Hi All,
I would love some advice on my situation. I found this site by googling what to do when you work with an ex.
So here’s my situation. A few months ago I slept with someone from work. My office is very social and people tend to drink a lot and hang out together a lot. The next day he IM’d me through our inner-office IM after work and asked for my mobile. After I sent it to him he wrote that he had a really good time with me last night and we made some chat about our weekend plans. He had his son that weekend and he told me all about the stuff they were going to do. So after that we both implied to the other person that it was a bad idea to sleep together again because I’m a 31 year old female in a mid-level position and he’s a 42 year old male executive at our firm. We work in different departments and have never actually worked together on any projects.
So over the next few weeks we kept hanging out as friends, but in secret. He took me to dinners and we had happy hours together (mostly with a few other coworkers present - no one knew that he was the one inviting me to these hh’s). We kissed once during this time (after we had done dinner), but he then said it was a bad idea because we work together and shouldn’t do this. This pattern kept repeating (I got super annoyed and sick of it but I couldnt stop seeing him).
Cut to last Friday. I invited him out for a drink after work - as a friend. He said yes immediately and came and met me. We ended up having a really good time. We really like each other’s company. At this point I was ok with just being friends with him because I was sick of the back and forth and I really liked having him in my life. He said he wanted to find a way for us to actually be friends in public and started talking about a plan to make that happen. We even talked a little bit about the people we were casually dating. Before this happened I had gone on a few dates with a guy I sort of liked and he said he had been on a few dates with a women his age. I was hoping to meet up with that guy a little bit later in the evening, actually. But then he grabbed my phone and took a selfie of us and sent it to the guy… saying it would make him show up faster. I really didn’t and still don’t follow that logic.
So after dinner and drinks he invited me back to his place to hang out. We drank some wine, listened to music, and talked for a few hours. I had a really good time. Then we started getting into really serious conversation territory. We talked about our divorces (his a few years ago, has a pre-teen son and mine was last year, no kids). We shared deep, personal stuff and he told me stuff he went through that he said he hadn’t told any one else. We (of course) ended up sleeping together that night and then he held me in his arms the whole night. So Saturday, much later in the day, I texted him, saying I had a really good time the night before and thanked him for dinner. He wrote back a really brisk reply that he did do but we need to keep things professional from now on. I said, I guess that’s a good idea and then asked him about his holiday plans. He never responded. Radio silence. Luckily I left for my holiday on Sunday and i wont be back until the first week of January.
So my question is, what do I do here? I definitely caught feelings this time around. I really like him and care about him. I love spending time with him and I’m wildly attracted to him. Is there any hope for us to ever be together as a couple? Thank you for your advice.