Alright, so let me give you the briefest backstory I can.
Okay, me and my girlfriend were together for a little over a year. We have a great amount of things in common, got along wonderfully, adored each other’s families, were competitive with each other, and so on. We are both recovering addicts, we both love to play sports, I’m very physically attracted to her and I thought that we had all the “boxes” checked if you will. we discussed moving in together and pretty much just a lifetime together.
We had a very playful relationship and I have a tendency to turn a lot of things into a joke where in the beginning she loved because I kept her laughing. She lives about 40 minutes away from me and has a situation to where she can’t really have guest’s coming into her house to stay/visit. We have talked about moving in together and her getting a job but she’s just very non committal in general. So, it became custom that she would leave and spend all her weekends over here with me. During the very beginning of her relationship, her mom had passed away. (She’s 29 and i’m 32). This was extremely difficult on her for obvious reasons and I did the best I knew how to do to support her and/or give her space to process those emotions but still be supportive and available. I had gotten to a point where we were just kind of lounging around on the weekends because I work all week and was just a little tired and felt like we both wanted to relax (I know if we were to have another go at it, communication would have to be much more open and talk about what we’re feeling)
In essence, I got comfortable, I didn’t make her feel special or like I cared enough and she got tired of it. I really have been thinking the whole relationship that she can be the one I spend my life with but I guess I didn’t do a great job at showing it. Around Thanksgiving time she dropped the news that she doesn’t feel the same for me anymore. She said that she doesn’t feel like it’s working and loves me but is confused whether she is in love with me or not. This took me for a loop and really shocked me. I almost didn’t believe it. In this time, she had been entertaining another guy and since then has told me that she has spent time with him too. I flipped out at first, but then came crawling back to her like a pathetic puppy dog. Almost dismissing this other guy immediately. I have gone through other breakups and seen the no contact work but I find it so hard with this girl.
Since the break up, she has said things to me like she sees me as the man she marries, she loves me and misses me, thinks about me all the time, etc,etc. I have tried to back away and ignore her/go no contact ant the longest I have made it is like 4 or 5 days. It’s because I don’t want to be a dick. I do understand the concept of her being confused and also having her cake and eating it too. I just feel like I’m doing more damage by ignoring her than I am by responding to her. I love her so much and want to be with her and build a life together.
My question is:
Is there still hope or a good chance we can reconcile, is no contact the play? If i go no contact am I straight up ignoring her. Someone please help and guide me. 