Before my NC I made a video detailing all the flaws I had in myself and things I wanted to change in myself. I uploaded it to Dropbox because I didn’t want to store it on my Mac and its basically where me and my gf kept all our pictures and videos.
So I got a message from her saying ‘Can I ask you something’ to which I replied ‘Yeah’ and she said to me ‘did you mean everything you meant on that video’ through comments going back and forth eventually she showed me a screenshot of the video that I uploaded to dropbox. That very same video. She was always logged in Dropbox so despite me changing the password on Dropbox so she couldn’t access it, because she was still logged in, she still had access to it.
She watched the entire video, an hour long video and it cleared all her emotions and it clarified everything about what she was confused about. There were things I didn’t appreciate her in our old relationship, and through her self reflection she also did throughout the duration we were apart, she noticed she didn’t put the same effort in as I did, she didn’t appreciate me the same way I did and so she wanted me back and promised that she was looking forward to a new relationship with new changes.
She told me she just wanted excitement, but after staying with him overnight, she felt shit and that she stayed with him because he just gave her excitement, he was a kinky fucker lol so because she just wanted to forget everything she just didn’t care about boundaries, and they did stuff that I didn’t do which caused problems for us and it made me see how boring our sexual life was compared to what she wanted.
So now me and her are meeting up tomorrow to discuss this properly and fully take it to the next step…
Thank you so much to every single one of you for all of your advice, a few people I want to thank as well especially is LA Bound you sexy beast you helped me so much and I still read our conversation and it helps me still. Napoleon I Am Kramer, mike2014, ghost, Belle , Aphrodite.
All your guys comments have helped hugely. Sorry if I missed you out but thank you all.
Just keep in there, one thing this taught me is if you believe your partner is the one then go with your belief. Follow your gut instinct when to do stuff and what to do. I thought my ex was doing just about okay but I found out she was actually feeling shit the entire time, she couldn’t even sleep properly, she hasn’t slept properly and she’s been thinking about me constantly every day for the past nearly 3 months.
Just think with a clear view without any emotions attached, identify your self worth based on how you are as a person and then again with a clear view try and see if your ex matches what your worth.
One piece of advice I got from a good friend of mine was this:
Imagine the perfect person you would love to settle down with, don’t put a face or name to the person, just imagine the person in terms of the traits and personalities and habits. Now look at the type of person that they would like to attract as in the personality habits and traits they would admire in the opposite sex. Aspire to be that person. If you feel that the person you imagined when imagining the perfect person is without a doubt your ex then by all means your ex is that person.
Your ex will not always be a perfect match but if the tweaks needed are tweaks that you feel are understandable problems then still associate that perfect person as your ex.
Good luck guys and girls. Hope all of you get everything you guys and girls deserve.