes his mind. Or it might be someone else. You sound like a really nice, caring person and will end up with someone who really loves you just like you love them

[sky]

@patricia12 Hellooo and thank you for your answer!!! It is true that whatever I send him, he was sooo cold, maybe I will send him a last remind message even if I know that he will be cold…

and then no contact for somedays…

Tha’s was exactly what i was thinking he will see me again neeyd, with my “last message” which i want to send him, but the problem is that always I am thinking to be clear, to be true in other people…

For now just a remind messge and we will see…

of course I will write the update when it will happen…

[sky]

@mr_the_ex hello mr_the _ex!!! Thank you so much!!! He was caring really, but who knows what he is thinking now, maybe he wanted me to be all time in a begging mood, but as i said a need also love, because it is great to receive love messages from someone who loves you , even if you broke up with that person and you to be relax and to think ooook, this girl is here for me!!

You know what I mean mr_the-ex who does not want to receive love messages and to know that this person still loves you but you don’t want to be with that person…

But in a relatioship is two people,not one and as he wants love messages from me , and he to enjoy life, me too I want love messages from him. because after brekaing up he was receiving soooo many lovely messages from me, and of course he liked them but me i was receiving only how are you, yes I love you, but we can not be together…

Until to change his mind, probably my mind will be change…and anymore even if in my heart is a little sadness , I feel better, I am thinking the days after breaking up and I say to myself, you were in that position???Come on girl find the power to stand in your legs as you were always!!! And I am doing my first steps…

I wish with all my heart really one day to meet you and also patricia12 and to thank you about everything!!!

[sky]

Helloooooo!!So i send him the remind message and he answered me after hours "hello (my name) "…he asked me how I am , where I went, …i read his message and I answred the next day again in a positive way, i asked him also how he is…(of course he didn’t responed, maybe he will respond)

well i didn’t exprected his message, also i didn’t exprected to write my name…i know it was just a message, it does not mean he wants me back…and really if he wants it is on himself anymroe, really!!! But we have to contact more and to write me also, because in my remind message i didn’t asked him somehting it was just a remind message, …i was telling that it’s ok the work, It was a great place, something which I saw reminded you and I smiled…"

I am not gonna contact him until he will contact, i mean if he wants he can answer my question about how he is…maye he will not contact, in fact i have been used to not have a respond from him, so it’s the same for me anymore…

really i was thinking to send the “last message” to explain him everything and it happened this…now I am just gonna wait a little…and then I will write him…and then it’s time to move on even if it is very hard…

[sky]

@mr_the_ex and @patricia12 hellooo!! A little update…in the beggining of our relationship I had told him for a day which was very special for me. Nobody else except my family knew it…sooo after my remind message I didn’t waited something else from him…and he send me ‘goodmorning. i wish you for this special day…’ me I answered him thnak you so much for wiches and for rembering the day, wish you also the best, a little sweet kiss to you"…

I didn’t waited this message from him…anymore I am gonna send him the last message, I can not anymore have it in my heart, I want to know what really feels…his behavior is huerting me, I can not anymore, I did eveyrhting correct, so it’s time to speak clear…if he answer me we will see, if he not answer…he will lost…

Thank you for everything!!! Hope I will have good news…

[mr_the_ex]

I hope things work out for the best!

[sky]

@mr_the_ex Hope it too. Well i wrote him the last message. In which I told him that what happened happened in the past. I love you but anymore I don’t know, so I asked him what he feels, and if exist love between us…of cours ehe read the message. No answer. Then I wrote him that I think it is time to talk together if you wanted, because your heart is important for me, and I would really like to know your thoughts…

Well we wills ee what will happen, i don’t have hopes anymore, but it is getting my nervous when he does not answer and in the end…we had a raltionship at least he can answer me and not playing. Whatever he feels he can say it…

that’s all…

Thank you so much for your help mr_the_ex !!!