Hello my name is Thomas male 37 this is day one of a true official no contact.. today my ex just told me she stayed too long yet wants to keep me as a friend someone she could talk too..she broke up with me a month ago we had financial things to take care of so we couldn’t go full no contact then yet now I made the choice to go because I cannot just be friends with her I had made a few mistakes that im not proud of.. she thinks her only mistake was staying to long with me. I just truly had to go no contact with lost my job in January ans its been a downward spiral ever since.. now I truly love my ex shes has done the most for me out of any ex but because I haven’t shown any real qualities for her to be wirh me the last 9 months of trying but no results she left.. I truly know at this moment there’s no hope of ever getting back together because I pushed her away. She already knows im in therapy to work on my issues knows I just got another job ans slowly getting back up but she wants no part of it.. she even said why she would get jealous as im not hers anymore..Just want to know how no contact will work for me. Because I truly felt this women was the one she gotten the best of me until the last 6 months. She didnt know how to deal with me struggling which made her feel like I killed her. I hope there’s a way she can see my self improvement as I know I will
I have one more nugget to add.. Just went no contact wirh my ex about two hours ago and to me setting up no contact she now as replied with shes glad I can just walk away and not care about anything and that shes not gonna be talking to my friends anymore. I feel it is her way of getting a reaction out of me to keep to hurt me like she feels I have hurt her by stopping the thing she misses most which is me being someone she could talk to.. idk how to feel.. im confused im shocked that she doesnt care about me as she said. Because I gave up what she wants most.. I dont know if I want her back now. Yet one thing I did like was her fire how do i go no contact we still have pressing financial bills to take care of.. guess we will be screwed on that as well.
Hi Thomas,
You are right. That message was to get a reaction out of you. You need to stick to no contact and only speak to her whenever necessary. Whenever you speak to her, be cordial but don’t beg or be needy.
It’s a very good thing that you are getting therapy and are making changes in your life. In my experience, in situation like yours, there’s often an opportunity to reunite in the future. But you should keep your expectations in check and keep working on yourself. Hope for the best, but expect the worst.