My ex-girlfriend and I had been together for three years. We met in college. She was a student from Germany and spent a year in the US together.
It then became a long-distance relationship for a bit. To give context, we had an unplanned pregnancy, and the child was adopted, but it was something that made us close.
Although we were different in some ways, we rarely fought, and there was never any abuse of any kind.
This year in August, I moved in which her. Things were great until my untreated anxiety and depression, of about ten years, started to bother me a lot, and she felt the effect. She felt I was too dependent on her for happiness, which I will admit was true. She was all I had.
I decided I wanted to go home to get some counseling finally, but she decided for now that we should break up. And that we would visit each other the following spring.
We did not talk for a month when I finally messaged her. She said she loved me, it happened too fast and I suggested we did not talk for a while again, and she told me she wanted to talk soon. I took this info as too positive and put pressure on her to give me another chance (too early, I agree.) She laid down the law and said I need time to get right, and she needs time alone too.
Since then, if it ever went too long without hearing from me, she will text me. In December, she started sending me a lot of blushing smileys and texted a lot. This lasted for about two months. I was happily building something up slowly. But one day she wanted to facetime and have a nice conversation, and I blew it.
I told her I loved her still, and she got all nervous. She told me she still has feelings for me, misses me, wants me to visit, and wants to talk to me all the time, but says right now she does not want to be with me but wants me to visit in the summer. She told me it was never about meeting other people and said she would not be happy if I were with other girls. Keep in mind she is forthright and honest, typical German, haha.
I went no contact for all of Feb. Found out she texted a friend of mine after he posted pics of us going out in Tampa. She soon after reached out to me.
To the present she has texted me a few times on her own over the past few weeks. On my birthday she texted me two messages including one with a heart emoji. I got stronger and we have since facetimed, i kept it cool and confident. She sends me blush emoji whenever we stop texting.
It is all so confusing. She texts my mom, that she misses her sends her hearts. Her mom texts me, says they still have my toothbrush in the guest room in case I come back. And She has yet to remove any of my stuff, including pictures of us from her apartment. It has been four months since we broke up.
What should I do? Where do we stand? Are there chances we can make it work again?