The girl I had been dating for almost two months told me that we should stop seeing each other last week. For the first 5 weeks or so, we were spending a lot of time together and it felt very fun and passionate at the time. It was a very slow period of our respective jobs so we were spending significantly more time together than most people would when they start seeing each other at first.
The last 3 weeks or so, things went a little more stale and she finally told me that she wasn’t enjoying spending time with me anymore and that we should stop dating. Although I disagreed, I was respectful of her wishes and kept the split as amicable as possible and have not contacted her since.
During the past week or so, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the time that we spent together, which I was not able to do when we were seeing each other because we were spending so much time together.
In hindsight, I felt like over the course of the relationship I had become more insecure and needy, especially during the times we weren’t spending time together because I had gotten so used to spending time with her. So I realized since the split that I did not like how I was behaving towards the end of the relationship and no wonder she no longer enjoyed spending time with me.
During our time together, because I was so blinded by her, I spent a lot less time doing the things I love, my hobbies and spent a lot less time with my friends and was less focussed on my career (especially because it was a slow period for my job). And same goes for her. I realized I probably would have reached a breaking point but I think she had reached hers first.
With all the self-reflection that I’ve been able to do, I’ve realized that the split was the right decision even though it gives me much pain. I’ve been able to do more of the things I enjoy, spending more time with my friends and my job is picking up again.
I feel that my mindset is improving the more time has passed since the split although I am still in pain and still miss her very much. I’ve realized the many mistakes I’ve made regarding my behaviours. I’m already achieving a better balance in other aspects of my life. If possible though, I would like to try things with her again (while maintaining my self-realizations and better balance of other aspects of my life) as we did have good chemistry and passion.
I don’t want her to think that I’ve been making changes just in hopes of getting back together. I made them because I had realized that I did not like who I had become and did not like how poorly I was treating myself.
When would be the appropriate time to contact her again, considering my situation and considering we were not dating for no more than two months.