We had an intense relationship, deep mutual love but two difficult traumatized people, our personal issues got in the way.
He didn’t want professional help for his own issues nor a relationship therapist. He did do his best on his own but had difficulty confronting himself. I couldn’t handle it anymore so gave him a deadline of getting help, which he couldn’t.
We concluded that it just doesn’t work for now and that I need to continue fixing my own issues, he has to do so to to get us back together but I don’t know if he’s going to get to that point. At least now I don’t push him anymore, I hope that will give him the space to find his inner motivator… We had something special.
Anyway I’m busy finding additional mental health care for myself. Takes a while and a shit ton of effort.
What do I do with the anger I still feel of how I’ve been treated, he was just mean sometimes to me (and I probably were as well). At the end he couldn’t say a honest sorry anymore and I didn’t dare to talk to him for weeks because of the destructive patterns we got stuck in.
But… How do I handle this anger? How do I release? How can I forgive?
I mean I let him go too far because I didn’t want to give up and didn’t dare to stand my ground because I was afraid of losing him so it’s partly my own fault so I tend to try to forgive myself for that and with that I also forgive him. But, I can only say this rationally to myself. Any tips on how to actually process this pain?